Help. My husband is a compulsive liar. He'll lie about anything. I have no more trust in him. Especially after I found out he'd been smoking pot for 3 years.
We've seen a counselor once at our church, but he's not willing to go further with it.
I don't even want to be intimate anymore. Any advice?
Do you think we can overcome this?
2006-08-31 11:48:19 · 18 answers · asked by geskuh 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
IT IS SO HARD TO DEAL WITH A LIAR ! My ex lied about so many things. I could never trust him again. I finally had to leave him. With God, all things are possible. A very true statement. Pray about this. God does not want us to be unhappy but he also does not like divorce either. If you are trying to work this out with God's help, and your husband is not willing to cooperate, then you have to do what's best for you. God Bless.
2006-08-31 11:59:47 · answer #1 · answered by smiles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are married to someone not willing to work on the marriage, then he's telling you he doesn't want to be married any more. Basically he's too much of a coward to be the one to say it. He's taking the pussy's approach of being a jerk, so you have to leave. Of course, when you do make the move to divorce him, he'll play the victim and try to make you the bad guy.
Of course, I'm not saying you are totally blameless. If he is not a compulsive liar, why does he feel the need to lie to you all the time? How is it you didn't know he was smoking pot for three years and you lived with him? Please.
Wake up before you repeat history.
2006-08-31 11:58:11 · answer #2 · answered by mrpeabody 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it rather is a head game that cheaters play with the help of turning the blame directly to the considerable different they cheated on. you at the instant are not at fault! "You" have not replaced through fact you mentioned your vows. I won't recommend you to go away him through fact i will study between the strains and that in simple terms does not appear like an determination you will try. although, if he can wreck out with it as quickly as, he will do it returned. I mean an basic "i'm sorry", worked this time, in keeping with risk roses and a lovable little poem will artwork next time. i think what i'm asserting is that if in any respect possible flow some distance far off from the cheaters spouse. Then all you may desire to difficulty approximately are the ladies human beings around him at artwork. interior the top you will see that the only determination it is clever is to go away him. yet, it rather is approximately 3 extra years down the line. I'ld choose you good fortune, yet, i've got dealt with cheaters in the previous and understand there is not any good fortune in touch right here.
2016-11-23 16:43:48 · answer #3 · answered by parkhurst 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was married to a man, who besides virtually every OTHER issue on the planet, was a liar.
You couldn't trust him to honestly tell you the time of day. He lied about how much money he took out of the ATM (I took him off the account). He lied about smoking pot (I told him the next time I'd leave. He believed that and stopped.). He lied about working.
You name the topic...he lied about it.
The bottom line is, love is very deeply based on trust. Once the trust has been destroyed, the love follows quickly right behind it.
The only way it can be overcome is if he admits he's a compulsive liar and goes through long, and difficult therapy to find the root cause. I'm guessing that according to him, he has no problem...doesn't lie...and you just don't understand him. YOU can't fix it...only HE can. And he's got no skin in the game to want to fix it.
Based on my experience, I suggest you get your ducks in a row, and paddle your behind right out of that marriage. It isn't going to change, unless he wants it to...and he isn't going to admit there's a problem.
2006-08-31 12:02:44 · answer #4 · answered by Kaia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is possible that the two of u can overcome this. Although I don't think that it will happen, because from the sound of it u already have your mind made up that u don't or can't trust him. Only u know if the marriage is even worth trying to save. A bunch of online people can't answer that, because we are only hearing one side of the story when there are three. (1) your side, (2) his side, and (3) the truth.
follow your heart, you know if u want to put up with a liar for another 3 years.
2006-08-31 11:53:43 · answer #5 · answered by 2good4hem 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way you can overcome this is if you are both willing to work things out. If he isn't willing to continue counseling, stop smoking pot, and make a real effort to stop lying, then you have a tough choice to make.
Either way, you need to tell him how you feel and how this is affecting your marriage. Let him know you love him, but that you can't stand the fact he does drugs and lies to you. He has to be willing to admit he was wrong and start working toward making your marriage healthier.
2006-08-31 11:51:08 · answer #6 · answered by Rawrrrr 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly how you feel. I have the same problem with my wife, she would rather lie than tell the truth. She has been caught in NUMEROUS lies, from finances, to everyday happenings, and her past sexual encounters, and relationships. we have been married 3 years, i FINALLY GOT TO THE POINT WHERE i WOULD CONFRONT HER everytime i CAUGHT HER IN A LIE. I cannot trust her at all, and cannot get over the problem. You should confront him about this, for your own piece of mind, let him know you are over this unacceptable behaivior. and it needs to stop. If it doesnt change, move on, . we tried councelling at our own church, but when people started coming down on her for her habits, she got mad and quit going. You deserve better.
2006-08-31 12:34:02 · answer #7 · answered by hemi_beepbeep 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow...you sure can pick them! You said he was a compulsive liar. That means he was doing this before you got married....so why is it an issue now? Sounds like there are other issues and you're using this lying as an excuse??
2006-08-31 13:20:52 · answer #8 · answered by Tony 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont blame him for not wanting to go. Counseling isnt an effective way to address issues. They are just to tell you what you already know, but you want to hear it from a 3rd person's view. What you need to do, is to negotiate a truce and/or compromise.
2006-08-31 11:54:01 · answer #9 · answered by lopez76g 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life is short. I stuck it out for 20 TWENTY!!! years before I finally got the courage to leave. I wish, wish, wish, I had gotten out earlier. What a waste of time! My story, maybe not yours, but that's how I feel!
2006-08-31 11:51:35 · answer #10 · answered by Just Ducky 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋