situation.... Okay, I am sick of this and I don't know what to do to fix it. My family don't get along with my boyfrien/fiance we have been together for 6 years and my family hardley knows him but they refuse to get a long with him or get to know him because of 2 times they have had problems with dealing with him and instead of telling him how they feel they lie to me and him just to save face and not deal with the real issues, my boyfriend has confronted them and they just lie to make the situation get better even though they have strong feelings that they do not want to mend the relationship, and it is hurting me the most. My family thinks that my boyfriend demands respect and throws the word around too much, and my bf thinks my family has none, which I am on his side if his family treated me the way they treat him I wouldn't put up with it. the whole story is too long but How can I get them to just quit the fasad and get along for me? is it possible?
2006-08-31 10:25:26 · 5 answers · asked by ~Ronyea Q♪ 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
And my bf has done nothing to disrespect my family he just tries to get them to like him and accept him as part of the family. It is upsetting to both of us not just me
2006-08-31 11:34:59 · update #1
Sounds complicated.
But, this is what I would do. First of all, forgive your family for acting poorly. Don't try to change them because attempting to force them to change their opinion with "talk" just ain't going to do it.
You are going to have to SHOW them what a wonderful guy your fiancee is. He needs to show them respect (regardless of whether he thinks they deserve it or not) and be polite. Help them out when you can: mow lawn, help with a heavy project, whatever.
Actions speak louder than words. Making sure your behavior, yours AND your fiance's, is above reproach,is what is going to impress your family. Its unfortunate if they are already biased because of past events, but there is nothing you can do to change what has already happened.
Doing this is all much harder than simply fighting and arguing and telling your family how wrong they are, but in the end, what I'm suggesting is what is going to make a lasting impression with them.
Think about it.
Good luck and Goddess Bless!
2006-08-31 10:40:50 · answer #1 · answered by crazygodddesss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you all can sit down and tell each other how you feel. In a ideal world it can work, but everyone has the right not to like someone for whatever reason. Its just the way it is. It might work and it might not. Be firm and let your family know that the way they are treating him is doing nothing but hurting you.
2006-08-31 17:34:28 · answer #2 · answered by WENDY G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Communication is the key to any good relationship with anyone. Honest communication. Not knowing what the problem between your boyfriend and family is my suggestion is that if the trust and respect is not there for your boyfriend maybe he did something to cause that lack of trust and respect. If that happended then your boyfriend needs to earn that trust back, not by demanding respect but earning it. Sometimes we have to just "suck it up" and become humble enough to admit to ourselves that these things can take time to earn back. It shows lack of respect on his part to demand respect. Respect and trust have to be earned. Be patient, be loving, to both your family and boyfriend, dont take sides and if its meant to be then it will happen.
2006-08-31 17:49:49 · answer #3 · answered by neored 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Was already there...after known her for almost 2yrs then 10 yrs of marriage my in-laws did not like me, even thou I was 31, 6 yrs ago and they treated me like I was nothing and they caused us to divorce..well I moved 500 miles away...later she found out they was lying and came too be with me,, She found out to it was a good thing since i had a higher paying job and just bought her a house last yr...they say they are sorry and I am a good husband and a father...to her now to..But I still wonder if they are lying to..Moving away does help I've learened that.
2006-08-31 17:42:06 · answer #4 · answered by hononegah1988 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the Dr. Phil episode yesterday. Many many years ago I was living with a guy my parents couldn't stand but as soon as we got married they treated him respectively. The living together in sin was something they were against because of their religion, but being married made everything okay.
2006-09-01 19:10:20 · answer #5 · answered by Dellajoy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋