Iam an Indian women,married few months back,but loved women?How to find peace with life?

Question

I was in love with a women and was very happy in that relationship .Being an Indian and considering the after effects of this relationship in an Indian community, i decided to go ahead with a marriage. with this guy who is naive but loves his parents and sister more than himself.I cant find any happiness in this relationship,he is not good at sexual relation and we are just living like room mates. My love is today 6000miles away from me.I miss her day& night. I hinted about her to my husband, but couldnt tell him that we had physical relationship with each other.I am a professional, i do value culture,but love just happened so unexpected and that too with her. She is also preparing to get married. I know i cant live without her.But i am married and my husband didnt want to go for a divorce as my proposal was the only one which worked out for him. I become weak when i think about my parents(they've high reputation in the society).I talk to her often,can we be ever together?Please advice

Answer 1

have her come live with you and your hubby

Answer 2

sometimes you have to follow your heart rather than your head. Do you want to wake up every day with regret and wondering what would have happenend if you had taken a chance? Life is way to short to not take chances sometimes. Although, most people feel that this relationship is wrong, you can't deny how you feel. You have to live your life the way you see fit. No one can make the choices for us. If you are in a gay relationship what does it matter if you husband grants you the divorce, you can't marry legally any way in most places. How does this other woman feel? Does she have the same feelings? Have you talked to her? If your family disowns you because of the relationship, could you live with it? These are the questions you need to ask yourself. Have you talked to other gays to get their opinion? I'm not gay but, these are the questions that I would be asking if I was in your situation. There are many things to consider and I don't think there is an easy solution. Good luck to you!

Answer 3

Coming from an indian background myself, I understand where your concerns lie. It's not so easy being in such a situation.
You could do what mighty said, that'll make things a little easier for you. As far as your concerns about your parents and your social status or your lover, that's for you to decide which is more important to you. You could live your whole life miserable and away from your true love and make your family happy. or you could do what your heart tells you and live a happy life.
Start with being honest, with yourself.

Answer 4

Your path to peace will be found based on the specifics of your situation. If it is safe to talk honestly with your husband about your feelings for him and for women, then you may be able to achieve a deeper understanding, tolerance, and even love and passion within your marriage. Your husband may not want to live as room-mates either, but as a deeply loving couple. It sounds like it may be worth a try, since it would be the least disruptive for your families and career. You can always cultivate loving relationships with woman friends, including your girlfriend who is so far away and soon to marry, that may be enough to satisfy that longing.

But, if you cannot find love in your marriage, and you truly believe that love will only be found with your girlfriend or another woman, I encourage you to find a safe way to live the way you want to live. That may mean alienating your family, leaving your culture for a more welcoming one, and losing your marriage.

Either way, I think you owe it to yourself and to your husband to make the marriage work if you can, or leave the marriage if you cannot stay in it and find happiness. Please be careful, take safe steps, and reach out to resources that can help advise and support you. I will be praying for your life full of love and peace.

Answer 5

Don't have a life full of regrets you will wake up one day in 20 or 30 years and be miserable, whats meant to be will be... Just curious was your marriage an arranged marriage??

Answer 6

I think I would stayed married, but stay in touch with the girl. Keeping your relationship a secret from everyone. As far as your marriage; love takes time to grow. Your parents will never understand you if you follow your heart. You have to make the best out of this situation as it is.

Answer 7

my sister~ so many suffer this form of sin you are bound by. Homosexuality is nothing different that any other sin; lying, cheating, gambling..its all sin to God. I encourage you to seek the Lord. He will give you the strength to not only turn from this iniquity, but to find a love for your husband that you never knew. The world has made people to think that being gay is ok because "you were just born this way" but I tell you..we are all born with some sort of lust on us..that is why we must be Born Again, amen? I pray these words get deep in your spirit...

God Bless you and keep you...

Answer 8

i see what you are saying. Being an indian, i bet you would loose everything if you go after your women. In this life, all that matters is friends and family, if you loose them there is no life. So i would suggest you forget your lover and start loving your husband so that he will sart giving you importance than his family..

Answer 9

Sounds like you have a lot to loose no matter what you decide... but the bottom line is that you are living a lie... Only you can make it right!

Answer 10

being in a loveless marriage isn't good for you, your husband or your families. do not worry about what your parents think. they do not have to live with the consequences of what you choose. do for you. everything will fall into place. the world will not end if you do what makes you happy. the world will not end if your family disapproves of your choice. they can either accept it or not. be strong. you are obviously an intelligent woman.go where you heart tells you to go and do what you feel you need to do.

Answer 11

Bring her to live with you as your husbands second wife. He won't know the damn difference and you two can be together. Don't tell anyone cus its illegal.