My co-worker said some offensive things about me to another employee, who told me. Should i confront the girl?

Answer 1

You know, I was about to say drop it or no, but I think it's not a bad idea. If this person is gossiping about you or saying things that upset you, I think you have a right to talk to them about it.

Now...the WAY you do it, that's what you need to be careful about. I'm sure you're upset and angry, but don't take on an aggressive or hostile tone when talking to this person. They will be on the defensive enough, knowing that their gossip is coming back to them. Just talk to them like one person to another, letting them know you are upset over what they said.

I hope it turns out okay for you both.

Answer 2

There is trouble brewing and someone is trying to stir the trouble. Do yourself a favor, go to your HR office and tell them the problems and have them handle it. Be advised you will probably have to have a face to face with the person that may have or may not have said these things and the person who told you will also have to be involved.
If and I strongly stress if these things were actually said, I'm thinking that they were taken out of context. Try really hard not to play into this type of stuff in an office. You have enough to do to just do your job.
Women working together is rough. They say things that others just can't wait to repeat only to repeat them with another angle than it was actually meant.
Is this something that keeps happening and are the players always the same or is one player always the same. Do your homework before you play into this. Sometimes letting things play out and no response will sometimes get a quicker stop point than making a big deal out of it and making people angry that it was even said.
What would be the motive of this person saying something about you? What could they possibly have to gain, your position? I doubt, unless you are not doing your job properly? Popularity within the ranks? More than likely. What purpose did the other person have in telling you what someone else said? Was it really all that bad? Is it something that you could vision them saying another way? Think it through before you respond. Good luck, by the way I'm a HR person.

Answer 3

I think you must decide whether or not it really matters that much to you. If you contront her is it really going to make that much of a difference? Do you really care that much about what other people think or say about you? If it is something that is going to constantly bother you, than you will need a resolution. Make sure that when you confront her you do it in a way that does not offend her and bring anger. The two of you are co workers and will need to tolerate each other. If you feel that confronting her may lead to future problems, then I would recommend speaking with your boss or HR department. Also, do you trust the other employee enough to know that she is not exaggerating the incident? Good luck!

Answer 4

You could file a complaint with your HR personnel manager, that you felt harassed and offended. They may follow up and investigate, they may not. As long as it is documented, you will have covered your bases.
Where in the world are you?
Here in the states, you are protected both by the US constitution & Laws already in place with the Department of Labour under State Government and Federal guidelines. You also have civil liberites that may have been violated.
A lot of people often complain about how much they have it rough at work, but ironically it doesn't have to be as rough as it may seem at times, when you're aware of your human rights, and the laws that protect citizens against discrimination, harassment and exploitation.

You could also report her "inappropriate behaviour" to Her boss or supervisor. I'm sure they will consider what you have to say and confront the girl themselves.

You're a human being not a slave to be used and exploited.

Answer 5

If the things she is saying puts your job in jeopardy. Yes you should confront her, but you should do it in a way that is professional...You can control the things you say but be careful as to how you come at this girl, she might say things to provoke you to curse or be belligerent but keep your cool.

On second thought, what if the employee that told you your co-worker said these things is exaggerating? Do you trust this other person?

I hate drama at work don't you?

Answer 6

Yes, you should confront an evil report about you, especially if it wasn't spoken to you. This is gossip. You should consider what they have to say, though, to see if there is any truth to it. You don't have a right not to be offended, you do have the right to defend your reputation. You also have the responsibility to evaluate your behavior to correct what may be wrong or defend what is right.

http://judgeright.blogspot.com

Answer 7

yes of course.....you should talk 2 her properly not violently......you have to make things clear before all ur co workers thinks that ur the kind of person she tells them.......confront her before its too late....... Gud luck ....

Answer 8

Don't confront her. Go to your boss & let them handle it. If you confront her you will just be making trouble for yourself.

Answer 9

Talk to the HR officer first.

Answer 10

Do whatever you think will make you feel better. Just don't say anything bad - stick to facts.