My oldest daughter just turned 3, yess the terrible 3's. and latley she has been getting into everything and i mean everything, especially if she knows shes not allowed to. ive tried reward systems, loss of TV, time outs. nothing works. what is the best way to spank a child enough to make her remeber, but not enough to leave a mark or acually hurt hurt her?
2006-08-31 11:49:18 · 33 answers · asked by googly_eyes 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
these answers are really helpful thanks. but i just want all of u to know i would never do more than 2 or 3 swats and noting to ever abuse her. just enough to get my point across and know that i mean business when i say no.
2006-08-31 11:53:01 · update #1
An open handed swat on the heiny ought to do the trick. It worked on me... When I got older that "open handed" evolved into a leather belt...and let me tell you when that belt came out I knew I was in deep s h i t ...
People are so "fragile Minded" when it comes to dicipline now a days...that's why theres a bunch of misbehaved disrespectful screaming brats running around everywhere... Spanking is a good thing...don't feel bad about doing it. A monkey could understand the difference between "abuse" and a "spanking"...I don't get why some people apparently can't
2006-08-31 11:54:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
There seems to be a lot more child abuse nowadays than there used to be but less respect and discipline. I grew up being spanked when I misbehaved and learned the difference between right and wrong quite simply. Sadly, children, especially young ones, don't understand logic so reasoning with them isn't effective. It is often the principle of being spanked and the context in which it happens, an angry face and stern tone, that hurt the child and make the greatest impression. Teaching children the result of their actions is difficult but once it is consistently applied it has great rewards. Showing the child a happy face when you are happy and a disappointed or upset face at the right time helps the child understand simply the consequence of its actions. But, I think it works best in conjunction with the TOKEN smack. Good luck. B well.
2006-08-31 12:26:59 · answer #2 · answered by Karl X 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Listen, you are a parent and KNOW that little kids brains aren't wired all the way. They do not understand reason and logic, they do how ever understand pain.
Now of course your not going to beat the hell out of them, just the simple act of striking them is enough to get them to pay attention. A couple a wraps to the butt with an open hand is all it takes.
DO NOT yell at them when you are doing it. Tell them what you are going to do and why. Keep your cool and just go through the motions with out getting to emotional cause it will be tough for you to. Then let them sit there and cry, tell them to think about it and don't run to comfort them. There will be plenty of time to do that AFTER they stop crying. Don't spank out of anger, think it through and make sure it is deserved. If they are off in the corner making noise while you are on the phone...well too bad for you. If they are abusing the pets, writing on the wall or smashing plates or glasses then by all means spank away!
Just remember, in the day and age where spanking is thought of as taboo...Look at how the kids have turned out. Drugs, violence, pregnancy...Now think of back to the 50s when every one got spanked. You had "Yes sir, yes mam" Surely never "Hey mom F* you!!!"
Take back the control, and spank when needed. No matter what these bleeding heart fools tell you. Just be smart about it.
2006-08-31 12:03:20 · answer #3 · answered by joe b 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Hitting a child, no matter how gentle it is, is teaching her that hitting is a solution to a problem. When she starts hitting back (and she WILL), you will have only yourself to blame and a whole other problem to deal with. DISTRACTION is always the key! They are "busy bodies" these little ones and will be curious forever. Lock up the things she is not suppose to touch. Put away the things on your tables, etc., it won't be for long then the things she wants to touch will not be there. Babyproof your house to the extreme! She will only be 3 once and will outgrow this stage, really! Cherish this time you have with her and when she reaches for something you don't want her to have, hand her something that you DO want her to have, it's a positive move. Spanking breaks down the personality and makes you feel bad in the meantime. Believe me, it's not the solution to your problem! Good Luck and enjoy her!
2006-08-31 11:59:43 · answer #4 · answered by Barbara 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I always start out with one little flat handed smack on some bare skin. Either a hand, a thigh or a buttock. You will instantly know if you've hit hard enough! This was very effective for 3 of my 4 children. Child #2 could of cared less if I spanked him. He'd laugh at me the whole time no matter how hard I did it. So I gave up on that for him. He eventually responded to the toy time out. Everytime he was naughty a favorite thing went on time out! He thought this was a cruel, cruel punishment and sometimes even acted like he was supposed to. He is 7 now and is almost always reasonable. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
2006-08-31 11:57:38 · answer #5 · answered by psycho-cook 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
A little pat on the bottom should do it. She should be hurt by the act of having to be disciplined, not because there is any pain involved. My daughter is 19 months old and learning to test limits. I'm trying to save a little spanking for the big problems such as running away from my mommy or trying to touch something hot. Right now, I remove her from a situation if she's bad, such as throwing toys or kicking furniture when she's not supposed to. I don't want to spank for something little like that.
2006-08-31 11:55:43 · answer #6 · answered by Precious 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I even saw where Dr Phil recommends one spank on the butt. When they are that young they are to little to reason with. They dont understand taking away toys and such things. A little spank on the butt when the child has on a diaper isnt going to hurt them anyway. Give your child a couple more yrs then try the reward system again.
2006-08-31 11:56:54 · answer #7 · answered by Mom 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
At 3 spanking is ok, no more then a half dozen or so swats with your hand is plenty. If you are leaving bruises you are going to far.
2006-09-01 04:15:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No spanking if all possible. When you say "no" you shouldn't have to repeat yourself and the punishment should start there. She is testing you to see how far she can get away with whatever she is doing. Try practicing time out. One minute for each year of age after she is quiet and not before ex: if it takes her 10 minutes to quiet down that is when her 3 minutes starts. She will learn quickly what time out means and she will mind you.
2006-08-31 11:58:59 · answer #9 · answered by edandsarahmae02 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
One single swat with your bare hand on her butt. The force shouldn't be all too great either. The mere fact you're even doing a light swat should put her to tears and hopefully a lesson learned.
2006-08-31 11:51:27 · answer #10 · answered by Cambion Chadeauwaulker 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋