Single mum of Autistic child and we feel isolated where do we go from here?

Question

I am a single mum with 4yr old autistic child. It is very hard to make friends because of my son's condition people just stare at us and he cannot talk yet. My son goes to a special school and the bus collects him to/from school so there is no school run to meet other parents. Although there are parent groups within the school, only a few parents ever attend and they're always married couples and the never include me in the conversation as they look down on me.

In my neighbourhood everyone has loads of kids that play and chat together and I feel totally isolated and my son also does but kids don't want to play with him because they can't get a conversation out of him and their parents just ignore me (again).

I'm at my wits end and just want to make friends with people who understand and who are not patronizing or ask awkward questions.

What can I do?

Answer 1

Have you tried a support group?

Answer 2

I can somewhat understand what you're going through, because I have a sister who's disabled to the extent where she can't take care of herself at all and can't communicate. From experience I can tell you that because of the disability that exists as a constant presence in your life, there will be a significant number of people who simply will ignore you (probably because they don't understand you or your son, the challenges you face, and basically because of their lack of knowledge). I know that's happened to me a lot. When I go to the store with my sister (which isn't really all that often anymore), some people do stare at the awkward sounds and screams she sometimes makes. I sometimes wonder what exactly they're thinking, and what kind of questions they want to ask but are afraid to.

I had a teacher who was the father of an autistic child, and since I discovered that I've been reading up on autism. I haven't read through every single book I picked up at the library, but there's this one that I think might help, it's called "A Real Boy" by Christina Adams. You might want to look into it.

Autism, unlike the disease my sister has, is a common condition, and that's your advantage. There are many support groups for autism, where you can make friends, meet people who face the same challenges, and give and recieve support. I think that would really help.

Also, when people know better, they do better. I would suggest you try to start a conversation with your neighbors and other parents. Start by immediatly addressing the problem, "Hi, my name is ___ and my son doesn't talk very much because he has autism." Sometimes, if you bring it up directly and immediatly, people feel more comfortable talking and asking questions, and this could trigger a friendship.

I think that's about it, I hope the advice from a 14-year old has helped. Try to remember a quote a very special teacher told me once, "Anyone can be negative, that's easy. But it takes effort to be positive."

Answer 3

I know how you feel as I have a sister who is Autistic with downs syndrome. We are both adults now in our own different living situations. It is hard having an Autistic child as our parents know. You can check in your area and see if there are support groups of parents with autistic children. Or if you have Internet access maybe look up those sort of counseling groups.

Answer 4

off topic I have to ask if you are aware how intelligent autistic children are. Have you seen where autistic children are superb as pianists? They also like horse riding. Maybe you can meet people who are in those fields to plan for his future. Or you can just join women's social sororities and just be with females single or married. I mean no offence when I say that you don't have to stay in the world of autistic. Join in with all women and live your own life when you can.

Answer 5

As a mum of two autistic boys my advice would be you need to educate yourself so that you have better understanding and control. This takes time and as you do you will feel more confident in taking him out. Remeber the world is a very scary place for him and you need to explain everything and be his "rock" Good Luck and more than anything love him :)

Answer 6

As autism is on a spectrum each and every new child is extremely distinctive. the suitable ingredient you are going to be able to desire to do until now working with autistic babies could be to study up on the subject, there are some somewhat sturdy informative books available. you may cope with a new child with autism as you may the different new child, they'll quickly make it easier to comprehend their opinion as to in the event that they such as you or no longer. often maximum little ones with autism do unlike people who're too of their face or over conventional, they do tend to savour their own area. No new child enjoys being left on my own with a stranger and every physique who seems after an autistic new child might on no account enable this take place. you may attempt to maintain activities as low key as attainable as some autistic babies are very comfortable and subject to sensory overload so a visit to the zoo might instruct to reason somewhat an explosive challenge. the main ingredient is to take time to get to understand the new child and cope with that new child as a guy or woman.

Answer 7

I'm sorry to hear that people are so rude. I try to teach my children that everyone is human and we all have flaws, not to judge a book by it's cover. None of the kids from his school can come over, maybe you should try to pick him up yourself from school so you can meet the other kids and their parents. As for you making friends, what do you do while your son is at school, don't you work. Do you not meet people that way. You have to put yourself out there to get results. I'm sure things will turn around for you and your son soon. Good Luck!

Answer 8

i know just how you're feeling. i became a single parent when my son (who is now 19) was 6. he has autistic spectrum disorder and severe learning difficulties, tourettes and affective disorder. (he wasn't diagnosed until last year). i found people avoided me because they were scared of the unknown (my son). eventually my health visitor found a family centre near by for single parents. the place was fantastic. they spported me and my son. helped with courses that i could attend and the other single parents were nice and helpful too. hope you can find somewhere like that too. also the children with disabilities team (under social work dept) can i've found be of great help

Answer 9

My Nephew is autistic and I help out with him from time to time. I will say this, I understand your position and lift you up in my prayers. I would suggest finding a support group. You may also want to try a local university or college. they often offer cutting edge research for your child at a fraction of the cost of the pros's. Again my prayers are with you!!

Good Luck and God Bless

Answer 10

You should see if there is an organization in your community that deals with issues such as this I used to have a best friend in the exact same situation and she sent her son to a public school which was really hard on her and to be honest there aren't very many good people that understand autism the best thing you can do is to keep your head up it will get easier, and try looking at local web sites or try
www.abettercommunity.com

hope this helps you some.

Answer 11

Are you sure there is no support group in your area?
Seems like there would be. I'm sure your not the only one with this problem. I'm sorry for you pain. But at least you care enough to love your child in spite of whatever problems he has. I know plenty of parents of "normal" children that are awful parents. Those are the ones I would look down on. That is if I felt inclined to look down on anybody, which I don't.