I was raised to always pick up the check, I turned out gay, but that's a different story. I just can't help myself, he likes to eat out a lot, and always wants to pay, but I always have to take the check away from him, or tell the waiter in advance to give it to me. He's an engineer, I'm a teacher. On one hand, it's very costly for me to keep paying for eating out every night. On the other hand, he makes more money than me and always wants to pay.
I just don't know how can I get over myself and let him pay or at least be confortable going deutch.
I may sound dumb, but I like feeling in the man in the relationship, maybe that's why I just can't do it.
How can I be confortable with myself letting him pay?
2006-08-31 10:18:34 · 19 answers · asked by Document Guy 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
What you said was very intelligent and thought out - tell him the exact same thing and the two of you work out a solution. If you intend on remaining bf's you have to learn to communicate on every level, if you can't talk to him about paying for dinner how would you later discuss splitting living expenses (if you move in together) or safe sex or a myriad of other things. As you work on these smaller things you build a pathway to a stronger future with him.
2006-08-31 10:36:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since he likes eating out more than you do, you could switch off each time. He pays one night, you pay the other. Or, if you know how to cook, tell him that you want to make dinner for him one night. Not only is it cheaper, but it's something special and more thought out. Hooray for teaching! I know it may not be great money but the reward of impacting a child's life is worth it!
2006-08-31 17:26:51 · answer #2 · answered by sac_baby_girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm I'm not sure what I can tell you to do to help you but I'll try. Let him pay tonight and the next time he says lets go out say let me (you) make something in tonight and be open with him tell him you feel it's costly going out and you don't want to leave it for him to pay all the time.. If you disagree with me it's OK I would be in the same place you are if I was you..
I wish you luck with this.
2006-08-31 17:24:45 · answer #3 · answered by Super 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My thoughts on paying are ALWAYS he who makes the offer (or extends the invitation) pays. It's kinda like when you go out with friends... I always feel that in some ways I have to share the responsibility and can offer to help pay the tab, but if someone extends the invitation it's only polite and proper etiquette that they cover it. If you still don't feel comfortable offer to help with what you can.
2006-08-31 17:35:45 · answer #4 · answered by laydlo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It should not matter who makes more it should be a 50/50 thing anyway. If you do not have the money it is okay for him to pay and vice versa. You can be very comfortable with yourself if you let him pay because you are a couple.
2006-09-01 16:19:46 · answer #5 · answered by Necole 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
On of my fundamental outlooks on life:
If someone other than me wants to pay, they can go right ahead.
Usually though, I find some way to "equalize." Maybe not when eating out, but I'll offer to pay for something else at a later date, and there's usually not much of a problem.
2006-08-31 17:24:08 · answer #6 · answered by MysticTortoise 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he's the one that offers, and the one who wants to eat out all the time, then let him pay. To reciprocate, since you don't make as much as him, you could make him a nice dinner at your place once in a while. Or find other ways to reciprocate ;)
2006-08-31 17:25:48 · answer #7 · answered by Harry_Cox 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is really dumb! split the checks or take turns paying. Why in the world do you put it upon yourself to pay all the time.????? Makes no sense to me. You are treating him like a possession. Stop it.
2006-08-31 17:45:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What I do on a date is this: Whomever initiates the invitation to eat / or whomever asks the other to meet for a meal, that party pays. (i.e. If I were to call you up and say: "Let's go somewhere and grab a bite to eat", I think it should be understood that I'm the one expected to pick-up the tab. As it was "my" idea......make sense?...Hope so! :) Cheers!
2006-08-31 21:19:37 · answer #9 · answered by Drew 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmm g0y dont have this problem we are equal and we take turns or we go dutch. This is one of many reasons g0y do not gender bend. We are both men in our relationships with each other. Since nither of us takes it up the butt niether of us has to play the female role.
Of the homosexual community g0ys are the kosher catch.
Hows that for irony?
2006-08-31 17:23:49 · answer #10 · answered by ♂ Randy W. ♂ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋