How awful is what I just did?

Question

My neighbors are from Afghanistan, and we've always gotten along well. We share carpooling duty, and on of their young sons frequently comes to our home to play games. Today their mom picked everyone up and walked my daughter to our front door with her three-year-old twin boys. After chatting for a moment, I reached down and touseled the hair of one of the twins, and said, "Hi, cutie." As soon as I did, the other twin quickly put his hands up to cover the top of his own head. I laughed, thinking he was just being shy, but then he backed away and started toward home, saying over and over something in their language I couldn't understand. It was then that I remembered they are Muslim, and I think I now recall something about it being bad to touch the top of their heads. Does anyone know for certain about this? His mom brushed it off and chuckled when I said I was sorry, but I'm still wondering.

Answer 1

Towards these folks, the head is the holiest part of their body. The foot is degrading. Remember you are just a women. In The Islamic faith, you are dirt. The man, even a boy is it. The man, the king. You did nothing wrong, its just the difference in culture. Here, in the usa, men and women are equal.

Answer 2

If the mother shrugged it off, no worries. But I do believe there is some cultural deal about thier heads. I am not sure what, but since they are from another country...and they are in the US, the kids are definitely not accustomed to our traditions here. And they can take things more literally than humans, more personally too. So there was a possiblity something was taken wrong by that one little boy. But if this is not the reason, another thing could be...that brother could be highly protective over the his brother. I would not worry myself over it, everything will be okay. If anything, ask to talk with the mother about some cultural differences so you can gain a better understanding of thier world as they are trying to acclumate to this world. If she is as nice as she sounds, she will sit and talk with you over lunch or coffee/tea.

Answer 3

Let it go. If you had done something offensive, the mom would have told you. It may be more that the little fellow was afraid you would call him "cutie" and well, you know boys! They do not want to be called "cutie" "sweetie" or anything to with the word PIE. They are big boys. Next time try a manly handshake.

Answer 4

If it was something of significance, she most surely would of said something, they might have just been shy or something, alot of kids would probably run, it is sort of strange, for someone besides a parent or relative to mess with thier hair, unless its the barber, I suppose.

Answer 5

no c'mon they are muslims but those twins are kids, secondly if they are pure Muslims y they have to live n a free country , and u didn't know that...no problem

Answer 6

Lol; aww don worry..you didnt know. They might see you as a bit a ignorant but i think its best for you to study their culture a little more ;)

Answer 7

It was probably too intimate. From now on no touching.

Answer 8

you are going straight to muslim hell. but you prabably were anyway. if mom wasn't offended, fine, just don't do it again and stay being nice.

Answer 9

if you didn't know your not to blame,the mother seemed to handle it well so i wouldn't worry,you might want to ask her if it was offensive just to clear things up and then you will know

Answer 10

INTERESTING - - if you ever find out what the problem was PLEASE share it - this is one of the more intersting things that have been posted!