My 13 year old step daughter recently asked if I would adopt her. She has not visited with her biological mother in over three years, despite the fact that we live 10 miles apart. Her mother doesn't call, write, or in any other fashion communicate with her. Well, she got the paperwork and went nuts. Said we would get this done over her dead body. Will this make it more difficult when we go before the Judge? We do have a report on file from a court ordered evaluator from back 6-7 years ago when husband was awarded custody that she would go weeks into months without contact.
2006-08-31 06:57:24 · 6 answers · asked by working mom of 3 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It depends on the law in your state. If the bio-mom will not give up her parental rights, you may not be able to. I hope the judge will listen to your daughter. (It sounds to me like she is your daughter and you are her mom. That's why I didn't write "step-daughter".)
2006-08-31 07:06:36 · answer #1 · answered by Otis F 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It will make it more difficult, but certaintly not impossible. These situations crop up more than you might think. One area of leverage you might have is on child support. The bio mom should be paying it even without custody. If she is not, you could take her to court for that, then agree to drop it in exchange for consideration on the adoption issue. This is harsh, but your step daughter is 13 and you must be a good parent anyway for a 13yr old to relate to you in this way.
If things don't work out on the adoption front, please remember this: A biological mother is not always a mom. Only a the person who raises and cares for a child can be that. In other words, it sounds as if you are already a mom.
Good luck, I hope your child gets what is best for her.
2006-08-31 14:14:37 · answer #2 · answered by Spork 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sister is in a similar situation. The bio-mom has had no contact with the child after abandonment when the child was 6 months old. She is now six years old. Last year, the bio-mom asked for visitation, and the judge would not allow it unless she took parenting classes, then they would re-look at the case. She has not taken the classes. My sister is afraid to try to adopt her b/c she is afraid the mom will start those classes and regain the ability for visitation... which is not what she wants b/c this woman is a real piece... Anyway, each state has different rules for what is considered to be abandonment. Good luck though, plus your child is 13, in most states, she is considered old enough to make up her own mind.
2006-08-31 15:02:54 · answer #3 · answered by surelycoolgirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your step daughter is old enough to decide who will be her true mother. The judge will take into account her testimony and what she wants. Also please mention the fact that the birth mother makes very little if any atempt to be a part of her daughters life and ask her why she is so against you adopting her daughter.
2006-08-31 14:00:32 · answer #4 · answered by lunitari601 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i say go for it. your stepdaughter is old enough to decide who she wants for a mother and besides her own mother doesn't even spend time with her. i'm sure the judge will take this into account when he/she makes the decision
2006-08-31 14:04:01 · answer #5 · answered by buttons 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hot looking police hat on yah, working mom.
2006-08-31 13:59:31 · answer #6 · answered by Tones 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋