Has my partner cheated on me.?

Question

I found out my partner had made several enquiries to escort agencies behind my back. I checked his computer to read his emails of enquiries to dating agencies and he had become a member with his own profile stating he was single. I checked his bank statement and noticed he was spending alot of money. When I told him what I found he swore blind he had only made enquiries and had not been with any woman behind my back. I'm unable to trust him anymore and find it hard to believe anything he says. Why has he done this. We are loving and very close, our sex life is not as active as he would like but we were very cuddly and loving with each other everyday. I feel betrayed, hurt andgry and all I do feel is hate for him. He begs me everday with love letters and text messages begging me to believe him him that he never went with another woman but why do I still not believe him

Answer 1

lets say that it were to be only an enquiries..
why did he make the enquiries in the first place?.. why does it intrigue him to look up those agencies? what for?? so what was the purpose of his actions?. .. aaannnd what was he going to do ultimately if you never found out?
can you really be happy knowing that he wanted to make enquiries to escort agencies?.. even if they were just enquiries?

Answer 2

You don't believe him because he's untrustworthy.

It doesn't matter whether he has actually physically cheated on you or not. He has treated you with a total lack of respect.

No man who respects and loves his partner joins a dating agency and states that he's single.

Trust your instincts and what they say about him and your relationship. Only you can decide what you want to do from now on.

As someone who was once cheated on by an ex I can say this though - rebuilding trust is incredibly hard. It can happen, but I'm not sure whether it ever comes back 100%.

Answer 3

i dont know the guy and theres no way you can be sure he has or hasnt. but was in a relationship where the guy DID cheat it was harsh. but i loved him very much so eventually forgave him. however, the trust was comletely shattered, we rowed all the time because hed not answer his phone or hed be late or hed cancel on me at the last minute,so i checked his phone. n low and behold he was still seeing this girl. anyway i kept on giving him another chance and he just carried on doing it. i was heart broken but in te end i realised i was worth more and got out. if you forgive him, maybe it will all stop and maybe he hasnt even done anythin - it could just be a fantasy and most people leave there fantasies as just that because they arent as good in real life. but its more about trust, when the trust is gone theres not much of a relationship anymore. trust me. if you give him another chance you will have to start fresh, as if it never happened otherwise the suspicion alone will destroy ur reationship, and maybe he will make the fantasy a reality.

if you can fully forgive him then follow ur heart, but i you really believe hes done the dirty, yeah it will hurt but ur worth more than that n u sould have more self respect than to forgive him coz he'l just think hes got away with it.

as they say, its their fault if they fool you once, urs if they fool you twice - n thats so true, trust me!

Answer 4

Ok, I don't know whether you are married or not because you don't mention it anywhere in your post. You say he's your partner, which to me means that either you are a gay couple or that you're just living with him without benfit of marriage. If you are a gay couple I would say that the reason you still don't believe him is right there in front of you on the computer. If you are a hetro couple just living together I would say that you got what you deserved for snooping into someone else's private email account as well as checking account.

Answer 5

Sounds to this fella like you have a pretty good instinct. Trusting your instinct is important and if it is saying that he is BSing you then you have a choice to make. You can either stay in a relationship that you feel angry, betrayed and cheated in. Or you can kick him to the curb and go out and try and start over hoping that the next man you get into a relationship with is more honest. Best of luck to you in your decision making process.

Answer 6

what you need to do my dear is call the agncy and ask them if he has been having dates with these agents, some give out info...some dont...or go one better, tell him that he was seen by a friend of yours with a girl, it must be local for him to join unless he's travelling miles just for a cheap shag...if theres money missing from his accout, then ask him where it's going, delve into his details and get the facts i dont blame you for feeling betrayed, especially when you see his profile and it says single...he's lying....make him beg, make him text, make him feel as bad as he's made you feel...if he says he ONLY made enquiries, then thats cheating too, his intentions were to follow it through, otherwise he would not have (enquired) in the first place.....he is not to be trusted....dont believe anything he says, and if i were you dont go near him...(std's) get a check up, when they beg and snivvel and vow they have not been up to no good, it usually means they have...it means they are guilty....dont feel sorry for him, let him go to the dirty little tramps if he cant find pleasure with you, he's the one with the problem....not you....dump him...stand your ground...and dont fall for his pitiful sob stories...get a real man who will respect you

Answer 7

Yes, he cheated on you. And even if hadn't, he was planning on it, or at very least fantasizing about it. However, you may just want to forget about that, and think about what you can do to prevent it in the future.

I noticed you mentioned that your sex life isn't very active but you are very cuddly and loving. This may seem very good to you, but does he think you've become to clingy. I noticed that you feel betrayed, but you haven't been able to tell him it's over. Could it be that you feel dependent on his time and love, and that is why this is so betraying. If so, this is clinginess, and this more than anything this is what makes men cheat. Be proactive - instead of worrying about what you are going to do if he cheats on you, make yourself someone who doesn't get cheated on.

Answer 8

women who work for escort agencies are prostitutes does this not tell you what kind of a man he is if he needs sexual gratification from dirty whores.Why are you with him even like he says he only made enquiries to dating agencies what the hell did he even want to do that for?If you phone to enquire about a service that someone is providing you do that because you want the service they provide...right.Let him beg all he wants dont risk sexual diseases for anyone because you wont just end up with itchy bits you'll end up in a body bag.

Answer 9

He's cheating. And he's pulling a classic tactic: "deny deny deny."

You have the facts and he knows you do but he's desperate to keep you because if you leave his whole world will collapse. And he won't have a safe haven to operate his sexual activities out of.

Get rid of him! You HAVE to!

At least for your sanity because you'll start doubting reality if you let yourself believe him. And he'll start lying about everything because he'll love the power he has over you.

Answer 10

dump him. probably the only reason he didnt go with another woman, if thats the truth, is cos u caught him out first. his behaviour is deceitful, that wont change. u cannot have a relationship without trust. dump him and move on with your life. if he truely loved u, he wouldnt be doing this in the first place. good luck.