All of my friends are cool with me being gay. The only problem is that some of them have some opinions about how I "chose" to be gay and they suggest just talking to guys but sleeping with girls. I tried to explain the whole thing, but there's no changing their minds. Should I just stop talking to these friends?
2006-08-31 10:22:38 · 21 answers · asked by Freddy 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
You called them friends so never give up but express your self stronger so they understand. Tell them we all can't be the same in this world and it be great if we were all alike but it's not going to happen. If that don't work tell them they should try just talking to girls and being Gay for a month and you will try what they ask.
Best of Luck
2006-08-31 10:29:12 · answer #1 · answered by Super 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
YES, get rid of them
It should NOT be exhausting to have friends. Also, this isn't brain surgery, if these friends can't grasp a simple thing that you've explained to them, they aren't worth your time, and what I'm really reading here between the lines is that are not, in fact, "cool" with you being gay. they may not be homophobic, but they don't want you to be gay, clearly. This will ALWAYS be an issue with these people and you. There ar eplenty of people out there who truly DO understand, go hang out with them. they're probably much more fabulous and fun than these douchebags
2006-08-31 17:32:36 · answer #2 · answered by libraesque 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Friends don't keep pushing friends.
If they were leaning on you about your religious or political beliefs, or your preferred food habits, or the types of music you really liked....would you keep putting up with it?
If they're otherwise likeable fellas, and you want to keep the friendships, you may just have to say something like "my choice, OK?" and change the topic.
For people who need a clue, and that I don't want to offend, the "raw oyster analogy" works well---
"Some people love raw oysters. Me, I am so NOT going to even try one, but that's me. You like them, you enjoy them, and have fun."
Hope this helps in terms of your situation.
PS: Have you checked in with PFLAG (Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) to see if there's any help there? Here's the link---
www.pflag.org
2006-08-31 17:33:34 · answer #3 · answered by samiracat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If they are true friends then they will accept you as you are and won't try and force you to be unhappy in order to make themselves feel comfortable.I suggest telling them that this is who you are and that is not going to change and if they are your friends they will just accept that.If not, then they really aren't friends.Anyone who claims that there is something about who you are that you should change is not a friend.Unless of course, that part of who you are is something like suicidal tendencies or criminal behavior.Then, they really are trying to help.But your sexuality, race, color, creed, religion, national origin, age, and/or disability should not be on the table for change in order to be friends with someone.
2006-08-31 17:37:26 · answer #4 · answered by BuckFush 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to stop being friends with them. But when ever one of them brings up the gay choice thing just tell them you know where I stand and that's all I care to talk about it. If you don't argue with them they have nothing to argue about.
2006-09-02 00:36:16 · answer #5 · answered by Q~T 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if they are your friends, don't stop talking to them, as they'll never learn. You need to be firm with them and let them know that they have no reference point to come to a decision. You are the one who is gay and you know that cannot be changed by a choice since you are born gay
2006-08-31 17:29:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No one is so rich as to ever give up on a friend.
They are just learning and trying to understand. Remember how confussed and scared you were as you came out - well they experience some of the same things. Just keep educating them and things will smooth out for you!
2006-08-31 17:31:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Keep your friends but keep trying to enlighten them. They simply lack perspective. Next time they say you "chose" to be gay, ask them if they remember the exact day and time when they "chose" to be heterosexual.
2006-08-31 18:25:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You've already stated the obvious fact of there's no changing their minds. They are standing firm on their beliefs and you must do the same. If they aren't willing to see things from your point of view, then slowly distance yourself from them.
2006-08-31 17:28:45 · answer #9 · answered by swilkes8305 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't stop talking to your friends but ask them if they're men would they sleep with other men and only talk to girls maybe they'll understand what it means to you then (that you prefer men)
2006-08-31 17:28:34 · answer #10 · answered by eirann_uk 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋