If you had an 18 year old daughter......?

Question

would you treat her like a child, and tell her she couldnt go outside by herself at night, or ask her where she was going everytyime she went out, to me this is unfair, but my mom is just like this

18 going on 19

Answer 1

My fiance has a 17 year old and I watch how they relate to one and other and it is super. Mom does do the parenting and sometimes her daughter gets angry, but usually gets over her anger pretty quickly as she trusts her mom's judgement. Does she have to tell her mother where she is going, most certainly. Your mom is just showing concern for her baby girl (I know your a big girl but trust me you'll always be your mom's baby). And as long as you are living under her roof then I would suggest that you abide by the directions that she has. I know it's a pain sometimes but I trust that sometime in the near future you will realize that mom is right and don't be surprised if you don't act the same when you have a daughter your age. Everyone always says that I'll never do this or that like my parents did, but guess what we usually do because that is what we are familiar with. Try talking with your mom, communication is number 1 in all relationships and maybe you two can come to some kind of comprimise. Best of luck to you and your mom.

Answer 2

I had an 18 year old daughter. We tried to tell her at an earlier age and she did not do much that we told her (I am talking about the difficult issues). At 18 she continued and finally one time I just told her to stay out, if that is what she wanted. She stayed out, but we knew it was a very bad decision made by a young woman with other problems, not just that we told her to do something. We did leave the "door open" and sure enough she came back after asking if it was OK.

So, it depends. If you are emotionally grown, not prone to look for trouble and not getting into trouble or into spots that could be trouble, then I guess your mother should give you the benefit of believing that you will take care and be as safe as it is possible these days.

If you are a young woman who stays out, God knows where untill 4 or 5 AM and cannot or won't say where to your Mom this is different. Especially if you are not emotionally mature.

In any case, you are 18 and living with your mother in her house (I presume). She does get to make the rules, right or wrong and you have to listen to do what she says. Unfortunately, that is what drives kids out of the house too early. Maybe you are living at home because you are in college or have a low paying job.

Look into your heart. If you feel you are a responsible young woman, deserving of your mother's trust and respect, then try and reason with her. Arguing is not reasoning, so if all you do is argue, that won't do any good. Actually it will make things worse.

If you do not come to an agreement, satisfactory to both of you, then you have to make a choice. Stay and obey the rules without argument is one choice. Another is to move out of your mother's home and find your own place. If you know another young woman who is mature and like yourself, maybe you can get together and rent a place.

The public library has some good books on talking to people. I believe the is one with the title, Getting to Yes. that is good.

Watch out for some people who come down to strong on one side or the other. Usually those have some ulterior motive in telling you anything.

Answer 3

She's just looking out for your best interests. I have two daughters, ages 25 and almost 21. My younger daughter still needs guidance, I think. Your mom doesn't mean any harm by her actions. She loves you and she wants nothing to happen to you. She may also be having a hard time cutting the apron strings. Even though you are all grown up in the eyes of the law, your mom is still seeing you as her little girl. Be patient with her, in time she will back off. One day when you have a child and they grow up, you will probably do the same thing.

Answer 4

I am 18 almost 19 too and my mom knew she had to stop controlling me the day I turned 18. The laws says your an adult so she should treat you like one. If your living in her house though give her the respect of knowing what time you will be home or if at all so she doesn't stay up worrying.

Answer 5

to no longer try to offend you, yet you fairly need to enable your daughter stay her very own existence. A 3 hundred and sixty 5 days or 2 3 hundred and sixty 5 days age hollow isn't a huge deal. Its while there's a 17 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous and a 40 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous once you could desire to stress! How do you realize he's a 'solid for no longer something boy'. a minimum of he's going to varsity and attempting to get himself an training in contrast to 3 people who take a seat around all day residing off reward. supply him a raffle and stop being so judgmental.

Answer 6

Whether it's fair or unfair, you need to abide by her rules as long as you are living in her home and she is paying the bills (even when you are 18). When you are on your own, you can do whatever you want--within reason. If she didn't love you or care about you, she wouldn't have any rules. Other teenagers are not so lucky to have parents like that.

Answer 7

still living at home?? hmm mom's house mom's rules.. My mom always asked me where I was going even at the age of 21, they care about you, you either deal with it. or get out on your own, which by the way is not all that great at such a young age, moved out when I was 18 and it was the best for a while, way too much responsiblity for me, went back home and became friends with my mom, did not mind her asking me the questions.. Open up and share your life with her, if you are an adult act like one, and you shall be treated like one..

Answer 8

Well I will let her to go on trips with friends. But I (and of course my wife) will not let her to stay out nights. But that depends on the situation. Anyway I will not treat her as a child. Cos 18 yrs is far from childhood.

Answer 9

You think it is unfair for your mother to know where you are at 18? Move out. Pay your own bills and be grown for real.

She's responsible for you and she obviously cares. Show her you can be trusted with little things you do and perhaps things will change, otherwise start with the first sentence.

Answer 10

Well if my daughter still lived with me, she would still need to tell me where she was going so I wouldn't worry. If she didn't like it then she would probably have to get a job and move out. Sometime you have to put up with the junk so that you can get your education and a good paying job so you can do the same thing to your own children one day. Even though you say you never will.