I meet these guys at a gay bar last night and I was told that one of them really digged me so I was all flattered and but he wasn't really my type, I just said he was cute too to return the compliment. Anyway, I ended up getting a.ss drunk and this guy started to flirt with me. He kissed me quite a few times and held my hand a lot and I just kind of went along because I wasn't "all there". He was tipsy but not really drunk like I was. They ended up driving me to their apartment and chilling for the rest of the night. After a while, I began to sober up and realized more fully what had happened. I talked to him for a long time last night and told him I thought he was cute but that I wasn't ready for a relationship, but he kept saying "Let's take a chance and see where it goes". He keeps calling me today wanting to talk but I'm totally disgusted now. I'm not one to hurt people's feelings and if I led him on, I'd feel terrible, but I was really drunk and felt like he kind of took...cntd...
2006-08-31 11:56:15 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
took advantage of me while I wasn't thinking clearly. What should I do? I'd like to be his friend, but he's one of those persistent types who says what's on his mind nonstop. I'm really feeling uncomfortable about this... Any ideas?
2006-08-31 11:56:28 · update #1
Honey, being a nice guy is all well and good, but there are times when you need to do an immitation of Cruela DeVile. If he continues to be persistant be honest with him. Tell him that you are not interested in a relationship because he is not your type. Tell him you don't have any feelings for him and that you are unlikely to have those feelings for him at any point in the future. Tell him that friendship is ALL that you can offer and if he wants more than that then it is better if you don't talk to each other again.
Tell him you've just come out of a bad relationship and need more time before even thinking of starting something new. Tell him your dog just died and that your to emotional to go out with someone that reminds you of him (ok maybe not that one). The whole key is to be firm and stand your ground on what YOU want. It can be hard to do, but you won't regret it.
2006-08-31 12:08:02 · answer #1 · answered by God 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be firm and tell him you want to be single for a while, and tell him that doesn't mean you guys have a chance, just basically set some rules for your friendship and tell him you really need to work on you. Tell him you can't care about someone else until you care about yourself, that always works. Or you can say that you can already tell you guys both want different things in life and he can accept that and be friends and hang out once in a while in a group so you don't end up doing something you will regret or you guys can just go separate ways and not talk at all. But be firm with him from the start!
2006-08-31 12:18:40 · answer #2 · answered by DispatchGirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop taking his calls. Don't return them all, and when you do, just be direct. "You're a nice guy, but I'm really not interested in pursuing anything with you, I have someone else in mind." Even is the someone else is somebody you haven't met yet, this is real. But you have to mean it.
And by the way, being drunk is no excuse. If you can't keep your pants on when you drink, you're drinking too much.
2006-08-31 15:00:31 · answer #3 · answered by michael941260 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just met this dude the other night. Consider it a one night stand and ignore the calls. The only thing that would be worse is if you keep leading him on to make him think that he has a chance. THAT would be bad and would really hurt his feelings in the end. I am sure he will get over it,and if you don't answer his calls, he will figure it out.
2006-08-31 12:59:37 · answer #4 · answered by communals 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
call him back and tell him what you just told us. Calmly and clearly, tell him something deliberately and politely vague to describe the situation, cliché and therapy speak...."I wasn't in my right mind..."
Compliment him, but if he presses you, tell him that you weren't in your right mind etc etc. Vague politeness is the way to go, sprinkling it with small compliments. But be firm if you have to
"Dear Bob, I had a lovely night with you but I've just come through a bad relationship and I'm not ready. It's not you, it's me." Take the blame on yourself, that way he has less manuevering room. Be vaguely polite, then firm, then hang up. If he is a man worth keeping, he will understand. If he is whiny, dump the number, screen the calls, and move on.
2006-08-31 12:05:53 · answer #5 · answered by Mr. Fancy Pants 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who cares!! You're putting too much thought into this. You don't even know the person. Just say you know you're not my type and move on. Or lets be friends and then screen his calls. You're being too nice. Do you wanna lower your standards or higher them? Stick up for yourself and go for someone you're stoked on. Don't settle because he's pathetic. So what if you made out. You're not married. People have done a lot more and not even known the other person's name.
2006-08-31 12:01:40 · answer #6 · answered by ☆miss☆ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember this, because you remind me of myself in so many situations sober or not! You don't have to explain yourself. Being attractive to a stranger is no need for that recipient to change or flip over backwards. Besides, anyone worth dating wants someone who equally is attractive, respects, and love or cares for them. Lopsided relationships don't, and will not work. Hold your head up high and walk away. If he has called you too many times on the next day; it sounds like he has a stalker complex. Run!!!!!!!
2006-08-31 13:01:57 · answer #7 · answered by Swordfish 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude I'm strait but have been exactly where you are a couple times lol. I hate hurting peoples feelings but if you tell him how you feel and he doesn't respect that by ignoring your needs he wouldn't make a good friend much less a lover etc. lose him or you'll be very unhappy.
2006-08-31 12:03:23 · answer #8 · answered by bcrawford1980 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about hurting his feelings, cause really there isn't a way too tell him ur just not into him. But do it as nicely as you can and don't feel bad cause its not ur fault he isn't ur type. You could ignore him and he will get the hint but you should be a man about it. Just think about what you going to say so it will go over better.
Joshy
2006-08-31 19:27:36 · answer #9 · answered by subarubatmanboy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you would love to be friends but a relationship is moving way too fast right now for two people who just met. You two need toget to know each other first as friends.
2006-08-31 12:16:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋