I need help please?

Question

I need help i need to learn to let things go and i dont know how to do it if my wife or anybody does something that i dont agree with it just eats me up inside until i get mad i have to learn to forget things that bother me also i have a jealosy issue my wife spends more time with a guy friend then she does with me i dont see her much with work seperate shifts and this guy works with her he spends every break with her and even comes over to the house about once a week she swears they are just friends i want to believe her but it just keeps racking my mind i need help getting it out of my mind someone help please

Answer 1

Not only do you get worked up, you lose your ability to punctuate! You are probably justified in your concern over this work friend. I would have my doubts too. That doesn't mean she's cheating, but you're not wrong to feel that way. Maybe you just don't need to be enraged about it. Maybe she finds this guy easier to hang out with because he isn't high strung and she doesn't have to worry about what she says or does with him.

Above all else, you need to remember that there are so many things in our lives that we cannot control. Remember that ultimately there is nothing so bad that would happen with this small stuff that you could not live through. I would recommend you seek some help for coping mechanisms. Stress is hazardous to your health, and will take its toll over time.

Answer 2

Consider anger management classes to help you get over things without getting your insides eaten up. Stress in any form is not healthy.

We have to learn to trust but explain to your wife, she's making it very difficult for you trust her with such an exclusive relationship with a co-worker. Ask her to consider your feelings as well as if she had to her own if the shoe were on the other foot and you had a close relationship with a female co-worker.

Explain to her you want to spend as much time together as you can since your work schedules are so different. Consider taking her out to a movie, a dinner, or just shopping the mall to be able to spend the time you both have together.

Answer 3

First of all, both of these problems are normal and have some simple solutions. There are two common techniques to dealing with your first problem. First, talk to whoever is caused your strife in a calm and adult manner. This is an exceptionally good technique, but can also cause problems. And second, merely find an area in which no intelligent life can hear you, and yell at those friends in your life that have made mistakes. The second technique, however, only works if you are holding on to the anger associated with those mistakes.
And as for you second problem, merely attempt one of the two techniques listed above, but above all else, DO NOT follow this man around; a mind in strife creates answers to imaginary problems, whereas a calm mind will see things as they really are.
But don't worry: if she really was cheating on you, would she bring her lover to your house very often?

Answer 4

She should not be hanging out with another guy when you are not around. You can't control the work situation - let that go b/c she's at work. The house...I don't think so. You could say - hey I am going to have coffee with "jane" a girl I work with - I will be home a little bit later. She how she reacts - if she gets mad then you can tell her that's how you feel. If she doesn't she is either really laid back or totally doesn't care b/c she thinks she will be with her main. Heck, call cheaters and let them see if she is cheating. I think she is!

Answer 5

She should put your mind at ease by not seeing this guy so much. In fact she has no right to bring him to your house when you are not around or not. How would she feel if it's the other way around? Put herself in your shoes.

Put your foot down and tell her not to have him over ever. Threaten divorce.

Answer 6

I am a wife and I would NEVER hang out with another guy at our home without my husband there. You have every right to feel the way you feel. She is not respecting you. It makes me sick to my stomach to think about the way she treats her husband.

Good luck!

Answer 7

I'm the same way and I have found one thing that helps is to write down your feelings because then you have sometime to work them out and let off a little steam.

Answer 8

Dude, you have a hangup. Something may've happened when you were younger, perhaps in your teens, that whenever something similar occurs you cannot deal with it, you revert back to your teenage self. Therapy is one way. I'd trust your wife if she says she's kool and stuff . . . Therapy, just talk it out like you did her, they can help you tremendously.

Answer 9

Please consider therapy. I don't mean to be critical but you're describing an emotional state that is unhealthy and you could use some professional support. If your wife is willing, try couples counseling but either way get some counseling for yourself.

Answer 10

why don't you find out next time he comes over & take off work & sneak home to see what is going on then.