i saw a flock of butterfly ghosts in twilight flying by
a myriad of lifetimes have i seen my lovers die
astral like i travel through the souless voids i cry
trapped in webs of karmic chains
i hear the angels sigh
and bloody teardrops feed the angry demons
in my void filled eyes
2006-08-31 07:38:37 · 11 answers · asked by darkangel1111 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
i love poetry/ i like to write and i like to draw, my avatar is my own painting:)
2006-08-31 07:39:22 · update #1
Yes, it is good. If you'll use more alliteration, your poems will get that rhythm, which will increase its penetration. The thought is good.
2006-08-31 07:52:04 · answer #1 · answered by Jennifer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it but u use a lot of I'd say "unusual" words. I like poetry that gives the message to u straight away and this just isn't it. I probably confused u but oh well.
2006-08-31 14:44:47 · answer #2 · answered by Jami C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should put it to music
Unlike you I`m better at writing the music than the lyrics.
Does your poem deal with love lost? Or is that too literal?
2006-08-31 14:51:38 · answer #3 · answered by grafixo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it has really good flow, but its alittle dark for me. Good though.
2006-08-31 14:41:36 · answer #4 · answered by Ron B. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i really like your poem. very good flow keep it up.
2006-08-31 14:44:17 · answer #5 · answered by Special 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it!
2006-08-31 14:41:23 · answer #6 · answered by Skydiver 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
normal
2006-08-31 14:40:54 · answer #7 · answered by cute sam 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's just awesome...keep up
good luck
2006-08-31 14:42:24 · answer #8 · answered by CherOkeeGurL 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I love it.
2006-08-31 14:41:33 · answer #9 · answered by Forgotten Memories 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ahh no
2006-08-31 14:50:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋