Ok so i have a roommate and we get along really good and talk about alot of things but she is to needy and dependent, am just her roommate do i really need to be there and does she have to come tell me everything about anything every sec? We also work together and she always come to ask me for cigs about 3 or 4 maybe more times a day and i dont know what to tell her, and i can't maintain my habbits and her a** aswell, now am getting to the point that i try to get home late so she can't start talking to me and am getting a lil bit annoyed. Usually things like that didn't bother me, but i feel like she taking advantage, what the hell do i do? How can i tell her that she needs to get her own sh*t and leave me alone, i like to just be in my room alone and watch tv, not stay up all night talking about what problem she has with her BF or whatever else, she over stresses things why to much, it's driving me crary. And am a very laid back person so is it me or her? What should i do?
2006-08-31 09:07:02 · 13 answers · asked by sour_apple809 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Please i really need some good advise, has to what i should do, what would you do in this situation? Honest....
2006-08-31 09:08:01 · update #1
I don't want to hurt her feelings and remember that we live together so i can't be mean or rude...
2006-08-31 09:11:05 · update #2
oh and i can't move out yet till i save enough money to do that, so i do have to stick it out for the time being....F**K!!!
2006-08-31 09:12:21 · update #3
It is not what you say but how you say it.
You are going to have to start setting boundaries. But do this with kindness.
As for the smokes, when you feel that she has used a pack, tell her she owes you a pack. 3 or 4 cigarettes a day equals about a pack after a week. Let her know she has to cough it up or stop asking you.
When you come home, go ahead and banter a bit with her. Compliment her, smile, be happy to see her and ask her about her day. But when you need your alone time in your room, tell your room mate you need time do some thing and it is time for her to leave. You need your time to study or meditate or pray or what ever. Walk her over to the door and close it after her.
Use your back bone.
If you won't stand up for your self no one will.
If you just won't stand up for your self, then find a new place to live.
2006-08-31 09:26:46 · answer #1 · answered by Think.for.your.self 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These are the very life lessons that inspire us to be better than we are today... to make more money, get than better job so you can afford to live on your own....
As for the cigs... I would tell her exactly what you said.. I cant afford cig for both of us I have a budget... Or the next time she asks for one, Tell her you owe me a pack by now.. SO this is your last one, and you cant have one until you bring me a pack...Smile and make is joking....
Then on a different day approach the time alone thing, Just tell her I like to just chill sometimes and watch TV. Tell her you need quite time to unwind from work... You are both adults and she should understand.. Heck she might be talking to you because she feels she has too,,, maybe it will let her off the hook...
2006-08-31 16:39:29 · answer #2 · answered by mylife 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you love having her as a room mate, but you two are very different people. Tell her you like to have lots of alone time, and you've been missing that. Not that you want her to leave or anything just when ever your in your room could she respect you and let you have your space. When she ask for ciggs just tell her you don't mind sharing, but when is she going to buy her own. Or you can tell her that your trying to cut back so you only brought a certain amount with you. If you had one to give you would.
2006-08-31 16:28:18 · answer #3 · answered by Q~T 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was in a situation where I had to play Oprah and Dr. Phil at the same time...believe me that **** is VERY ANNOYING!! It's too bad that you room with this needy *****, and escaping her makes the situation even difficult. My suggestion to you is to tell this pathetic idiot how you really feel about her "dumping" on you and that it saps you of all energy (some people have that energy about them...they could deplete a power generator!). The best thing for you to do is to get out of that living situation...make plans to move out!!
2006-08-31 16:14:54 · answer #4 · answered by incognitas8 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you can do in a situation is just be honest with her. You don't have to be rude, just let her know what is going on and how you feel. I would advise that you do it sooner rather than later so it doesn't go on to the point you can't stop it.
2006-08-31 16:15:37 · answer #5 · answered by Microbiology.girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes you have to heit people over the head to get your idea across to them. Tell her that she is becoming a real nuisance, Let her knowwhat is really bothering you and that she needs to NOT share everything about her personal life with you. Sometimes you just have to say NO. If it doesn't get better, start looking for another living situation soon.
2006-09-05 02:20:18 · answer #6 · answered by reme_1 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sour_apple809,
I had a roomate that did a lot of what you are going through. Especially the cigarette thing. This is what I did.
I told him that I had a pet peeve: People that ask me for cigarettes makes me livid.
So I told him, if I leave the cigarettes out, you can take one. If you don't see the cigarettes out, don't ask. I only have enough for myself.
The dude still asked sometimes, but we found out that he was mental.
Actually, it sounds like your roomate needs to work a better paying job, or to work two jobs.
2006-08-31 16:26:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, that is really annoying when someone does that but, I would make myself busy like: go out with friends, study, find some local groups to hang out with and just make myself invisible to her. I also would move out.
2006-08-31 16:10:35 · answer #8 · answered by justincausejustintime 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just live your life and only submit to the demands of others that are in line with how you want to live...perhaps you need to find a new roommate...
2006-09-05 03:27:10 · answer #9 · answered by musikurt 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
u just really need to let her know how u feel she will never know how u feel unless u tell her she could be thinking every thing is OK and that u don't mind so its always best to be up front and honest
good luck
2006-08-31 16:13:10 · answer #10 · answered by lost in love 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋