Ok, so I think I need some help. Lots of help. I am a 20yr old guy, got to college, very well educated, blah blah blah. Point is from the outside you would think I was completely normal. here is the thing. I have an infatuation with crossdressing or wanting to paint my fingernails. Basically lots of girl things, I want them but dont want to be a girl and I am not gay at all. I have a gf. I have had this infatuation since I was young and it drives me insane, and at times i feel like it could run my life, i have spent hours before looking a pics of guys crossdressed or them having there nails painted. I know it sounds like i need a real doctor and i probobly do, but i dont have the money at all. Basically my problem is liking these feminine things, I dont know if i should feed this and just ... or try an solve it. PLease Help??
2006-08-31
07:50:07
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12 answers
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asked by
NDK35
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Society & Culture
➔ Other - Society & Culture
SO Do I FEED it or get rid of it. Which way is the best for me and how do I go about doing it. Please I need serious advice.
2006-08-31
07:51:02 ·
update #1
A lot of people are turned on by cross-dressing and are not gay. If you went to college and are well-educated there should be someone on campus who may be able to help you deal with these feelings for little or no cost. Just make sure you see a mental or sexual health professional and not a priest or anything like that. You don't need to be judged, but to be seriously advised until you figure out what you want and the best way to live with your decision. Good luck : )
2006-08-31 07:57:36
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answer #1
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answered by wuxitan 2
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It sounds to me like you're more into the nail painting thing than the cross-dressing thing. I would try it for a while, but if you're worried about what other people would think, try it on your toe-nails. You could even have your gf paint them for you, or maybe she would let you paint her nails. I'm sure you would score some major points of you gave her a pedicure. It might be something fun you can do together. Maybe start wearing a little jewelry. See if it makes you feel better. If it doesn't, then get psychiatric help.
Personally I think it is a little unfair that women get to express their femininity, and masculinity all the time, but men are criticized if they are at all feminine.
It may seem impossible to get help if you have no $$ but there are programs where you can get it for low cost or no cost. For example, if you're still in college, they might have a wellness center where you can get counseling. Or your job might have an employee assistance program where you can get confidential counselling. Or you can go to your local mental health department and see if they offer services on a sliding scale.
Good luck. I hope you find what you are looking for.
2006-08-31 08:07:41
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answer #2
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answered by MornGloryHM 4
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First of all - just relax. Crossdressing does not make you gay and does not make you less of a man.
http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/articles/sex/xdress.html
This site dispells some of the myths regarding crossdressing. You do not need a doctor - you just need to learn how to integrate this into your life and become comfortable with yourself. Find out how your GF feels about it. She may be more tolerant that you expect.
Read the website - if you have more questions you can email me at carolmerel@hotmail.com. Don't let people on here give you a hard time. You are normal!!
2006-08-31 07:59:55
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answer #3
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answered by Anonymous
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There is nothing wrong with you. Plenty of people cross-dress and aren't gay and don't want a sex change. I'm a straight woman who prefers wearing trousers to dresses, 100 years ago this would have been odd but today it's considered perfectly normal and no-one thinks twice about it!
You're not doing anyone any harm, which is the most important thing to remember. Men can 'get away' with having manicures and wearing some make-up these days, so indulge yourself now and again.
2006-08-31 08:16:01
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answer #4
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answered by Anonymous
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What a question. I think it is this society we live in that put such a stigma on crossdressing. And it is totally one sided, if a girl wears mens clothing we hardly bat an eye but the other way around and whoa! stop the train. In answer to your question I thing you need to come to some answeres your self. If you really want to stop you will need to seek some counseling. If you wish to continue. Also I am not even sure if this is something you can fix.I sorry but unless you are able to hide it you will be ridiculed. Good luck.
2006-08-31 07:59:17
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answer #5
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answered by haiku_katie 4
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Accept who you are. If you want to wear polish then paint your fingernails with clear polish. Perhaps something in your past is unresolved and you feel comfort by feminine things? Talk to your girl friend or someone you can trust about this if you can't afford a counselor. Most pastors council folks for free..... check out what is available on campus for outreach - I'm sure there will be something like the Wesley foundation.
This must go pretty deep if you've thought about it for years. Talk about it and hopefully you will learn where these thoughts are coming from.
2006-08-31 08:05:36
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answer #6
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answered by Hebrews 11 4
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WELL THIS MY KIND OF GUY I LIKE YOU ALREADY I CAN GIVE YOU ENUF INFORMATION IN THIS DIRECTION. IT'S NOTHING WRONG WHAT YOU DOING I STUDY THIS DRIVE FOR LONG TIME .YOU CAN CURE IT YOU HAVE TO LIVE IT.SOME OF US WERE LIVING IN THE CLOSETS ABED BEING AFRAID TO SEE THE LIGHT ON THE STREETS BUT TIME ARE CHANGING MEN START WEARING SKIRTS MORE AND MORE.you're expressing yourself who you're or please some body if they accept this idea or not also helps to grow spiritually and you experiencing feminine side of you 'cross -dresses once they put female clothing don't want to let it goit's very pleasant and you melt.sometimes when your girlfriend goes for it you almost in the heaven two of you can have a fun together and become two sisters and go shopping downtown to hair dresser and apparently friendship becomes stronger when comes to the sex it is fantasy.so live your dream and live your life to the fullest I'm much older than you and i know where you coming from some women just love this idea and they better husbands.but some dominating women forcing their husbands to cross-dress full time and some goes for sex change so just be aware good luck with your experiments when you go on line enter WNW female masks you pull over and you are smashing beautiful female and all men pissing in the pants from joy
2006-08-31 08:27:46
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answer #7
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answered by george p 7
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I don't think there's anything wrong with you. Lots of guys cross-dress, but have completely normal hetero sexual lives, getting married and having kids. Just always be sure that whatever woman you are with knows, so that she doesn't find out 5 years into your marriage that you've been borrowing her clothes and that's why the elastic in all her skirts and the collars in her sweaters are stretched out.
And if you can't even do that, just tell everybody that you think Dennis Rodman kicks ***, and remember that once a year you can go whole hog and not get made fun of: Halloween.
2006-08-31 07:57:22
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answer #8
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answered by concretebrunette 4
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Listen to Carolmerel. You're okay and not alone. Lot's of guys feel this way. Find some people in your area to share this with - a SAFE place. Unfortunately, not everyone is tolerant, but many are. I know a man who struggled with this for a long time and when he finally shared it with his wife she said something along the lines of "I wish you had told me sooner! I could have helped you dress up and it could add spice to our love life."
By the way, women dress like men all the time and no one gives them a second look. Our society needs more tolerance!
2006-08-31 08:08:50
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answer #9
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answered by wicked64 2
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The bible says not to be effeminate, so the more you entertain the thoughts of this the more likely you will want to do those things, then who knows what is next. Save yourself some headaches and replace a thought of cross dressing with a thought of something else that makes you happy.
2006-08-31 07:57:41
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answer #10
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answered by ? 7
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