me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 years! i love him and he does too, but eveytime he gets drunk he get all crazy and calls me some VerY disrespectfull names. even when he isn't drunk sometime's he crosses the line, so when i tell him it's over he apologizes and does the nicest things ever, so anyway i'm sick of it!!! i can't just keep on taking the appologies anymore.... most people say he doesn't love me, but i know he does, my name and face is tattood on his back,,,,,,,,should i just throw it all away, what can i do????
2006-08-31 17:37:07 · 28 answers · asked by →Sasha← 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I believe you have made the choice already. You are actually asking the opinion of us to see if you have made the right decision. If a guy can call you disrespectful names when he is drunk, can you imagine what he will do to you when you get married. Since you can't take it anymore, tell him how you feel and your decision on this relationship and carry on with your life from there onwards.
2006-09-01 01:26:38 · answer #1 · answered by Forgettable 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are being abused. Maybe he doesn't hit you, but it's abuse all the same. And the thing about apologizing and doing nice things for you after? That's a common pattern in abusers. And just because he has you tattooed on him he loves you? No. He's using the gifts and apologies to keep you there. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THIS! Get out of there before it gets worse and he DOES start using his hands on you. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about here. It's only a matter of time. You deserve someone who treats you with real love and respect all the time, not just when he's afraid you're going to leave him.
2006-09-01 00:44:02 · answer #2 · answered by ReeRee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes it's not good to be together even if you do love someone. It sounds like he has an ugly side that comes out when he's drunk and shows even when he's not drunk. If you aren't prepared to deal with him being that way, then it's best to move on now. You're a pretty girl. You'll find someone who doesn't have an ugly side.
2006-09-01 00:44:53 · answer #3 · answered by James L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To leave or not to leave that is the question. First ask yourself, are you willing to endure all his nonsense if you were to continue with the relationship? If you can bear it all out of love for him, by all means get on with him. If not, just dump him and I am sure there are other more deserving men to have your attention. The problem with most women is that they will tell the world that their men are no good, they do this they do that.. but end of the day, they still wind up with the men. Come on be strong and be firm in your decision.
2006-09-01 01:58:45 · answer #4 · answered by Lawrence 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont leave him try to work it out sit down with him while he's sober and let him know hey if this is going to work and you want to be with me then you have to stop disrespecting me and calling me names. You got to let him know how you really feel no games or nothing be very serious and mean what you say. i think it's really sweet he got you tattood on him but guess what that really dont mean anything my friend got her dude name on her and they aint together and hasn't been for about 2 years so dont look at it that way. Just have a talk with him maybe over a nice dinner. Try that and let me know what's up
2006-09-01 00:43:25 · answer #5 · answered by cupcake 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
YOU DESERVE BETTER!!!! give him a time out. Stop seeing him for 3 months while in the mean time he can work on himself. If you respect yourself then he will respect you. You dont have to dump him just get on a break and find out who you are and what you realy deserve. You will have a lot more personal growth with out him. Apologies dont mean anything if the problem isnt solved. Be brave!!! You can live with out him. We women are stronger then we think. Good Luck!!!
2006-09-01 01:07:48 · answer #6 · answered by confused one 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, that's hard. He does love you I'm sure- but does that mean he's mentally all there? He sounds like he needs help. If you love him, you'll leave him and tell him to get help. You are like a crutch to him and he won't get better if you stay with him. They you'll end up like my mom who stayed with her husband even though he sexually abused me and my sister, and now we don't talk to them and they have grandchildren they will never see. She looks old now and she's still just 50, and he's a mental case. Leave him and let him change his life. If he doesn't, you'll sacrifice everything you have and you'll end up with a messed up life. Don't have any contact with him- he needs to grow up. You'll move on, and maybe one day he'll get better and you can THINK about seeing him again. But don't get locked into this for 20, 30, or 40 years. It won't get better, dear, it will just get worse. I want to wish you luck whatever you decide. Be careful.
2006-09-01 00:43:46 · answer #7 · answered by Amimai K 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds as though you should get out before he crosses over the line and hurts you really bad. It's hard when you love someone but he sounds to be out of control.
Good luck to you.
2006-09-01 00:39:49 · answer #8 · answered by Laura 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait a minute-he gets your name and face tattood on his back and that means you have to stay with him for the rest of your life? I'll be right back to answer your question, but I've got to get Brad Pitt's name and face tattood on my back! lol You don't have to stay with him for the rest of his life until you are MARRIED, and even than there are exceptions! Sorry, it sounds to me like he's a loser, even if he does do sweet things once in a while. Of course you love him, most people are going to love, in one form or another, the person that they've known and been with for that long. I hate to say this, but it sounds to me like you know you should leave, you just don't want to lose that 4 years. And I know it's hard to have invested that much time in somebody(I've been through that too, so I understand) just to throw it away for 'this one little thing', but believe me, that one little thing is major. He should not be allowed to treat you like that, but he's going to, because you're showing him that all he has to do is apologize and you'll let it slide. Even if you have a big knock down-drag out over it, he's still going to continue because it sounds like that's his personality type. Why don't you pretend for a minute that he doesn't have those tatoos and ask yourself this-If you just met him would you let him treat you like this? And do you want your daughters (when you have kids) growing up to think this is normal so when they get old enough they can get a boyfriend that treats them like this because this is what they think is acceptable because their mother accepted it? And do you want sons that think it's ok because they loved their mother and she accepts it, so it must be alright? And do you really want to be with someone who makes it a habit to get drunk enough to lose control, especially in this way? And also, a lot of people believe that when you get drunk, or drugged, you lose your inhibitions so you can truly say what's on your mind. Of course later on you can use the excuse "oh, I don't really believe that, I was just drunk" Well, bull! He really isn't good enough for you or he wouldn't do that. He's abusive and you deserve better. If you don't leave him, he is going to make the rest of your life miserable.I hate that I sound like I'm yelling or being mean, but believe me, if you don't leave him now, it's really going to suck when you think about leaving him in 10 years, upset with yourself for not doing it sooner. Or in 15 or 20 years. Or are you going to wake up one day when your old, hating yourself for wasting your life on him, and now feeling like your stuck because your too old to try and get anyone else? Let this non-caring, manipulative jerk who doesn't care worry about his own back. He's not too worried about anything of yours, including your heart if he can do this to you. I'm sorry. You're better off to leave now. And I really wouldn't give him another chance. If a lot of people are saying that he doesn't love you, just know that his actions (the way he treats you) are speaking pretty loudly. How possible is it that he now regrets that tatoo, and is taking it out on you? Don't live your life this way.
2006-09-01 01:14:39 · answer #9 · answered by ANGELa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ah sounds like the beginings of an abusive relationship.
If you dont take a stand his anger will grow and eventually he may hit you.
2006-09-01 00:40:45 · answer #10 · answered by sshazzam 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋