Is my mom jealous of my dad?

Question

Ever since I was young me and my sister have always gotten certain comments about her that have always had to do with me and my sis favoring him. Anywho...

There's always situations where my mom won't do certain things for me that she needs to and when my dad steps up to the plate (he lives with me) and does it for me she waits until he leaves or goes in another room and just gets furious. She claims that I am "telling on her" and I like to start drama and make her seem like the bad person. No controversy at all before these things happen, if my mother doesn't give me an answer or do something that needs to be done I just go ask my father, no complaining, ranting to him or anything. Usually he volunteers. Still, she gets pissed off to the point where she is breaking things. She then argues with him. There have been numerous situations like these.

She says stuff like "I'm always the bad guy, I don't know why you think your dad is good guy he's not an angel" Just at random times.
I show my mother love and hug her more than I do my dad. I don't know what is going on. He was in charge of the choice of my car I guess and my mother also was with him when he picked it. Well, my dad said he thought I deserved I thanked him and my mother but told my father that it's good that he appreciates my hard work. I didn't tell my mother anything because she sat there and complained on why I shouldn't have got the kind of car [bmw] I got and I deserved a bucket. I am a really good kid, I don't do anything. I make good grades so I don't know where the comments are coming from. Anyways, she always seems to get mad when my father steps up and does something she doesn't want to do like take us to the doctor, and she gets extremeley pissed.

oh no, my mom and my dad are still married.

but he has done his dirt, but that doesn't have anything to with how he is treating his kids because he is a very loving and caring father, i love and appreciate him so much.

Answer 1

Your mother is very insecure, which stems from fear, and fear causes anger. She then acts like a spoiled child that throws temper tantrums. The question thus is, what is she afraid of?

Perhaps you request and/or expect so much more from her, than you do your dad. Thus when she draws the line, and you go to him and he does it, because so much less is asked and/or expected of him, she fears losing your love, and acts in a jealous fashion. This makes her feel even more insecure; a feeling she doesn't like to feel, and blames you and/or your dad for those feelings, because she doesn't realize the true source of her feelings.

Answer 2

Well, you said your dad lives with you, so does that possibly mean that your parents are separated? If they are, I'm thinking maybe she is still holding a grudge against him for whatever reason they got separated in the first place. And maybe she is taking her frustration out on you and your sister. It is also possible that she is suffering from chronic depression. Be well. Blessings on you and your family.