What would motivate a Japanese family to leave their country and choose to live in USA?

Question

I'd like to think of myself as intelligent when it comes to Japan, but this is one of those burning questions, and I must admit I am naive in specific culture background. My friend told me at a Hibachi-style restaurant, his Japanese chef told him that he has lived in America for 13 years. He said he (and his family) moved to the US because they didn't like Japan. He didn't ask why, so now I am left wondering.

My question is what would motivate a Japanese person to move to the USA, basically in hatred of their own country? I am asking for some possible reasons for this kind of move. I am also seeking deep answers, because I am sure that the reasons behind such a move contain a lot of depth. I love Japan, and would consider living there. But my 13 day-trip can't be a deciding factor for me because that's hardly even scratching the surface of Japanese life. There's got to be more to it; something more that I can't understand. I look forward to your responses on this question!

I actually ran out of room in the details to add this point that somebody brought up-I am not asking for a specific answer to this guy's case. And I don't want you guys to focus the answer on the fact that he's a chef. Like the actual question states, why would any Japanese family want to leave Japan? I expect all answers to be speculation (for this specific case) but there should be a few strong points about Japanese culture that would motivate somebody to move away.

Answer 1

I think a lot of it is the mythical 'American dream'...!! Even Mexicans think life will be better in America - and they're discriminated against like there's no tomorrow..!

Remember, people of ALL nationalities get dissatisfied with their life, and it's easy to assume that life would be better in a different country, with different values, maybe different morals ... but normally, when you get there, you find that things aren't SO different from back home! The same irritations, nothing's as wonderful as you expected it to be ... if you didn't fit in 'back home', whether that's Japan, America, Britain, China, etc., you probably won't 'fit in' anywhere else either. Generally, when you move to a different country you find that it's just as bad as your own, and just as good...!
; ) Maybe just in a different way, that's all!

As for why he might hate Japan so much ... my Japanese husband says it's probably because Japanese life is 'regulated' to a certain extent. You have your family, then your second 'family' is your company and you are expected to be totally loyal to them, likewise with your third 'family' - your town, and your fourth family - Japan! People work such excruciating hours because they don't want to be first to leave the building ... that would mean they aren't as loyal as the next man!! They often don't actually get a lot of work done though - they spend half their day yapping to each other, so they need the evening to get the day's work finished!!! (That's what many people say, anyway...!!)
; )

If the chef didn't feel that he 'fit in' with the Japanese lifestyle, he WOULD want to emigrate - to somewhere he could live in his own way. The Japanese way of life suits most Japanese people well - you don't have to make your own decisions unless you want to after you've got a job, because you just 'follow the herd'. But anyone who has a streak of individualism will feel constricted and shunned - not that he IS being shunned, but maybe he just feels that way because he can't talk to others about the 'usual' things!

If he actually returns to Japan after years living in America though, he'll find that his 'differences' are accepted because people will feel that he picked up his odd behaviour while he was abroad!

Of course, it might not be anything like this that caused him to leave Japan. Maybe he couldn't make the grade in chef school, and as foreign countries will take anyone with a bit of experience as a chef, instead of insisting on qualifications, he decided to leave! Or maybe he committed a crime, and his wife was the only person in town who forgave him? That would make him want to leave too!! There could be any number of reasons for him to hate Japan - some of them because of Japan, some of them because of HIM (or his wife ...?) so anything you get on here is pure speculation - please treat it as such!

Answer 2

It depends. And the answer is not that simple. But I can understand the cook.

I love Japan. I like the Japanese culture, foods, history, and the convenience.
There are many beautiful places in Japan. Okinawa islands are incomparable.
But, I do NOT like the systems ruling Japan. Japanese emphasize harmony among people, colleagues and friends in school. Some time they choke their feeling back in the group.
There are a proverbial phrase "A tall tree catches much wind." in Japan.
They have a tendency not to destroy the group's harmony (to the surface).

For most Japanese, it is alright, people accepts and follows it. However, not all the Japanese are the same.　For the individualists and independently-minded persons, Japan's rule and system haven't fitted much.
Bank haven't believed and lent money to the self-employed individuals, artists and even business entrepreneurs.

I don't know much about US, the mainland America don't fascinate me(excluding Hawaii). But, when I was young, I was often thinking to get out of Japan and move to somewhere of different culture, such as UK, Australia, Singapore, Hongkong, etc.
13 years ago was the time before Internet environment spreaded in Japan. Maybe that cook had felt some uncomfortable about the strict rules in Japan.

But I think, with the IT environment, the situation have changed very much today.
Those independently-minded persons can be independent from the time-honored custom.
And the financial markets tend to welcome business entrepreneurs (not enough though).

Anyway, what we have to remember is that Japan is "mono-cultural" and "homogeneous" nation.
It is very different from the multi-cultural nations, such as US, Australia, and Europe.
Today I noticed something. On TV news, it was reporting there are many foreign students who want to work in Japan after their graduation.
And some of expats, they were trying to join Japanese local communities. And believe it or not, some seem they don't care to lose their individuality, specially the foreigners who effort being a member of small villages.
And even in the urban area, there are people who prefer eating Japanese foods, wearing Yukata at home always, singing an Enka song, going to Izakaya often....
I wonder why they wanna behave like Japanese.

Answer 3

Without knowing if the person in question really "hates" Japan or just prefers life in US I can't tell you much. Just because a Japanese man uses the word "kerai" doesn't necessarily mean his feelings are all that strong. It may just be that this guy can't be bothered to explain the perhaps complex reasons he relocated so he just gives a glib, "Nippon kerai kara" as an answer.

I'm Canadian but I lived for about ten years in Japan. I got tired explaining why that was so I usually just told folks I hate Canadian winters or whatever. I love Canada though, even when it's cold. So I understand how a misunderstanding like that could take place.

If the guy really does hate Japan, my guess is he's an individualist who doesn't like Japanese social rigidity-it's hard on the head to be polite all the time, or the whole, "the nail that sticks up gets hammered down" bit.