on a dating website?
I havent handled it too well.. lots of denial and argueing - would like some outside opinions..
we have been 2gether nearly 3yrs.
2006-08-31 14:55:04 · 28 answers · asked by Quasi 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
the denial is on her part.. the argueing is mine.. the pics are bottom and top --no face.. but i still find it EXTREMELY disrespectful at the very least.
2006-08-31 14:57:23 · update #1
the big deal is that we live together and her body isnt for everyone to see.. we do not have an open relationship, she is very aware of the fact that i am jealous and i firm believer in exclusive rights. Once again its about respect. She now admits she did it and her reasoning is "because i wanted to thats why i posted the pics"
How i came to find out that they were posted is due to a friend telling me about the site to check out THEIR profile ect..not for my pleasure- n the process i told my mate that i saw a relative of hers posting.. I would have never imagined that she would post as well or continuously lie about it -- like i dont know what her body looks like or what our house looks like (as u can see the background). I dont see how anyone who is in a committed relationship would NOT have a problem with this. As i told her.. if she has lied about this - whatelse has there been lying about.
2006-09-01 06:49:44 · update #2
whoa!
what a way to find out there's trouble in paradise!
i think this is a deal-breaker---time to move on, by posting pics of her body on a dating website, she's advertising.
if you don't break it off--the NEXT argument the two of you will be having will be if it's OK for her to answer the responses to her ad! she'll be saying the people who responded are just 'friends' and you will be livid.
i just can't see this getting any better.
2006-09-08 13:45:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd better not ever find any nude pictures of my husband on the Internet without knowing about it beforehand! Even then, he's got to come up with a really good reason to do it! We have taken some tasteful, artistic nudes that are suitable for publication, but anything other than those, anything overtly sexual, is out of the question.
You point out two problems: 1) Naughty pictures of your girlfriend on the Internet, and 2) the pictures are posted on a dating web site.
If you are in a committed relationship then she should not have posted the photos of herself on the Internet without prior discussion and mutual agreement. You're right - it's about respect. Two people cannot have a sound relationship if they cannot openly discuss what the boundaries and expectations are. Your girlfriend may feel she has exclusive control of her body, which would be her right, but something like that should be discussed as one of the parameters of the relationship.
The pictures were posted on a dating web site. If the two of you have discussed and agreed upon the exclusivity of your relationship then she has crossed the line. Some people just like to flirt, but for her to have done this behind your back is certainly reasonable justification for you to have trust issues and suspect something more may be going on.
Good luck.
2006-09-07 04:47:53 · answer #2 · answered by Speedo Inspector 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello! Dating website? You've been together how long? And you live together? In some states you are considered to be married and you could sue for divorce. So now that the seriousness of your committment has been established let's get back to the fact that your sigificant other is on a dating site. There is only one reason to be on a dating site and that is to find a date. And the pictures she posted are of her nude body. So she's not looking for someone who respects her for her mind and she's not looking for friends. She's looking for sex outside of your relationship. This would be death to any realtionship I was in. I would be devastated. Personally I have zero tolerance for cheaters and liars. It speaks volumes about a persons character, morales and values. It is such a flagrant slap in the face to the intimate bond of trust between you that it just screams "F**k you. I don't care about you. You're feelings are not important. You are not important to me. This realtionship is of little or no value to me". This didn't happen over night. There had to be clues. Maybe you missed them or maybe you chose to ignore them because it was too painful for you to face. It's too late for whys and wherefores. There is no justification for her behavior. Love without respect is not love at all. You can try to hold on to this realtionship or you ca salvage what is left of your self respect and move on. She will probably string you along as long as you let her but she has already left you. She has chosen not to be exclusively yours any longer. Whatever happened to truth, honesty and loyalty?
2006-09-08 14:50:47 · answer #3 · answered by Paisley T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't blame u 4 being pissed. Especially if this is not an open relationship. Knowing me, she will out on the other side the door. If u find it hard 2 depart, bug your phone 4 a month that should help u decide. But then here we go with trust. If u feel that u cant trust her, well u know what 2 do.
2006-09-06 15:34:24 · answer #4 · answered by Tru 2 Myself 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, it sounds like you two are drifting apart, 3 years is a while, but not a long time, maybe you two need some time apart. Maybe that will bring you both back together, maybe you need space. I broke up with my gf after 6 years because she cheated on me with another girl, that was back in the '90's, but we are great friends now. She is with someone else. We never got back together, she has been with her partner now for about 10 years and I always wish her well. She is a great person, it's just that we were not meant to be together.
2006-09-03 07:49:29 · answer #5 · answered by spiritcavegrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be very pissed, and I would confront her about it right away. If she denied it, I would show her the proof, and see what she said after that. One of my ex's (when I thought I was straight) had nude pics on some website, and when I confronted him about it, he told me that they were when he first moved to va and he was single. I forgave him, because I saw the date on the profile, and the last time it was updated was way before we got together, and he deleted the pics and profile as soon as I confronted him about it.
2006-08-31 15:17:55 · answer #6 · answered by Agent Double EL 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Considering the whole story you told, I would say leave. It IS all about respect. She showed none for you and, I might add, little for the feelings involved. She told you she only did it b/c she wanted to. Well, what will she want to do next?
As one already posted here; walk away chum, she did!
2006-09-06 04:01:14 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your the jealous type and you seem to be then just tell her it hurts your feelings that she has done this. I wouldn't care. She comes home to you every day doesn't she. What were you doing on a dating site any way?
2006-09-01 05:05:00 · answer #8 · answered by Q~T 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't treat her body as your property, like you do with your car. May be you're miser with words to appreciate her body that she has to seek other avenues to show her prize. Don't make it a big deal, just handle her the way she won't feel like going away 'to others for her satisfaction'.
2006-08-31 15:35:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i was curious how you came across the pictures.... What were you doing looking at pictures of naked women? If you are sure it's her and she volunteered the pictures, then, it's time to pack up and hit the road. She wanted something that she wasn't getting at home.
(FYI: If she didn't volunteer those pictures she needs to contact someone legally.)
How would I handle it? I'd be out the front door ASAP or kicking her out..
2006-09-04 19:59:15 · answer #10 · answered by reme_1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋