Am i right to refuse to babysit for my ex wife to go on dates?

Question

She has this habit of asking me to take the kids so she can go out with her boyfriend, i refuse because as i told her your the custodial parent if you want to go out whenever you please then give me custody am i right?

i have the kids MOST of the time while she is working so yes on her days off i do consider it "babysitting" i am with my son all but his moms days off and SHE has custody!

OK TIME OUT!!! my son is with me 24/7 the only time he even gets a chance to see his mom is on her 2 days a week OFF WORK she works second shift I SPEND WAY MORE TIME with the kids than her! and apperantly it is WRONG for me to want her to BE A MOM on her ONLY 2 days off work and SORRY i dont feel i should take the kids so she can WHORE around if she wants to do that then i feel she needs to pay a sitter!

see the problem is this, my ex has 2 days a week off, i have a Fiance whom i love and i could care less who my ex wifes flavor of the week is what i do care about is SHE has custody and SHE hardly ever spends time with the kids, i see them EVERY DAY and SPEND A TON OF TIME with them, my problem is that I FIND TIME AROUND my time with the kids to be with my woman and FEEL THAT her being a MOM on the only 2 days a week she can be IS WAY MORE IMPORTANT that her getting to "go Out"

Answer 1

your in the right. because she needs to be spending time with the kids too. that's a two way street kids tend to see that hey dad takes care of me when mom is only worried about having a man... It will in the long run affect how the kids portray her in their lives

Answer 2

Not really, it sounds like someone is a little jealous here. Youre actually acting like a little kid here. You two are divorced and she was granted custody, but she has a right to do now whatever she pleases with her life, which is really none of your business, and turns to you for a little help, and all you can think about is custody. This is not a custody matter. If I were in your shoes, I would be honored to spend as much time with my son as possible and I wouldnt care what my ex was doing. Now she could go get a regular babysitter, which is in her legal rights, and bypass you all together, but wants him to be with his dad instead of a total stranger. Just think how much time you would have with your son under normal visitation times. A family judge would tell you the same thing if you took this to court,. just be thankful for the time you have with him,as it wont last forever, and stop worrying about your exes life and more on yours. Good luck

Answer 3

Yes and no. Yes, I'm sure that it's annoying and not correct, so you'd want to refuse....but DON'T! Use this to your advantage honey. She is screwing up majorly here, by putting her own needs in front of her children. This isn't about her, and it shouldn't ever be. If you don't take them, she'll find someone else who will. So take them...all the time and any time you can. Keep a spiral of all the times you have them while she goes out. Then petition the court for placement. It'll be a struggle and if she's otherwise a good mom, somewhat of a long shot, but the courts truly frown upon the parents who put their own wants and needs in front of their children, and you may just have a case.

I know it's frustrating, and it's wrong, but you are doing the right thing. keep telling yourself that. You'd rather the children are with you than some stranger she manages to find at the last minute.

I wish you well, and alot of patience honey!

Answer 4

I know exactly how you feel. My ex and I our in the same situation. Only I have custody of one and he has custody of the other. then we trade every other weekend so that are kids see each other every weekend. We have a set schedule of when we are going to have our children so I know exactly when I can or can't plan something. You and your ex should try the same. It works beautifully! By the way I agree that you should have custody but babysitting is the wrong word to use because he is your child too!

Answer 5

She needs to wake up and take care of her kids and worry about her love life latter. Those kids need her and if she works second shift, she is not getting any time with them. She should be thankful that you take care of them when she is working. If she wants any outside fun, then pay a sitter. You have a life as well. I agree, if she wants to keep doing as she is doing, then you should have custody of the kids. She sure isn't there for them.

Answer 6

I know this is very agitating - however... think about your kids... You know your ex-wife is probably going to go out anyway - right? I think if I knew that she was going out anyway and that I could spend time with my children or a babysitter could be spending time with my children - I would be taking of every opportunity I had to get them. So, the real question is are you cutting your own nose of to spite your face? Are you really teaching her a lesson - or are you harming a great relationship that you could have with your kids? If she wants to go out all the time, start a journal - write down every time you have them when she is supposed to. Then - if and when you want custody, the odds are in your favor...

Answer 7

No you are not right because she needs some free time just like you do because I'm sure that you get to go out and do whatever you want and don't have to worry about anyone watching the kids because you don't have them. Just because she is the custodial parent doesn't mean that she can't have a life and go out to have a good time without the kids once in awhile. You are just mad because she is dating again it sounds like it so you are acting like a kid because you are jealous.

Answer 8

As a mother, I have to totally agree with you. More than apt, she fought you in court for custody, now you are paying child support, which is only right, but, you have the every other weekend visitation rights as most dad's do right? She made her bed, let her lay in it. Even though the children are yours, don't keep them for her at her convenience just so she can go and do what she wants.......being a mother means having your kids with you, her free weekends should be the time she should go out and party or whatever it is she is doing. Don't let her use you as a doormat. If she wants all her free time, then do what you said and tell her to sign over custody of them........BUT, OH NO, THAT MEANS NO MORE CHILD SUPPORT CHECKS FOR HER.......OOPS, THAT WON'T WORK.......AM I RIGHT?...........Good luck and stick to your guns.

Answer 9

Dont you have a set visitation schedule? If not then you should just appreciate any time you get to spend with them and youre divorced, who cares what the he** shes out there doing. Any obviously shes in lust mode and would rather be with him than her kids right now. But you are right about the custody thing, if shes got better things to do than she should grant you full custody. But she wont....

Answer 10

If you love your kids take advantage of every opportunity you can to be with them regardless of who has custody. It's not about her --it's about your kids. Are you jealous that she's dating? If that's what it is put that aside and get on with your life. If you can take advantage of the opportunity to spend more time with them, do it. If you really can't do it because you had other plans, then let her know but don't let it be about who has custody and who doesn't.

PS--You "babysit" other people's kids, not your own. It's not babysitting when it's spending time with your own kids.