I met a woman and a man on a hook up website i have talked with them for almost six months. I met her once, she came to visit and she changed me from being bicurious to bisexual. They want me to move in with them and I really want to too!!!! The only thing is its to the other side of the country. and my family doesnt know that i am bisexual. I have a job lined up there and they have a little girl that is the same age as my four year old.
I guess what i am asking is ......... am I crazy for wanting to move in with them. He has his own buisness and she stays at home with the kids. They are my perfect combination!! I love everything about them and they way that they live. I did a background check on them and theres nothing too terrible on there. I would like to have your opinion!!
2006-08-31 11:46:35 · 17 answers · asked by goodtimincountry 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I have a backup account that they dont know about. I already made some calls and have a studio apt there just in case something like that was to happen. I may be crazy but not stupid.
2006-08-31 11:51:01 · update #1
I say go for it! You've taken all the right precautions. If things go bad for aany reason, you've got the right protections in place and you've done your homework. Monogamy isn't the only way. Move in with them anjoy polygamy! It can work and sounds like it will in this case!
2006-08-31 14:49:48 · answer #1 · answered by carora13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man (sorry) Lady, that is a very involved, complex and tough question. First, I read some of your past questions...particularly the last one where you asked wheater you should stay with your new job with potential future benefits...very important for your well being and more so for your 4 year old daughter. Then you ask if you should leave the new job you are excited about and go move in with a very good friend (and I stress friend as being singular) many states away. You state that you would be moving in with a mon with kid near the same age as your child and that she would pay you $700 per week. Certainly you must realize that she would be paying you $36,400 per year without any taxes (federal or state income, social security or SDI) being witheld. Again you must realize that you will be held responsible to pay all of these taxes on at least a quarterly basis. If you fail to do so, the interest and pentalies will be VERY SIGNIICANT. Did you investigate or find out how much money or income your good friend earned? It must be; or better be, very substantial if she can afford to pay you $36,400 per year. I earn $86,000 per year (I work in Iraq as a DoD civilian contractor) and I would be hard presssed to pay anyone 42% of my pre-tax income for any reason.
Your current question indicated that you are in a relationship (primarily an internet & phone chatting one for almost 6 months) and had a bisexual encounter with the woman; once and that they want you to move in with them...and that you really want to also. It will require you to move to the other side of the country and that in reality you have lied to your family about being bisexual. The job you have lined up, does it pay you $36,400 tax free per year? Are the new friends you hooked up with sill going to pay you $700 per week tax free? Since you have a job lined up where you plan to live with your new friends my guess is no, they don't plan to pay you anything.
Especially since she plans on staying at home with the kids...why would she need you to be the nanny? Of course, this is all assuming this is the same mom who offered you $700 per week to be the nanny of her children and not child.
And yes,I think it is a bad and very dangerous idea to move across country, move in with a man and woman you know only via the intenet. The job you have lined up may fall through, may not pay enough to live on and you would be stuck where ever it is your "friends" want you shack up ay. Sorry,I don't mean to be rude but there are so many events of women being hald captive and abused by "friends" they have hooked up with over the Internet. And besides, the needs, safety and well bing of your daughter must come first.
Why, the needs, safety and well being of my son ALWAYS came first.
Best of luck on what ever decision you make.
Richard
Father of a 21 year old son who I love more than any one or anything
Former US Army Officer
2006-08-31 21:16:06 · answer #2 · answered by iraq51 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know, it's funny... I have more experience with bi guys and cuckolds myself... but, being on the "couple" side of the fence...
...it has the potential to create alot of conflict.
You're an adult and know your situation better.
If it were just you, I would say "why not? Go for it!"...
... but since you have a child...
Can you start out living in a separate apartment but in the same city as them? If that is by any means a financial option, it would allow you to explore while still giving SOME stability to your daughter (who really probably doesn't need to know about your relationships until they've been stable for a few months)...
Just my take on things. It's nice to think about another, but the reality of living with is completely different.
I would proceed slowly and cautiously... but follow your gut and heart at the same time!
2006-08-31 19:09:49 · answer #3 · answered by Jessie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you are crazy for wanting to do this. You want to turn your daughters life upside down just so you can live out a fantasy. Surely you can find bisexual lovers where you live. This is just a phase for all involved. What do you do when they get tired of having a live-in "sex toy" and her daughter and they want to get back to their normal family life? You should really give this serious thought before you do this. Also, why would you want to raise your daughter around that? Its one thing for you to pursue that life style out of your home and away from your daughters eyes, but what do you do when your daughter walks in on this woman's husband railing you from behind while you're eatting muff? (sorry for the visual, but i dont sugar coat things...that is what you run the risk of your daughter seeing). I just dont think the whole thing is a good healthy idea for your daughter. Dont do it and stay where you are and find local lovers. Bisexuals are everywhere, not just across the country.
2006-08-31 18:56:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK, well you have only met them once. And you have a child. So.. you have to be really responsible and think ahead. You are not crazy, but I think maybe you have an "ideal" picture in your head of how this is going to play out... and I think you may be disappointed. Is this a place that you would want to live if things don't work out?
Esp with a daughter, I would move in to the studio and take things slow. Esp since they live so far, you don't want to be s.o.l. if things don't work out. Also, are you ready to explain this to your child?
2006-08-31 18:55:57 · answer #5 · answered by Kitty 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a very confusing environment for a 4 year old and however old the other kids are. i don't recommend it, what if they're some crazy murderers or child molesters, or whatever else you could not think of. did you look at all the police files on them? i would be scared to death to even let someone come to my home i met on the web, you're crazy if you're actually considering this, i feel more worried about your child than you, so if you want, i'll be a mom to your baby and give her/him a safe environment with no wonders why mommy is kissing him and her and she and he and whatever you're thinking of exposing him/her to. what kind of business does he have and why do they want a stranger in their bed? the grass always looks greener on the other side, but usually isn't...you are not only living your life but your child's also and to put them in this is irresponsible, from one mom to the next--look out for number 1--your child!!
2006-08-31 18:55:45 · answer #6 · answered by nadadizzyblonde 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it was just yourself, then it would be up to you to do whatever pleases you...however there is a child involved and she should be your priority. That is not a good environment to be raising a child...plus you're talking about moving in with and allowing a woman you have met ONCE to tend your child! You haven't even met the guy. It's disaster waiting to happen. AVOID IT...stick to phone chats and meeting them for fun, but not involving your child
2006-08-31 18:52:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can only speak with my own thoughts and opinions as a mother and a lesbian mother at that. I am in NO WAY offended, opposed, or judgemental about bi-sexuals. However, this doesn't sound like a healthy environment for your daughter. It may sound ideal to you now but I think there is a way to have a relationship with them and NOT move in with them. Remember you are a mother FIRST AND FOREMOST. You have to think about what is best for your daughter and not what YOU want.
2006-08-31 20:24:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever visited them? Y don't you take a vacation at their place 4 a week or 2, c how that goes, and if you all get along well during that time: Go 4 it:-)
2006-08-31 18:51:14 · answer #9 · answered by Inquizitiv1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really do want to, do it but make sure you have a backup plan incase your plan to move in with them doesnt pull through and your stuck halfway arcoss the world with nothing.
2006-08-31 18:50:03 · answer #10 · answered by pik 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋