So he is jail for braking probation for dwi, and keeps saying things like "you have put up with so much", "i know i haven't turned out to be the husband you always wanted". Is he trying to hit me into leaving because after all the cheating and back and forth to jail i'mthisclose to leaving him.
Please just insight into what those comments mean
2006-08-31 08:11:11 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't want yahoo people to tell me wheter i should stay with him or not. i just want insight on the little "comments" he makes
2006-08-31 08:17:33 · update #1
He might actually care about you and truly feel sorry for the things he has put you through. Of course you have the right to divorce him, but what does your heart say?
You could give him an ultimatum, say if he quits drinking and holds down a job and is honest and faithful you will give him another chance. If not then tell him to hit the road.
It's up to you not the people on Yahoo!
Good Luck
2006-08-31 08:15:44 · answer #1 · answered by me4tennessee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
insight---men in jail are trapped, they do not have temptations, their vices, a warm bed and emotional support. they feel very vulnerable and believe that once they get out, they will turn over a new leaf. Some men know deep down, that they will not change, but say these things to "rehook" a woman. Unfortunately without professional help and accountability, these men with alcohol/drug problems along with infidelity, will not change. Please consider counseling so that you can become stronger while he is not there. Hopefully you will demand a certain standard from him.
2006-08-31 08:23:57 · answer #2 · answered by hopscothchbunnies 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He feels bad and wants you to stay, however he isn't going to change because he is an alcoholic. This happened to a family member. The family member is a female. She loved the person and moved out. She told the person she would give them three to six months to clean up including going to rehab and aa etc.
It worked. The person realized that my family member was more important than drinking and his behavior also changed for the better.
Obviously every situation is different, but you will learn a lot about where you and he is at.
2006-08-31 08:27:49 · answer #3 · answered by mrcatphish 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No he's probably doing exactly the opposite. He's saying the things he thinks you want to hear, he is seeming to apologize for making such a mess out of life so that you won't leave. By the way, you are out of your mind if you don't. You need to go get yourself some counselling to figure out why you put up with this and haven't done better for yourself yet.
2006-08-31 08:18:45 · answer #4 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband works as a correctional officer and often hears inmates talking to family members.. He hears comments such as these quite often... but he also hears the comments made after the family member leaves, coments such as "Well now she won't think about leaving because of the guilt." and "guilt is the best way to keep a woman in line."
What I see is reverse psychology at work, he wants to keep you in the exact position you are in and playing the "I am so pathetic and need you to love and care for me card" has worked in the past, When you have a good hand play it again and again..
2006-08-31 08:18:50 · answer #5 · answered by Diane (PFLAG) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he's been bathing in self pitty and depression. Stand by him, remind him everyone makes mistakes... Now if he has a history of cheating and this isn't the first time he's been in jail, well, I'd have to ask why you're even with him. Men don't normally hint around like "i know I haven't been............." that seems to mean they're looking for pity.
2006-08-31 08:17:30 · answer #6 · answered by rachael 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, if this man cheated on you more than once, he will do it again when he gets out. Second, stop selling yourself short. This man obviously has problems that have nothing to do with you and he will continue to have them until he learns from his mistakes. I wish you the best of luck and hope you find your self esteem and realize you do not deserve to be treated like this.
2006-08-31 08:16:37 · answer #7 · answered by cookie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being in jail has a way of waking some people up.
2006-08-31 08:26:34 · answer #8 · answered by Monty L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sp-ics makes very bad husbands.
2006-08-31 08:24:36 · answer #9 · answered by Leif Ericson 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ask him why he says these things and does he say them every time he screws up cause if so it might be his way for asking forgiveness
2006-08-31 08:34:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋