My friend has been dating her bf for the last 3 yrs, both are 27. They've been living together very happily for the last yr & a half. From what she tells me, both love spending lots of time together & don't get sick of each other. Both have law degrees & have been working about a yr at fairly good starting salaries, they're temporarily living w/his sister & her husband until they find a place of their own, they share a lot of common interests, & they get along well w/each other's family. In short, they have a great relationship.
BUT (& this is confusing), although he acknowledges that he can see marrying her "someday" & he would like to marry her "someday," he's not too keen on discussing even generally WHEN marriage might occur. He's fine discussing the ceremony (small wedding), the family (1-2 kids), finances, etc. but if the conversation turns to WHEN this'll take place, he clams up.
Why does he clam up? Does he actually not want to marry her? If not, why feed her the bull?
2006-08-31 20:49:18 · 19 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
♠♥ShAyLa♥♠ had a good answer. He is not stable, he has no house, why would he be ready for marriage?
By the by things are perfect why does there have to be anything else? Lets say wait to have children until your married but come on, things are perfect now. I hope you are not stressin your friend about this. she seems to have found herself a great catch ;)
2006-08-31 21:38:15 · answer #1 · answered by IveBeenHereSinceYesturday 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He lives in his sister's home. He gets to sleep with your friend every night. He's got a pretty good job, and so does his girfriend. Heck, he's got, what many work hard to get- without much effort, and zero commitment. Why SHOULD he be eager to change things? This is exactly why shacking up is usually a bad idea for women. As long as he keeps SAYING he'll marry her "someday" he gets to live a very nice lifestyle. He's smart, your friend is silly. Sooo, she'll live with the guy until she's 40, and STILL be waiting for the guy 's someday to get here.
2006-09-01 05:34:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
When he realizes he can't live without her he will marry her. I figure if a guy doesn't ask by the 2 year mark...he may never ask. If she wants to wait and risk the possibility that he really doesn't have to marry her,after all. he is getting the whole cow.. now isn't he? The saying goes" why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free"
2006-09-01 04:08:17 · answer #3 · answered by honeybee4u2c 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is scared to loose her if he tells her that he would like to wait a couple of years.. due to arrive to career goals, to spend some more time with her.., to enjoy a lot of things that once married you cannot do anymore due to kids, responsabilities, engagements.. So don't push him about when.. or how but just live the present being confidence and trustful in your love for him ...
2006-09-01 04:08:41 · answer #4 · answered by tufty2310 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because he isn't certain about when he wants to get married doesn't mean he's feeding her bull. Marriage is a serious commitment, I think it's a good sign that he wants to take his time, rather than make a decision that he isn't comfortable with. 3 years of being with someone and getting to know them, is not that long when you compare that to the life-time commitment that marriage is supposed to be.
2006-09-01 03:55:00 · answer #5 · answered by Kerry 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not because he doesn't want to marry her. It's simply because he doesn't want to marry her yet. Who knows, maybe he's more focused on his career more than anything right now. The fact that he said "someday" sounds more like he doesn't want to set a date just yet.
2006-09-01 04:06:18 · answer #6 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey he seems happy with the fact that hes living with her, havig a great realtionship,? she has to move out, he has to miss her, he comes across as intelligent , a hard worker ,and ambitious, in life u marry someone u cannot live without, not the person u can live with, so give him a chance to realise if he can live without her, let her move away from him and that will make him realise how much he needs her.
2006-09-01 03:57:48 · answer #7 · answered by haboba13 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would guess YES. He wants marriage with her. I believe he is working on his goals and once everything is in place it will happen. She knows this and Knows the goals. Don't make someone feel bad or pressure them just because she is feeling insecure.
2006-09-01 04:28:24 · answer #8 · answered by livelovelaugh 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel that this guy is serious abt ur frenz bcos when a guy allows u to meet his family,this says alot already..He wanna marry ur frenz but is nt prepared at e moment..
2006-09-01 03:52:37 · answer #9 · answered by doll_eyes_81 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nobody wud wanna rush in something..before realising his/her responsibility...
love does not feeds an empty stomach....gone r da days wen a girl wud say i'l live no matter how u keep me or how much u'l earn...
every guy wud wanna give his wife a beautiful life,,,dat maybe da same reason wid him...
he wants 2 b succesful..before he takes dis major step in his life..
if ur friend thinks..theres smethn else...den she shud talk it out wid him...den keeping it in her...cos 1 q wud lead to a million q's inside her,,,
2006-09-01 03:59:23 · answer #10 · answered by moooooooovin 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋