so why is it bad to be shallow, as far as beauty is concerned?

Question

Looks DO count! We can't go around everywhere looking like the elephant man! We must be kind to ourselves in that regard. It shows high self-esteem, and people are attracted by that, especially a potential romantic interest. So why do people frown on being fixated on beauty? Who came up with the idea that paying a lot of attention to beauty is being shallow? I admit i don't look good at all, but i do owe it to myself to change things about myself. I've lost friends because for some reason, i lost everything physically attractive about myself in the past 3 years. I don't hold it against them. Nobody wants to be hanging around a scary monster. That IS going to the extreme, when it comes to someone referring to you as a "friend." Things will never be the same. I won't ever be their friend again.

So what do you all think?

Answer 1

b/c beauty is only skin deep and doesn't even touch the person inside.

Answer 2

Being conscious about appearances and being "shallow" are two different things. It's great to want to look your best and emphasize your features- it inspires self-confidence. However, when you start judging people's worth solely on the way they look- then it becomes a problem.

Everything about a person has to come into play when you're deciding whether you think they are a good person or not. Limiting the criteria to something as narrow and alterable as physical appearance is a bad idea. They could have so many things good about them- they're smart, funny, caring, etc- but you dismiss them only because you don't think they look good enough, that's wrong.

If your "friends" are dumping you just because something physical about you has changed, they weren't good friends to begin with. Real friends are never affected by a topical change- it's what's inside that has forged the friendship, and only a change in the person inside could possibly destroy it.

and to bebee- Beauty IS in the eye of the beholder. There is a societal and media-driven "standard" as to what beauty should be, but not everyone buys into that, and it's still very possible to find someone attractive that society at large would not- and vice verse. We all like a variety of different things- some like big propotions, some like small; some like dark features, some like lighter ones. It's TOTALLY subjective, there is no solid definition of what is beautiful and what isn't.

Answer 3

I think that there is a difference in being confident and looking our best, and being fixated on looks.

If a person does their best to be well groomed, wear flattering and nice clothing, and be confident all they are showing is that they care about themselves and have respect for themselves. Well groomed meaning that they take showers, shave, get haircuts, and anything else that constitutes cleanliness. Nice clothing meaning it's clean, not wrinkled, in good condition (no holes or stains), and in general doesn't look like it came out of the trash or dirty cloths hamper. All this means is that they take good care of themselves. This is a good thing.

The fixation is what is negative. Someone who cares more about the latest styles than getting good grades at school, or doing a good job at work, comes across as being shallow or vain. Hair, makeup, clothing, shoes, etc... should be a way to express ourselves, our personalities, and in general an accessory to the person themselves. They should not be the main focus or the most important thing.

You just said exactly why it's a bad thing, you lost your "friends" just because of a change in your appearance. What's inside should count for more than that. Anyone who cares so much about what is on the outside that they let it dictate their lives and relationships, doesn't have a whole lot of good in them.

You may disagree, but looks only last so long, but what's on the inside is there for life. A beauty queen won't always be able to get by on looks alone; it won't find her a job or love (lust yes) if she doesn't have the brains and personality to go with it.

Answer 4

I agree with u. I am not shallow, but I do believe that it's not wrong to believe that beauty is important. I try not to judge ppl by their appearances, but I'm sure everyone does that to me. Believe it or not, in the 9th grade, I was the prettiest natural looking girl in the entire school. Everyone loved me and paid attention to me. I had sooo many friends. Then at the summer of that year, I started getting this skin disorder, my face started gaining meat in places that it hadn't before, and my big gorgeous looking eyes (with a natural abundant, dark, and long amount of lashes. Everyone always thot I was wearing mascara and eyeliner because of this) just became not as gorgeous. I've lost a lot of friends and have become so lonely. Beauty, sadly, is very important and is the only way ppl will pay attention to u at first.

P.S.
Ppl say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. That's b.s. because we can all agree generally on what a beautiful person is. Most of us find Halle Berry, Angelina Jolie, and Jessica Alba attractive. GEnerally, we all have the same tastes in beauty: slim, angular face, straight nose, not bald, etc.

Answer 5

What we need in a friend is very different from the attraction we need in a romantic relationship. It's hard to believe your friends would leave you just because your looks have changed, but maybe they're really shallow, in which case you need new friends anyway. But you're right--looks do matter. So, pull yourself together and go join a gym!

Answer 6

It's bad to be too shallow meaning you around telling people you're the most prettiest person ever or something, bragging, etc. You can still be shallow, showing off your good looks but being modest about it at the same time. People don't want to be known as braggy self-absorbed etc.

Answer 7

Shallow: lack of depth in knowledge, reasoning, emotions, or character
Maybe you lost your "friends" because THEY are shallow. It's not wrong to care about how you look, maybe you lost your friends for other reasons. I wouldn't abandon my friend because she let herself go. You need to be a great person, inside and out because if god forbid one day you're in a horrible car wreck and your "beauty" is gone, you're not going to be able to live with yourself.

Answer 8

You will surely miss out on very loving, interesting, cool people by judging looks! What do you think blind people do? Say, hey are you ugly, well then I don't want to know you? Oh, you said you are ugly now, why are you on here asking us a question? Go bury your head in the sand for us ok?

Answer 9

looks DO matter. but not to the point where you cant love or be friends with someone who may be considered "ugly". tuely, i dont think anyone is ugly. we are all just individually made and different people see beauty in a different way. my boyfriend who is the love of my life----i didnt think he was really attractive when i first met him, but now that i KNOW him and love him, i think he is the best looking man on the earth! and i REALLY think that.

Answer 10

Look, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Don't get me wrong, theres nothing wrong with looking after yourself, but there is no need to get obsessed. I guess you never really had any friends to begin with. My friends don't care how i look. And i don't care how they look either.Society today focuses of skinny concentration camp girls. I mean look at them. They actually think they're cute. Yuck!!!! Do the best you can for yourself.... no one else.... and you will be happy.

Answer 11

looks count but
for very lil

many women that dont look like movies stars a beautiful inside and out, women that flaunt it and know it are only good for their look sand should be put to work
either in retail sells or hostessing somewhere

other women are good for wives as they are not overly vain and still look good in the morning WITHOUT makeup

and have goals and morals, thats the way to my heart

The quickest way be used and tossed is to be vain and materialistic, I'll play you like a BC Rich