I haven't dated for 12 years. I now have 2 children, 10 & 12, who I spend all my free time with. I feel guilty whenever they don't have my full attention, so how do I go about dating/going out? Where should I go? Furthermore, I have such stringent requirements in my mind for whoever I might possibly have a relationship with - my children will be priority one 100% of the time. I realize they will be teens soon and I will no longer be the "perfect awesome daddy" on their pedestal. I DREAD the teenage years and feel like this will require more of my time. How do I do it? Is my reasoning a bit askew? Am I overcompensating? I'm beginning to feel the ambivalence of the sense of fulfillment when I'm with them, versus the feeling of emptiness without an intimate relationship. Is there a woman out there willing to put up with my baggage? Help me!!!
2006-08-31 12:29:40 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You need to make time for yourself and stop feeling guilty. A happy dad is a better dad, now go get laid!
2006-08-31 12:34:01 · answer #1 · answered by neelyohara2004 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's scary getting out into the dating world again. I was married 23 years, have been divorced for 7. I signed up with Yahoo Personals a few months ago to find men with similar outlooks. I am VERY picky about the man I want to be in my life & I believe there's somebody out there for you who has just as much concern for her children as you do. My take on things might be a little different than yours but I'm willing to live single the rest of my days rather than "settle" just to have a man. Stick with your requirements!
I was very fortunate. My daughter gave me very little heartache during the teen years. (Probably because her dad was busy giving us both a bad time-we were allies!) I enjoyed watching her grow up to be a wonderful young lady with her own mind.
Work on being your own best friend. Children are fulfilling but you need time to yourself too. I wish you all the best and maybe when you least expect it that special lady will come waltzing into your life.
2006-08-31 17:06:36 · answer #2 · answered by girlfriend 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im sure there are alot of women out there with the same problem and as for the whole guilt free dating there is no such thing ur always gonna feel guily about that but if u don't go out and take a chance then u will never find her. Think about it when u go out and find her the kids will have someone else who will spend more time with them.
2006-08-31 12:41:14 · answer #3 · answered by Sexybups 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes there are real women out there who will take on your children!!!! im a single mom of a 13 yr old son and until 2 years ago i was filled with guilt to if i didnt anything at all without him. But there comes a time when you need time for yourself and you deserve to be with someone who makes you happy. I met the man of my dreams almost 2 yrs ago,,,at first my son didnt like it at all and hated him,,,but now they are really cool together. Im sure your kids will give you a problem in the beggining if you meet someone but they will grow fond of that person as long as you choose the right woman.You have to live your life too....for your own sanity. You deserve happiness too with another female adult....keep up the great job you are doing,,,u sound like a great dad!!!!
2006-08-31 12:37:09 · answer #4 · answered by michelle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your overcompensating, You have to find a balance between your needs and the needs of your children. You wont be able to be with them 24/7 forever, just let them know your there for them, and go find yourself some passion in your life...The biggest thing you are going to have to deal with is regret. So go out and if you feel empty, look for someone to share your life again.
2006-08-31 12:35:58 · answer #5 · answered by zeakster01 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is important to care for your children yes, but you also need to take care of yourself. Socializing with other adults outside of work is part of that, your children will soon adapt to the realization that daddy needs time for himself also. This will make you a happier and more rounded person.
The payoff is worth the temporary growing pains of change.
good luck
2006-08-31 12:35:27 · answer #6 · answered by leslieguelker0517 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What an marvelous worldwide. The elders ( uncles etc) have not given the main appropriate to "intervene" the lives of their close kin. And that father who divorced his spouse and left his infants have the "precise". And particular u at the instant are not an previous female u r in simple terms 40 3 so take command of ur infants and take a inspect to regulate all ur issues interior of u and ur infants (in accordance to ur regulation) and remember that one dayur infants will "sense interference" of u of their lives. Ur brother is being concerned and loving yet he might desire to bypass in accordance to regulation and not his emotions for u and ur infants.
2016-11-23 16:46:40 · answer #7 · answered by weyhrauch 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just go out when your kids are asleep.
2006-08-31 12:32:05 · answer #8 · answered by joe_smo_red 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
just do it man and wat will be will be
2006-08-31 12:33:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋