Why has my childs behaviour changed so suddenly?

Question

My child (6) has always been a bit difficult at home but has always been exceptionally good in preschool-prep and now school. This is his second year at his school and he has never had a single bad comment about his behaviour. Ever. He is gentle, kind and has lots of friends. Then in the past two days he has been violent towards his friends. He has hit, pushed, kicked, twisted an arm and punched. We have never ever known him to be like this. We are in shock. He had a lunch time detention yesterday and several diary notes over Wednesday and Thursday. Nothing has changed at all in home or at school. He has been his normal self at home and has been happy to go to school. He cannot come up with any reason why he is doing this and is upset when we talk about it with him. He says he feels different but I think he is just trying to come up with a reason. We have a meeting with the teacher and am not sending him to school today. Today was his special fathers day arvo and we are guttered.

Answer 1

I would suggest taking him to the pediatrician to rule out any sudden medical causes that would explain his behavior. Unfortunately, if their is not a medical rule out, most likely their was a change in his environment that was sudden and possibly traumatic. Look closer at school relationships, home relationships, has he come into contact with anyone that could have taken advantage of him lately? Was their a sudden change in family structure? Consider stresses that are in adults lives that could have indirectly made him anxious, etc. Children are aware of most adult stressors and sometimes overhear conversations that they have difficulty processing correctly; often times children will misinterpret adult language and come to their own negative conclusions. If it continues please seek professional help. Good luck.

Answer 2

Sometimes children act out. Some of the most difficult challenges for a parent are their child’s behavioral problems. Unlike an injury or disease, the “cure” is not always evident. Added is the fact that as a child grows, his or her personality is also developing and constantly changing. Almost overnight, the quiet three year old can suddenly become a disruptive four year old.

It is important for parents to understand the changes that a child goes through during each phase of development. This means that “rules” will need to change as the child grows and becomes more independent. The rules you use at eight will probably not be effective with a 13 year old.

Parents should decide what behaviors are going to be acceptable and what behavior will not be tolerated based on the age and development of the child. These guidelines of behavior are important for the child to feel secure in a structured environment. "No rules" often leads to chaos in the family and can leave long-lasting problems in the child. On the other hand, too much structure or too many rules that don't allow a child to grow, can lead to behavioral problems.

Answer 3

When they tell you they don't know, they really don't. Children have such a hard time identifying the problems they are having. You have to continue to search into what is going on. It sounds like something may have happened that has affected him, and its entirely possible that he may not really be able to identify it. You need to find some way to needle into any particular situation that may have taken place.
He could just be going to a bit of a shift hormonal wise - they do start to experience these things. If he is difficult at home, then something is now transfering over. Don't start keeping him home from school. That is providing him with an escape and that WILL escalate into even worse behaviour just so that he CAN be home. My step son started to do this until we stopped the teachers from sending him home simply because they had no clue how to deal with his behaviour. We had to fight with the school, but when it got to be too violent, his psychiatrist finally put him in an alternative school, where he got more attention from the teacher, and it helped him to begin to excel in his knowledge.
Is your son perhaps experiencing some sort of learning disability that nobody has identified? Even an eyesight problem? Ask the teacher if he squints at the boards or at books..etc. Granted its difficult to tell at 6, but there are ways of finding out. If he continues to act out, you might try calling your countys version of a Children Service Center, which the school will have the information for. Your child could end up going to talk to a child psychologist that might extract an answer.
The only reason I suggest this is because we had no explanation for our step childrens attitudes, but when they sat down with this doctor we found out what was really going on. The reason behind it as was explained to us, was that sometimes children are more willing to talk to a stranger about the problem than they are their own parents. And the doctor will know better what kind of question to ask. It really can be helpfull if it gets to be too frustrating and you can't get to the bottom of it.
Hope you find the problem and get the answers you need.

Answer 4

Pay close attention to what he is saying. Read in between the lines. Children DO NOT at his age act out without reason. Does he ride the bus? Was there any chance he was alone with any other student that could've hurt him in amy way. Give him the benefit of the doubt tell him you love him & know he wouldn't bahave like that unless there was a reason. Tell him no matter what is wrong no matter what he tells you you'll BELIEVE him.
If it turns out to be nothing SO WHAT it ends up you trusted your child & you were wrong. If something is wrong he'll feel safe enought to confide in you. Tell him you'll fix anything that's wrong.
My brother is 8 years younger than I am. Years ago when he was 5 & I was 13 my brother started to act out & misbehave no one knew why. They just said he was going to turn out to be bad.
When asked why he was doing the things he was doing,...he'd say he didn't know & sometimes break down & cry. Everyone dismissed his behavior just labeled him as bad & never dug any deeper. Years later we found out the 13 year old boy who lived behind us was sexually abusing my brother & told him that if he ever told he'd kill our entire family by burning the house down & the guy said he'd make sure my brother was outside with him watching it burn down with us inside. My brother allowed this kid to hurt him for years to prevent us from dying-(so he thought being in a little boys mind) IMAGINE what kind of burden was put on this little 5 year olds shoulders. My brother to this day hasn't gotten over what has happened. My brother is a man in his 30's with 2 children of his own & I know deep down he wants to take revenge on this man.
There's 1 more detail that makes this story even more chilling than it sounds now,....this teenage molester grew up to be a police officer & also has run for state representative.
I know this is just one incident. But just be on the safe side.
Ask questions,...some people don't ask because they don't want to hear the answers. Others just don't know how to ask.
Trust your instincts trust your child. If you don't believe in him who else does? who else will? Maybe someone is bullying him.
Whatever it is don't dismiss it dig deep.
Good Luck!!!

Answer 5

Get into see a good psychiatrist, I say psychiatrist not therapist for a reason.

This could be a neurological thing with such a rapid change, and depending on family history of ADHD, Affective disorders (mood), such as bipolar, depression etc, or any disorder in the the Anxiety disorder group, could be an Early onset, or a manifestation of something that already exists but has been manageable without professional help until now.

The comment you made about him feeling different makes me lean toward the class of mood disorders as something to watch.

If you have a family history of mood disorders, even untreated, your children's risk greatly increase of developing them also.

It could be a reaction to a traumatic event also, which the child has not told you about. I hate to say it but pedophiles do work like that---tell anyone and I will...do something horrible etc.

Keep us posted on how it goes!

Answer 6

I guess I was around between 4 and 6 when I was sexually abused. My mother tells me that went from being a loving child that didn't have a care in the world to being violent towards others. This was back in the day when you didn't talk about such things. I didn't tell my parents because I was embarrassed, a common emotion for children of abuse. Weather it is sexual abuse or just physical abuse, it usually cause abrupt behavioral changes. Physical abuse could come from the hands of a bully. I would take him to a psych just to be sure. Look for one that specializes in children. See if your Teacher can't recommend one.

Answer 7

From what I understand about psychology - for adults or children - is that our psychological changes are triggered by either traumatic events (what might be traumatic for one, may not for another) or chemical imbalances/changes.

Think hard about what has changed. Also speak to the teacher, see how she is and what her opinion is. Watch his friends closely, are they causing any disturbances in his behaviour? Take inventory of the things around him and then you can better analyze the situation. Also, children may be able to give you signs of what is wrong, but they are rarely capable of explaining why/how? So, that is why it is important you question/analyze his surroundings and work with the people around him to figure it out.

Answer 8

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Answer 9

Something has happened to this little fellow somewhere that he is not talking about. It isn't normal for anyone child or adult to change their behavior so drastically with and for no reason.

Try to talk to him about it again, only do it in a fun setting like at the park, or zoo or a favorite place of HIS.

Let him know he is in no trouble at all but you need to know what is wrong so you can fix it for him.

Could it be something he saw on TV?
Could it be a kid at school is targeting him?

Something has changed someplace in his little universe. You just need to let him know that if you do not know what it is, you can not help him.

Answer 10

Maybe there are some kids in school who are bullying him, and you may not know about it becasue he doesn't want to tell you. It could also be that since he is just starting school, he needs to adjust to it. He probably isn't used to waking up so early, going to bed earlier, and learning new things. Give it time, it will change eventually.