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15 answers

If this is something that has happened to you, I am very sorry to hear of your loss. My prayers to you and your son.

For each person is different and they grieve different the time will vary. Certainly the closer a person is to you the harder and longer the grieving process will be.

The loss of a child is the most difficult thing to have to face. It is expected that older people will die and you understand that. But when a younger person dies it doesn't make sense to us.
We will spend a lot of time questioning why it happened even before we started to grieve.

I Cannot feel the pain you are feeling only another parent that has lost a child could do that.

This is the best I can do to answer your question for you and I hope I helped you in some small way.

Jerry

2006-08-31 19:51:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

If u think a little bit differently, then it is possible. I am not talking about the "time required" immediately.
Just think, ur son had to die some years later, may be after ur death.
The benefit of that occurance would have been that, u wouldn't have to miss him. but that is what we think, about the unknown span after death.
Then, u wouldn't have known where ur son is, what he is doing, whether he misses u too or not.
What's the difference now? its the same thing happening, but the other way round.
Our relationship seems to be temporary here, but don't u think, this can be a test as well in the bigger laboratory, where we give proofs how much we want to be with someone ?
I am not talking about either science, or religion or belief, i am just talking about possiblities.
Logical possibilities.
I personally think, that it is only Logic which can make u understand things.
It is only Logic which will compell u to believe that the one who was so happy, so talkative or quiet, whatever be his nature, can't just vanish.
Physics also says that there is no such thing called vacuum.
Then ?
What is death ?
Isn't it almost like the same experience like a nightmare ?
Can't it be possible that our lives r actually & eventually and sometimes obviously a lengthy nightmare ?
The only hope is the fact that we all r blessed with mortality.
It is the only hope left for u that u too will die someday, & this unbearable pain will either be over or change into something else.
Or U'll face ur son amidst the same surroundings.
Just a logical possibility again.

2006-08-31 23:33:27 · answer #2 · answered by Pari T 1 · 0 0

May be the whole life, because it's such a tragic event that cuts a deep groove upon the victim's psyche and keeps on cutting all through the rest of the life. I can cite one example from my own experience though the situation is not like that u have mentioned.One little boy of ten lost his mother for cholera. He could not overcome the shock even now in his seventies.He is my father.

2006-09-01 05:37:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

A parent may never "overcome" that tragedy. However, it is possible to live through it. The pain will always be there (sorry) but it will ebb and flow as the years pass. Professional grief counseling helps. Good luck & GOD bless.

2006-08-31 19:53:04 · answer #4 · answered by woman of faith 5 · 0 0

It's different for everybody. My friend lost her son two years ago and is barely recovering. Some overcome their tragedy in a few years and some never do.

2006-08-31 19:47:26 · answer #5 · answered by Art The Wise 6 · 1 0

I think the first year after the death of a child a parent would experience deep, almost incapitating grief, and depending on the parent, the sadness would probably begin to be a little more managable after that. I don't think the grief and sadness will ever go away, just become more managable.

2006-08-31 19:54:28 · answer #6 · answered by 420Linda 4 · 0 0

LIFE IS ETERNAL. Your son came, lived his life here and went back, now the question is how do you take it and want to spend the rest your life? Celebrating his life or just mourning his death?

If you think of your loss it IS irreparable, so start focusing on the life that you have got now, and make the most of it, and may the memories of your son's spirit inspire you each day, make his life a reason to smile each day and live life to the fullest instead of a reason to mourn his passing away.

2006-09-03 17:45:12 · answer #7 · answered by Abhishek Joshi 5 · 0 0

Grief has it's own course - it has stages to go through - numb, pain, anger, loss, exhaustion, what ifs - each time you go through it, each stage will be less in duration and intensity, but you will go through it the rest of your life - he was your child - it will eventually take less than a second to go through all the stages, but early on it could take you days to weeks to months or years to go through the stages the first time - a lot will depend on how much support you have and the ability to truly grieve. Your process will be different from everyone elses' around you. Your husband and other children will go through the same steps but at different rates. This is a good time to go to the Library and read books pertaining to grief and the processing and to provide age appropriate books for other children. This is not going to be an easy stretch, but each time you make the lap, it will be easier and last for a less amount of time. My heart goes out to you - we just buried my friends first born - we're all still numb.

2006-08-31 19:49:54 · answer #8 · answered by dph_40 6 · 0 0

When it's your child, you're never totally 'over it.' But give it a year or so and you should be able to feel that you've gone forward in your life. I feel for you--my mom had to go through the death of her daughter after losing her husband. For me, it was very difficult--but for her and for you, I cannot fully imagine. Have faith that things will eventually improve and allow yourself to openly mourn, cry, whatever you need to do. When people say, "Be strong, don't cry," tell them to mind their business--being able to show emotion, especially appropriate emotion, is a sign of mental strength.

2006-09-04 15:00:39 · answer #9 · answered by heyrobo 6 · 0 0

You will never "overcome" a tragedy such as a death... but you can learn to COPE with it better.

2006-08-31 19:50:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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