what should I do?

Question

here in iceland people dont tip the waitress.. and some foreigners came by today, and they tipped me!! and they incisted no matter how often i said no, that i should take the money.. i eventually took the money.. but i felt guilty and humiliated..

guilty cus i didn't earn that money fair,
and humiliated because I feel like I was given charity money..

what would u do in my situation, if it would happen again??

Answer 1

tell them no! we do not take tips. then walk away and get the manager to explain icelandic manners. don't feel bad about refusing the tip. im an irish labourer and i've had people try to thrust money into my pocket because i put what they bought (heavy doors) into their car. its part of the job to do all the lifting for the customer i dont expect or want tips and i refuse them, even coming close to punches on occasion. say no! we do not accept tips or want them. i know where your coming from and understand. walk away and get the boss to explain.

edit: irish labourer refuses tips because its demeaning to his labour, a thank you is worth more than money.

iceland same kind of thinking.

japan: try it there an realise why its bad manners to force a tip on someone:

for all the non icelandic people to understand what this means, your on holiday in their country, you can't speak the language but think its ok to enforce your countries customs on a person from there? . and its not enough they speak english you expect them to turn over 1000 years of tradition just so you feel good about yourselves giving a tip which isn't welcomed

Answer 2

Don't feel guilty. Tipping is a cultural thing in many parts of the world and it is taken for granted as the natural thing to do. Don't feel humiliated. Just chalk it up to the foreigners not understanding your customs. New Zealand is the same way. They don't want you to tip either. Just be gracious and accept it because it most likely will happen again. By the way, I have been to Iceland once. I went to Rekjavik and to those massive hot outdoor pools, was it Blue something? I was on a transatlantic cruise and went to Greenland too. London to New York with lots of stops between. You have a beautiful country.

Answer 3

Well, its not really charity money. I used to be a waiter here in the UK and some people tip and others don't. I only give a tip if the service has been good. Its not a bad thing its like a compliment! In the states its really rude to not leave a tip. I don't really agree with that. I guess it depends on where in the world you are, but guaranteed that tip wasn't a big deal for those tourists and it shouldn't be for you!

Answer 4

Here in the US it is customary and expected. I disagree with your statement about earning the money fairly. The customers were happy with the service that you provided and wanted to give you compensation for it. I think that means that you earned the money and should be allowed to keep it.
If you can't rest with that idea, tell your employer what happened and ask them how they feel about it.
Another idea: donate the money to the best charity that you can think of. That way, you know that it has been used for something positive and you won't have it on your conscience.
Consider this a test for the next time it happens (It probably will). Depending upon what you decide to do this time, you'll know what to do next time.

Answer 5

You should not feel giulty or humiliated, you obviously gave these customers a very good service and they rewarded you they didn't give you charity.....
If you really do feel bad and this happens again, why not share the money with the other staff that helped with those particular customers, the cooks, front desk and other waitresses (providing they were on the table). That way it will mean you did something for others as well as having something done for you.

Answer 6

These people obviously appreciated the service they received from you and WANTED to show their appreciation by giving you a financial tip.

You DID earn that money. You should not feel humiliated or guilty. If however, you still feel bad about accepting the tip, why not give the money to a charity.

Then you have done something good and worthwhile for someone else.

Answer 7

We all have different customs, and ours are to tip staff. Don't be offended, just smile and take the money. You did earn that money, waitresses usually work very hard for very little. A tip is a sign of appreciation. Just remember a foreigners' funny ways is usually normal in their own country, they will probably be puzzled by you when you visit them!

Answer 8

Why don't people tip in Iceland? The reason we tip here in the states is because, one we're grateful for the service, and two because waitors/waitresses, make about half of the minimum wage ($2.50) per hour, so most of the money they make come from tips. Take the money, they definitely didn't mean it to be charity, it's just appreciation.

Answer 9

you have to understand that in some countries it is accepted practice to tip the waiter/waitress. this is how they make up their wages. in most places they pool the tips and share them at the end of the night. some places put a service charge on the bill for this. think of it this way. if you refuse to take the tip which to the customer is accepted practice you are insulting them. you did earn it because westerner do not tip bad waiters/waitresses. they will tip for good service above what is expected.

Answer 10

If you truly really feel so bad about it why not accept and say that with their approval you would like to donate it to charity and have a box available where you could save any tips that are given to you by appreciative customers and then present it to a charity of your choice. Like that you are not causing offense to your customers and you will feel good helping those who need your help.

Well done on doing a good job - keep up the good work.