How do Domestic Partners split the bills?

Question

Do I pay more of the bills because I make more money, or should both of us equally contribute. We are both women by the way. I'm just feed up with paying all the bills.

I'm getting alot of answers saying I shouldn't worry whose paying how much, and thats a bunch of BS. My partner is working and so am I, she doesn't pay ANY of the bills, I pay all of them. It was my apartment at first and then she moved in, but she didn't pick up any of the bills and I'm tired of paying everything, I thought partners were suppose to help each other. She has not offered to pay one single solitary bill, she hasn't even bought any food in the 5 months she's been there. I told her that I need some help and 4 days after she got her check she gives me $60, whoopee. I owe over $1400 a month in bills. I need help, I want some extra spending money to buy I don't know some lunch.....

I solved my problem I sat down and had a real heart to heart, and we decided something that worked for both us, and I am very happy.

Answer 1

How does any couple split the bills?

By discussing things openly and with love and reaching a decision that you can both support wholeheartedly. If you're unhappy, it's time to start a dialogue on the issue.

Answer 2

Well me and my hubby make the same amount. We just share all the money in one bank account. I'm not saying that would be good for you, but as a couple you share everything. And your right that includes her chipping in the best she can. You two need to sit down and go over a budget together. Show her how much the bills were when you lived by yourself. Then show her wow much your bills have gone up now that two people live there. Just be honest with her and tell her that you need her help. She needs to start doing something to help out. I'm a wife but that does not mean I get a free ride. I have to use my money to pay bills buy food and put gas in the cars just the same as my husband does. When you explain to her that you just can't handle it on your own if she has a heart at all she will agree to help you. Then every week you can have her set aside a certain amount of her money for bills and groceries.

Answer 3

I agree with Tammy O. Open a joint account for house bills, utilities, food, etc. Work out a budget of how much is spent on these things, then you both agree on an amount to put into the account each week to pay for these bills. My partner and I do this and we both have a little extra money each week to pay for personal bills. If this doesn't work, you might have to set her down for a talk. If she can't start paying at least half, maybe she can go mooch off of someone else.

Answer 4

My girlfriend and I each put 80% of our checks into a communal checking account. All bills come out of there as do any joint activities (dinner, movies). The other 20% is ours for single fun, clothes, shoes, movies, gifts, etc.

However, she makes a LOT more then me (I'm a grad student), so defacto, she earns the money that pays most of the bills. But this was something we discussed at length before we moved in together. We both feel very happy with this arrangement.

Your mistake was paying all the bills in the first place and not setting up a system before she moved in. Now the system you have in place is that you pay for everything and that makes you unhappy. Well you reap what you sow.

You need to sit down with your girlfriend and explain that the financial set up you have now is making you uncomfortable and ask her VERY NICELY to change it. She might be fabulously happy with the way things are, and since this was your mistake and hence you are the one unhappy, no fair being a b*tch to her about it. Make her understand the magnitude in question and don't spit in her face by turning down what she gives you.

Decide on a percentage of income that is fair for you, based on how much each of you make and how much your bills are. If you make more, expect to put in more. Set up direct deposit that takes that percentage out of your check and into a joint account. Pay all bills from the joint account.

Like someone above said, you are supposed to be a family now. And in a family, it should be mostly OUR money. Splitting bills 50/50 only works if both people make roughly the same ammount. In the real world, families pitch in and work it out together, though rough times and inequalities and bizarre circumstances. They communicate and they work together. They don't make assumptions, make decisions without really consulting each other, then get all cranky and entitled down the line. If you love each other, you offer to pay what you can, however much that might be.

Answer 5

The problem isn't who's paying what or how much, the problem is your THINKING is wrong.
If you're a couple, then you're NOT two individuals living under one roof....your one unit.

Get a joint bank account, do not get rid of your personal accounts, but have one account that you both contribute to for household bills, rent, food...etc.

This is what my partner and I come up with and it stopped any arguing over who's paying more for what.

It's a rediculous argument really. If you are ONE unit, ONE couple, and not simply just roommates, then it shouldn't matter who's paying how much.
We're not simply just roommates, we're a family.
Families shouldn't be arguing about who's paying how much, it's completely irrelavent.

If you're not expecting to stay together for any length of time, or there's no intimate relationship, then yeah, you should be splitting the bills.

The ONLY arguments my partner and I have over money is when WE are short for the month...this is not an accusation of anyone's ability to pull their own weight or contribute to the family, it's simply a basic complaint every couple has.

Answer 6

It it sounds like it's "Long Talk" time. While it's great to have someone live with you, they have to do whatever is within their financial means to make money issues equitable or it won't work out. Point out to her exactly what you are paying out a month and what you have left over. if she can't come up with some kind of decent accomodation, sorry to say it, but it's time she find herself another place to live. Love is working together, not one living off the other. If she didn't have a Job and did all the housework including the cooking I might be able to understand, but that isn't the case. And $60???? Wow. I do my regular part on the rent, more than my share of the housework(which we agreed upon) and still manage to sling an extra 100 to 200 at him every couple of months to help offset incidentals.

Answer 7

When my partner and I moved in together, we split the bills equally for a while.

But after about 6 months, it was clear that it was unfair, because I make almost twice what she makes. So we went to a system where I paid about twice what she paid.

That got complicated and annoying after about a year. But by that time, our relationship had clicked to the point where we knew we would be together indefinitely.

So we got a joint checking account. Now, whatever money we make goes in one big pile, and all the household bills and fun money all comes out of that pile. It's a lot simpler, and less stressful.

Hope this helps.

Answer 8

Time to sit and talk about the situation before you get any angrier with her. Write everything dwn in black and white and show her what your responsibilities are. You may not have made it clear to her what her share was in the beginning. Whether you living with someone as a partners or room-mate, she needs to pay some percentage or it's not worth having her there. She might as well have her own place. Some people are leaches. Straighten it out or tell her to move out.
i know alot of people have a joint checking account but that only works if BOTH people are responsible.
Also to the others, make sure everything is in writing and legal. I have heard horror stories of one person dying and the surviving partner losing EVERYTHING. .

Answer 9

Fairy,
I'm looking at some of these answers and I'm glad that these people are not my roomates.

You add up the bills, strike it right down the middle. Just because someone makes more money does not mean they should have to support the other one. Right down the middle is fair, and makes it clear that you are equal.

Paying all the Bills:
You can decide to forgive those debts, unless there was an agreement that you were to do that. It sounds like you are uncomfortable with that arrangement, so there should be a meeting where the responsibilty is shared.

Remember, Making more money says something about your ability. It doesn't mean you earned it any less that you roommate, so it shouldn't be treated that way.

Equality does not mean taking from those that have more. That's only equality for those that desire what someone else has. That's not fairness, that's stealing.

Answer 10

It really depends on the situation. Normally I'd say 50/50 for shared expenses like rent, electric, cable, etc. But sometimes you'll come to points in your relationship where one of you needs to do a bit more than the other. Right now, my partner is in grad school, so I pick up a bit more of the expenses. I think the most important thing is that you find a solution that works for you both.

Also, make sure your partner is AWARE of how much things cost. If bills are coming in your name, post them on the fridge or something so she can see how much she should contribute. Maybe you can even have a few bills transferred to her name.

Answer 11

In my marriage, we do what we can to split the bills....you should do what we did when we started out - get a joint bank account and agree upon how much needs to go into the account from each paycheque or monthly. Use that bank account to pay the bills...and see how it goes from there. I know how it feels to be expected to pay more because you make more - but talk this through with your partner, and I'm sure you both can come to some type of mutal understanding.