My daughter live with her mother by court order since i am not living in the state.
2006-08-31 11:05:52 · 27 answers · asked by zakum2000 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
TO ME YOUR EX WIFE SHOULD NOT TALK BAD ABOUT YOU TO YA LL DAUGHTER. REGARDLESS OF WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN YA LL.IF THE MARRIAGE ENDED ON THE WRONGFUL DOING ON YOUR BEHALF OR HERS, SHE DOES NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO TALK BAD ABOUT YOU. MY EX-HUSBAND AND I CAN'T STAND EACH OTHER, HE HATES ME SO MUCH THAT HE HASN'T CALLED HIS KIDS IN OVER 1YEAR. THE KIDS ASK ABOUT HIM AT TIMES, AND WHEN THEY DO I DON'T BAD MOUTH HIM, BECAUSE LITTLE DO HE KNOW HE'S NOT DOING ANY THING BESIDES HURTING HIS SELF.YOUR EX WIFE SHOULD BE GLAD THAT YOU STILL WANT TO BE IN YOUR DAUGHTERS LIFE. AND WHEN YOUR DAUGHTER GET OLD ENOUGH TO REALLY UNDERSTAND, SHE WILL REALIZE WHAT HER MOTHER WAS SAYING AND DOING WAS WRONG. YOUR EX WIFE MAY STILL HAVE FEELINGS FOR YOU, AND SHE PROB ALLY DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU WITH ANY ONE ELSE,WHICH MEANS THAT SHE IS OUT TO GET YOU IN THE WORSE WAY POSSIBLE.ALL I CAN SAY TO YOU IS BE STRONG AND KEEP CALLING YOUR DAUGHTER,AND TAKING CARE OF HER LIKE YOU SHOULD AND WHEN THE TIME COMES YOU WILL BE GREATLY REWARDED FOR IT ALL.OH AND A SINCERE WORD OF ADVICE PLS STAY AWAY FROM YOUR EX WIFE BECAUSE IT SEEMS AS IF SHE'S OUT TO HURT YOU. I WOULD FEED HER FROM A LONG HANDEL OF A SPOON.
2006-08-31 11:26:02 · answer #1 · answered by UNKNOWN 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
There is no easy way to solve this problem because you are far away from them and they can tell your daughter anything, which is wrong on their part. The most you could do is continue to communicate with your daughter (whenver you can) and be the good person that you are and make sure you tell your daughter positive things all the time. Eventually when she gets older she'll remember the good side of you in spite of the ex wife and her family spewing garbage. If you were not a bad father, why worry?
2006-08-31 11:18:51 · answer #2 · answered by Golden Scepter 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really do feel for you. A woman does this because she has very low self esteem. She manipulates the child.. so that the child will LOVE her more than the father. Sadly, you ex also has a mother who allows the same nonsense to happen. Women are horrifically manipulative and a good woman will fight the natural instict and purposefully not manipulate. Be the very best father you can be. Always send cards for special occasions. Find out her MSN address and ALWAYS email her and tell her that you're thinking of her. Call her often. Make a record of ALL contact you have with her. She might not realize it now.. but she will appreciate you as she gets older. good luck
2006-08-31 11:11:01 · answer #3 · answered by puresatin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, theres not much you can do. We live in a country that allows freedom of speech and this is what happens. The most you can do is when you have her is to prove mom wrong. Then let your daughter decide for herself. As she gets older, she will figure out things for herself and find out the truth,which is when this will blow up in moms face. Just dont put down mom when shes with you. Your ex is resenting you for whatever reason and using your daughter to get back at you and this is the way she has chosen to do so. She just doesnt understand the damage she is doing to her, but what goes around will come around given a little time. Just dont get caught up in her mind games and youll win in the long run. Good luck
2006-08-31 11:17:18 · answer #4 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doing something to your ex wife and family would prove that what they have been saying about you is true, don't you think? I would not want to stoop to their level, instead I would spend my time trying to show my child that what they were saying was wrong.
Some couples fall out of love, and seperate, and go their seperate ways for various reasons. Trying to use their children as a tool to try to hurt each other, or get back at one another is wrong and only hurts the child in the long run.
2006-08-31 11:31:07 · answer #5 · answered by smoke 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing is to not do ANYTHING to them in retaliation. Spend time with your daughter so that she can make her own decision...9 year olds are pretty smart when it comes to that stuff. If you can't spend time with her in person, call her as much as you can so that she knows you are still there for her. If you can through the court order, get her into counseling.
2006-08-31 11:10:20 · answer #6 · answered by miguel's madre 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing you can do is make certain you don't play the same game. As if you do your daughter just becomes the meat in the sandwich and will end up hating you both. Just be the nice guy whenever you have your daughter and let her make her own judgement. In time your daughter will draw her own conclusions and then her mum will be the one she questions.
2006-08-31 11:19:17 · answer #7 · answered by auburn 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing. Don't stoop to that level. EVENTUALLY, she will discover the truth (regardless of the type of person you are).
Sadly you are going to miss out on some incredible memories of her growing up. That sucks! But, be a long term thinker. Be honest, be sincere, NEVER say anything bad about her mom, love your daughter and express that in ways she will accept.
In the end, you and she will be fine.
2006-08-31 11:11:11 · answer #8 · answered by jb_cpq 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do nothing to your x or family.
Explain to your daughter that you are not a "bad" person, and that people are very different so they sometimes say things about people that are not true. Your daughter's 9. Ask her about school and if any kids say mean things about people that are not true, but say them anyway just to be mean? The same thing might be happening in your case.
2006-08-31 11:10:45 · answer #9 · answered by Sue B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your daughter knows for sure that you're a cool father then you should have nothing to worry about. Prove to her that what they are saying is not true. Let Karma take care of the rest.
2006-08-31 11:23:32 · answer #10 · answered by Kit Cat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋