I am writing a story and I want to be very specific about a certain character's eyes. I have written: "His glowing, golden-brown eyes had a spine-shivering effect." But I am completely unhappy with this description. Any suggestions from the creative writers out there?
2006-08-31 08:18:17 · 11 answers · asked by DickJoy 2 in Education & Reference ➔ Words & Wordplay
"His dark amber eyes radiated a glow that set every nerve to shivering."
Just tossing that out there.
Good luck with the story.
- Tig
2006-08-31 08:27:48 · answer #1 · answered by Tigger 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This answer will partially depend on the genre. Sci-fi? Romantic fiction? Literary fiction? Literary nonfiction? Poetry?
I don't like spine-shivering effect. It's overused. Your reader will want to know, "Why is it spine-shivering?"
Go into more detail on the golden-brown. If you want to say his eyes are intense, you need to dial the image of intense. Are his eyes honey-brown? Not very intense. An electric honey-brown? Intense golden-brown? A shimmering golden-brown?
I still would need more details of what kind of writing you're doing.
2006-08-31 08:31:36 · answer #2 · answered by Ryan M 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
His golden-brown eyes had a touch of the leonine. His sharp gaze fastened on her fixing her to the spot. Unable to move, she could only stare back. His bold look, dark eyebrows raised with secret amusement, raked over her slender form. She swayed toward him, unconsciously inviting intimacy. Oops! Didn't mean to go overboard. The guy's eyes could be hypnotic, unnerving, riveting, mocking and knowing. Good luck with this.
2006-08-31 08:33:45 · answer #3 · answered by TweetyBird 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about, "Dey look real good"?
Just kidding.
"His light eyes glowed as if they had an inner light within. She briefly became mesmerized and her spine shivered."
2006-08-31 09:28:50 · answer #4 · answered by Freesumpin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His warm honey toned gaze fell upon me sending a cascade of shivers up my spine.
2006-08-31 08:29:49 · answer #5 · answered by Bubbles Will Rule the World!!!!! 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hmmmm, putting on my Shakespearian thinking cap:
"His honey golden eyes, were far from sweet, as ice glazed over his stare, causing a spine-shivering effect."
How about that?
And thanks for the 2 pts, I enjoyed answering.
2006-08-31 08:29:02 · answer #6 · answered by * Deep Thought * 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
his blazing golden-brown eyes gave me an unexpected shivering
2006-08-31 12:52:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about, "The crystal clear orbs were adorned with deep pools the color of dark honey." The spine-tinglyness can be its own sentence. :)
2006-08-31 08:22:28 · answer #8 · answered by Robin J. Sky 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Limpid pools of chimeria, almost like golden flakes in mercury.
2006-08-31 08:27:07 · answer #9 · answered by Jimfix 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know this isn't what you want, but it's funny so I'm gonna share it anyway. I sometimes tell my hubby that he is so full of poo that his eyes are brown! *lol*
2006-08-31 08:33:57 · answer #10 · answered by Jasunni 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋