he took my virginity and left me =( plz help!?

Question

Hi,

I really would like someone to help me. Im in complete depression and I dont know how to overcome. I lost my virginity to someone i loved very much, and I thought that we were going to spend the rest of our life together. In the culture that im from loosing my virginity is a major issue. He left me and didnt think twice about the state he left me in.

I regret it will all my heart, i tried to contact him to help me overcome but he didnt want anything to do with me.

Im really sorry for my innocent questions but i really do not know the answers to them. I was wondering if if my vaginal hole will ever go back to the way it was before i had sex with him. The men in our culture find it important that a girl bleeds during her first time. If i ever get married one day, will the man im sleeping with know that i am no longer a virgin just by having sex with me?

Please someone help me =( I really need some answers and im very lost.

Thanks so much

Answer 1

sweet heart, its been done & now u cant do anything abt it. i prefer u to not try to stick withthe guy who doesnt care abt u. u know, nobody can sacrifice for life time (thats human nature) so get rid of guloty thoughts & start ur life with new things. just try to not to ruin ur life again & never let anyone hurt u. thats a frendly advie :)

Answer 2

To start off with, don't bother contacting him again - it won't do any good. And if he is from the same culture as you, he knew exactly what he was doing and obviously didn't care that he was going to "ruin" you.

Unfortunately, there are no really good answers to your questions - no, your hymen (that is what rips and bleeds your first time) will not grow back. The man you marry may or may not realize you are not a virgin on your wedding night, but you probably should tell him that before the wedding - you don't want to start off your wedding life living a lie. Hopefully, you will find a man who does not place as much emphasis on the virginity as other men in your culture might (especially if this first guy was the only other guy). Another option is to marry a man from a different culture - not all cultures are so strict about virginity as yours seems to be. And, you also have to remember that not every woman bleeds her first time having sex. I believe only a doctor would be able to determine for sure whether your hymen is ripped due to sexual intercourse.

As for your depression, if it has lasted for more than 2 weeks, please go see a doctor or psychiatrist. You may need help that only a professional can provide. No man is worth doing this to yourself!!! You are just a loving person who was a little naive (it happens to most of us, I assure you). You will get over this and be a better and stronger woman because of it. I hope this helped make you feel a little better....good luck to you in overcoming this pain and depression.

Answer 3

Well, all I can tell you is that it's possible that your future husband or whatever might never know. The presence or absence of a hymen in no way indicates a girl's virginal state. No one can determine by physical examination alone whether a woman or teen has engaged in vaginal intercourse. Only about 50% of teens and women experience bleeding the first time they have intercourse, so blood stained bed sheets are not a reliable indicator of prior virginity. The hymen of some women tear on more than one occasion. There are even hymen that are elastic enough to permit a penis to enter without tearing, or tear only partially. This is usually true only if the dilation first occurs very gradually with fingers or other objects over an extended period of time. Virginity is a spiritual attribute, not a physical one. The hymen does not magically disappear when something is inserted into the vagina, it will only stretch or tear sufficiently to permit entry of whatever is being inserted. If for example, a teen inserts two fingers into her vagina while masturbating, her hymen may still tear when she has vaginal intercourse for the first time, since the average penis is larger than her two fingers. A woman who has had vaginal intercourse may still have hymeneal tissue present; this remaining tissue can be the cause of pain during intercourse. If a woman's current partner has a larger penis than her prior partners, or a couple tries a new technique or position during intercourse, her hymen may tear again, or for the first time. When doctors examine preadolescent and adolescent girls for evidence of sexual abuse, they look for injuries to the hymen; the hymen may still be intact except for a single tear. Remnants of the hymen are usually present until a woman delivers a baby vaginally. However, in my opinion, you should be honest with the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with. Starting off a marriage with a lie dooms it to failure.

Answer 4

I dont know what to tell you. The answer that you are looking for does not exist.

As far as the physical aspect, there are a lot of reasons that you would not bleed, namely participation in sports as a child. Some women do not bleed the first time anyway.

I dont know which country or culture that you are in, but in general in the United States, nobody would really care about "virginity" after age 20.

Answer 5

All is not lost. Ignorance is a horrible thing in these matters. A womans hyman will not heal once it has been broken, but sex is not the only way that a hyman can break, horseback riding for instance will often break the hyman, so your future husband would be showing that ignorance, of course that doen't really answer your question. There are surgery's that can "repair" the hyman and "resotre virginity". I have no idea how available or expensive they are where you live, but there is a chance.
I am sorry you wre mistreated this way, be sure of what you are getting nto with the next guy.

Answer 6

First of all, no your hymen (which is what he broke when he slept with you for the first time) won't repair itself, sorry, once its gone its gone. You may just have to tell you future husband that you are not a virgin. You could tell him you used tampons when you we're younger and mistaken pushed them in too hard but you shouldn't start your marriage off on lies. Hopefully, the man you fall in love with and marry, will love you enough to understand and accept that you are human and make mistakes too.

About getting answers from the guy, I'm sorry this may sound harsh but seeing as in your culture sex is really important and should be done within marriage, if he has the same view he probably decided not to keep seeing you/marry you because he sees you as easy. I suppose in your culture guys aren't expected to show the same level of chastity as girls. I come from a similar culture, lots of guys I know who comes from the same type of culture, tell me if a girl gives them sex before marriage they are not likely to marry her.

I feel for you and your situation but I know we all make mistake. I also think you live and learn, next time don't go and have sex until you are marry and have the paper to prove it, because you know how much it means to you. This man has hurt you but you can take what you've learn't ffrom this and avoid men like him next time.

For now work out what you've learned from this relationship, don't chase after this guy, you are worth more than that. Look forward to your future, take strength in the fact that you have gone through this and it can only make you stonger. If you still feel so down after about a month of not contacting this guy then see a counsellor of talk to your doctor, professionals unlike friends cannot tell anyone what you tell them or they'll be breaking the law.

Answer 7

I hate to say this but, welcome to reality. You've come into womanhood. Other than arranged marriages I don't know a girl, lady, women, who didn't go through the same thing. Ok, some guys may not leave right away but "The first time Guys" all eventually leave. The pain will go away. It may take a long long long time, I won't sugar coat it, but it will stop hurting so bad. Just try not to hate all of them afterward, that's the next set of emotions you'll have. First it's hurt, then hate, next is anger, and once you go through all those phases hopefully you'll forgive yourself and be able to except we all make mistake and don't give your cookies up again until you're REALLY ready. Go for a solid commitment, a house, car, diamonds, before given up the goods. Don't mis-understand, I'm not saying have a man (boy) buy you, but if they invest in the relationship, you may have something (someone) worth giving it too.

Answer 8

Well, a very similar thing happened to me. I was very proud of my virginity and my boyfriend took it and left as well (not to mention he actually left me for another woman whom he married, after he convinced me we were getting married someday). The thing you have to realize is even though this happened, it DOES NOT change who you are! You are still the same person, virgin or not. I am not quite sure what culture you are from, but if a man will only want to be with you if you are a virgin, then he is not worth being with. Even if you did something you regret, that does not make you a bad person! Your future husband should accept you as you are, even if he wished you were a virgin.

Answer 9

Sweet heart we all mmake mistake, God will forgive you about what you have done. And for him he is a low life of a man. How can he say he love you and would do a person like that, don't worry whay goes around comes back around. Just take every day at a time. And when you do for the man that will marry you, he shouldn't worry if you are a virgin are not . He should not be marrying you for that he should marry you becauses he love you unconditional.

Answer 10

this boy is an fool. bodies are sooo distinctive, i'm particular you're basically advantageous. theres no longer something anatomically incorrect here in any respect. what's incorrect is all the expectancies. i'm sorry this boy traumatized you. he sounds like a cruel fool. savour your physique, meet some new nicer boys, and in the event that they do no longer seem to be nicer than lose them. what you particularly found out is tht the guy you have been saving your self for is LAME and you don;t pick him. dropping your virginity in a humiliating way is regrettably a stunning of passage for many females. don;t challenge nevertheless, it could get so lots extra useful, basically discover somebody constructive, & theres no longer something incorrect with the size of your vagina. all vaginas are flexable if stretched; hi...toddlers circulate by using there. that boy basically does not understand what he's talking approximately.