I am a straight man and am happily married. i have noticed all my life that i have had sexual feelings for men. Is that wrong to be like that or is it normal for straight men?
2006-08-31 07:23:11 · 14 answers · asked by Calvin 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I don't think you will ever get a straight man to admit to that, I hate labels but here goes. I think your bi and take it from me who is the same married and in the closet it doesn't get any easier as you get older. Best Wishes
PS. It's OK to be Bi
Update: Wow I'm so happy to see nice people answering this question this person has asked :)
Update again: well almost all LOL
2006-08-31 07:32:17 · answer #1 · answered by Super 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you've had feelings all your life it doesn't sound like you're straight at all, even though you're married. "Happily married" means what, you have a great emotional AND physical relationship with your wife, i.e., you enjoy having sex with her? Because that would be the only thing that would "qualify" you as being bi. It sounds to me like your gay, you got married to a woman because you either thought it was the "right" thing to do because of society, and/or family/friends issues. I don't know you, but I'd be shocked if you really enjoyed sex with women, I think you're probably best friends with your wife, which is why you made the statement "happily married"
Listen, you're not doing her any favors by staying with her, she deserves to be free to pursue happiness elsewhere. And you aren't doing yourself any favors not accepting that you're attracted to men, and acting on that, because I'm pretty sure if you did you'd be a lot happier. You're living a lie, AND you're involving another person in that lie. If you experiment with men, and I'm sure that's not long off, while you're still with her it's going to be devastating for everyone. If she found out she'd NEVER believe you if you told her the truth which is that you've always had these feelings, she'll think it's something she's done wrong. Do the right thing and confront your feelings head on, right away, because this thing isn't going to just go away. You'll be able to live with yourself a lot easier if you either tell her how you feel, and ask for her understanding, or leave her.
I'm sorry if this comes off as harsh, but you said you've felt this way all your life, so.........it's time to face it.
2006-08-31 15:09:19 · answer #2 · answered by libraesque 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, if you are attracted to men, you are not completely straight. But few are - Kinsey's research showed that most people are neither completely straight, nor completely gay. Common sense tells us that - gay men have and do marry and have kids; straight men in jail have sex with other men. Neither would be possible if there was a total rejection of that orientation.
However, just as you might be attracted to other women, that does not mean you should act on those feelings. If you have a loving, happy marriage, just mentally note the people you find attractive, and build them into your private fantasies. You won't hurt anyone that way.
2006-08-31 15:29:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It happens. I wouldn't say that all straight men deal with this problem, but some do. Many give in to their desires and some suffer in silence. Usually the fear of hurting their wife keeps most men from acting on these urges. Critics will say that you can't be happily married AND attracted to men, but they have not walked in your shoes. I would say you cannot be happily married and look at other women. But what do I know.
2006-08-31 14:40:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Guess what your not straight. Your bisexual. You don't have to have sex with another man to make it so. If you have sexual feelings for men and women than that makes you bisexual. It's very normal.
2006-08-31 14:40:55 · answer #5 · answered by Q~T 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm thinking you just like sex period. I've been around many of married men that get a little drunk and decide they want to get all touchy-feely.....then one thing leads .... oh wait .... that wasn't me....geesh ... sorry. Hey -- you are entitled to feelings ... it's a part of who you are. But when it comes time where you want to act on those feelings ... prepare for consequences when the wifey finds out ... and trust me, she will. Hey --- good luck on that!
2006-08-31 15:38:05 · answer #6 · answered by spartexcites 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no such a thing as absolutely straight or absolutely gay... just whether you are man or woman enough to admit it.
It is more often to question such things like this during puberty and a little afterwards...
2006-09-03 23:17:16 · answer #7 · answered by guicoder 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
some would say bi-curious, others would say closet case. i don't know you or the intensity of your feelings so i can't say for sure, but i recommend you not act on them while you're married. i'm certain 90% of straight men will swear they have no such thoughts, and being 100% gay who am i to say.............good luck!!!
2006-09-01 01:03:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what you may have been feeling is merely your love for the person, not pure sexuality or gayness. it's not gay (or sexual) to love another person of the same sex! the expression - which may have been the only way you could process it - may have felt sexual to you but I'm sure it wasn't. I wouldn't worry you seem normal to me.
2006-08-31 15:19:38 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are bisexual but dont worry that makes you in the majority. You may not be gay check out g0ys.org alot of g0y are bisexual. We are men interested in men but not into anal sex and not into gender bending. We follow biblical principles to guide our lives and condon and justify our attractions and actions.
Of the homosexual community we are the kosher catches.
2006-08-31 15:33:28 · answer #10 · answered by ♂ Randy W. ♂ 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋