long story. I'm 40, he is 46. He wants a family, so do I, but he keeps on behaving like he did in his last marriage. I have two daughters, he has one. He claims for family but he acts in a irresponsible way. If he goes out with friends, he never tells me about it, or where he is. If I call him, he gets angry, and says that is something he won't change. That is not what I want as a family, not knowing what he is doing. I'm not a kid any more, I'm not jealous, but I feel that if a man of his age wants a real family, he must be a real partner. am I wrong?
2006-08-31 17:55:45 · 24 answers · asked by Lilly A 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No. Tell him if he dosent start understanding and/or respecting your concern for him about his where abouts, & treating you with love and respect then you're gone. He needs to make sacrifices for you! You dont need that s.h.i.t. and he knows it. Stop letting him walk all over you!
good luck :)
2006-08-31 18:39:45 · answer #1 · answered by Fearfully & wonderfully made 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you aren't wrong. He's acting really immature for his age. At some point in time he was suppose to grow up and embrace family like the rest of men do. It appears to be a bad habit for this man that he is not willing to break. It ruined his first marriage, and if you stand up to him, it may ruin his second as well. I also agree with you on the partner thing. Instead of a partner, I think he married you for security. To know that he'll always have someone to come home to when he's done doing what HE wants to do. Sit him down and lay it on the line for him honey. If he's hard headed and not into listening, then give him a taste of his own medicine. Sometimes men need to put on our shoes from time to time to teach them to show a little consideration.
2006-08-31 18:04:44 · answer #2 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not at all. He is disrespecting you by not telling you where he is going. You should also know where he is just in case of an emergency. He sounds like he does not want to grow up. Sounds as though he is hiding something as well. You might want to reconsider having a family with this man.
2006-08-31 18:07:04 · answer #3 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not just right, you are 100% right. You have two daughters, Do you remember being pregnant? The first three years? You definatley need a real partner.
As for him not telling you, who he is with or where he is qoing. RED FLAG!!!! get out of the relationship.
2006-08-31 18:18:36 · answer #4 · answered by galbee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since we are only hearing your side of the story, I have to ask - are you letting him have his time with his friends or are you constantly bugging about where he and what he is doing?
At first glance it seems you are right.
However, you should both have interests outside the marriage and family to be well rounded people.
Are you allowing him that time? Or making it difficult?
2006-08-31 18:03:26 · answer #5 · answered by mrpeabody 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not wrong. it is okay for a guy to hang out with his friends (if that is what he is doing), he shouldn't be getting angry when you call him or ask where he is.
You have a right to know what he is doing and where he is.
Since he is getting angry, he obviously is doing something that is wrong, something that he is ashamed of.
Tell him either to 'fess up, or that you're going to leave him. You deserve a man that will be loyal, honest, and loving, not this scumbag.
2006-08-31 18:44:55 · answer #6 · answered by NecropolisXR 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to say, I don't think you're wrong at all. As I was reading it I was afraid you were going to suggest that he has to have your 'permission' to go out which in a way could be understandable, but you're not even asking for that. You just like to know what's going on. Who wouldn't? It sucks that he has this additude of "I won't change" because he should.
2006-08-31 17:58:59 · answer #7 · answered by Olivia B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not wrong! A man of that age that truly wants a family would put them on the top of his priority and responsibility lists.
2006-09-01 03:24:16 · answer #8 · answered by confused123 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your not wrong....He is acting like he already raised his family or that its not up to him to raise his children...this is the worse type of character to have children with...not just because he lacks parental responsibility but what do you think this does to his children...I am sure his previous wife figured out she was better off without him...since he wasn't there for them anyways...you better learn now then later that he isn't the family type.
2006-08-31 18:13:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not wrong. He is withholding and sounds selfish and controlling. He wouldn't mind telling you about all aspects of his life if he had nothing to hide. Don't expect him to change either. You have to make a decision. Accept him as he is now or move on. If I were you I would definitely move on.
2006-08-31 18:00:47 · answer #10 · answered by shar 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋