My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 1/2 years. We have an issue that comes up every now and again. I'm 20,he's 20 as well,I'll be 21 in a month and he'll be 21 in June. I met him when I was 18 and he was 17,he had been dating a girl before me for a year 1/2,and jumped into a relationship with me. We're very happy together,2 1/2 years later we still laugh at the dumb jokes,tickle each other,have sex everyday,and BARELY have fights. People say we are a perfect couple,and both sides of the family love us,my question is this Since he's never really been single,do you think he needs a little space to wander and see what else is out there before we continue our relationship? Or do you think that when you have love to stick it through? My problem is that I know what I want already,and thats to be with him,and he says the same,but I feel like maybe he doens't mean it and if I know he'd EVER had sex w/ another girl,I couldn't be with him again. Help!
2006-08-31
09:39:40
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10 answers
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asked by
Anonymous
in
Family & Relationships
➔ Other - Family & Relationships
~Let me see if I've got this right: you're involved in a wonderful relationship with a swell guy and life is great, but you think he should play the field a little so you can believe him when he says he loves you, but at that point you won't care because even if you believe him, you won't want to be with him. Does that sum it up?
By the way, "stick it through" is an interesting (and telling) way to describe staying in your idyllic situation.
You obviously are too young and immature to be seriously contemplating a long term committed relationship. Grow up.
Help! is right. You need some.
2006-08-31 09:56:38
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answer #1
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answered by Oscar Himpflewitz 7
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It sounds like despite being in an incredibly delicious place with your partner, you are still a pragmatist speculating on the "what ifs." This is wise. And, it's tough to be thinking about the scenario you hypothesized. However, breakups are a reality which happen to more than half the married couples and who knows how many other couples. At 20, you're both still pretty young and have a lot of life ahead of you. Many people I know who have married young have made the statement that they and their partner "drifted apart." While I'm sure this can be true, I don't think it is necessarily because they were not meant for each other. It is more likely that each partner did not or could not keep up with the communication (as well as change) needed to manage all the pressures in equal fashion. Relationships, like plants, need work, nurturance, care. Most people are really good at the rush of love in the first period which can last from months to a few years. But after awhile, jobs, family, children, money and a whole slew of other issues begin to make their demands upon each of your lives. The starkness of your relationship now can not imagine these added pressures influencing how you feel toward each other. But they do, and they will. How you weather these struggles is a testament to your will, and your understanding that love is a verb, not a noun.
As for your question, tough it out? Absolutely. There's nothing better going on right now is there? Sounds like you have much to gain by staying together.
2006-08-31 09:56:46
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answer #2
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answered by Finnegan 7
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you are just scared about loosing him since you love him and everything is going great. why break the relationship now? for what? so that he can wonder whats out there? so that he can sleep with other girls? and if you said you wouldnt take him back if he has sex with other girls then why let him go? you know he will. and you know you wont have him back. he is a guy and if you give him space and time off he will for sure go off with another girl. so you wont get him back. why if he is really really happy with you and doesnt want to leave? and here you are bring this topic up. im sure he might think that you are the one who wants a break. so just keep your mouth shut and move on in your relationship. make is better everyday. have fun. and keep him happy as well as him keeping you happy. taking is break is no option.
2006-08-31 09:48:07
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answer #3
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answered by All4Christ 4
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About 5 years ago I was dating this guy who was still a VIRGIN... I couldnt believe how such an amazing guy was STILL a virgin..Our relationship didnt last because I felt the same thing... that he was too young, about 1 yr younger than me, and I was right. We were together for about 2 years and then decided to go separate ways... he started acting different around other girls and I could tell he was interested. So be careful if you stay. Good luck
2006-08-31 09:49:39
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answer #4
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answered by Angel Eve 6
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I truely believe with knowing what you have and sticking with your loved one. If you and he know what each of you want in somebody and you have it why leave and risk losing the one you truely love? there isn't any point. If he truely loves you he will never hurt you by cheating on you. I mean he can look, but doing and acting upon that is wrong and you should trust your instinct. If he choses to be with you then let it be, but if it is realy bugging you talk to him for the last time then just sweap it under the rug and move on girl. Don't push him, because he sounds like a keeper.
2006-08-31 09:56:11
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answer #5
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answered by blu2u1982 2
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Dear Sunbronzed.
A rough fact of life is that a very high number of men (40%?) cheat on their wives at least once.
This does not mean that they do not love and want to stay with their wives.
What this tells us is that our society's expecations do not match the reality of human behavior. If we can know it could happen, maybe our first reaction won't be to get a divorce, revenge and the house. We are wrong to do this but our culture encourages it. If we 'know', we can be 'prepared' and deal with it appropriately. Our culture needs to re-think something if half of all marriages end in divorce. That's way wrong!
My advice for you is to tough it through. Be loving and adventurous and it will all work out fine. At your age, egos are much to fragile to endure some 'wandering' .. if you love him, keep him!
signed,
wrath
2006-08-31 09:54:13
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answer #6
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answered by wrathofkublakhan 6
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that's a sprint previous-shaped, yet lots of the Fleetwood Mac album, Rumours, became all approximately breakups and awkward loves and cheating and etc. i decide to propose "bypass your individual way" for some thing upbeat and nevertheless on-factor. a sprint extra imprecise (and unhappy), yet nevertheless crammed with solid motives to bypass away somebody is Ani Difranco's Marrow. there is numerous super track accessible, yet i presumed i might attempt to pare all of it the way down to a track or 2. properly, ultimate of luck to you. If that's what's ultimate, that's what's ultimate, and that i want you properly.
2016-11-06 04:12:38
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answer #7
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answered by ? 4
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So far,this relationship sounds like it exists mainly for sex. If it's actually L-O-V-E, it will exist WITHOUT sex Right now,it's lust not love. Try going without it for awhile-I bet your boyfriend will have a fit-if so,then you know what he's in it for!! True love will exist with the pants on!!
2006-08-31 09:46:52
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answer #8
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answered by KEITH G 4
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If he wanted to wander and see what else is out there, he would of by now. He seems settled right where he's at and has who he wants and is at peace with that.
2006-08-31 09:46:23
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answer #9
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answered by Anonymous
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stick with it and enjoy
2006-08-31 09:48:07
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answer #10
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answered by bolandalbaby@verizon.net 5
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