Do I really love him?

Question

I have been with my fiance for 2 years. We have a 5 month old son together. He's cheated on me in the past and I have forgiven him. I really find myself not in love with him anymore. He loves me so much and I truely do know this but I don't think I love him as much back. We constantly fight and argue over stupid things and it's taking a toll on our relationship. We've been to counselling once and it didn't help at all. I know relationships don't come easy so do I work through this or go my own way? It's so hard when you have a child together because I am thinking I am just staying aruond because of our son. Anyone been through this?

Answer 1

It's hard to get over being cheated on. But the past is the past. It can't be changed. It's very hard to find someone who truly loves you. If he does as you say. The relationship is worth saving.
Try recalling the things that attracted you to him in the first place. See if you can't find them again.
A relationship has to be worked on. If he doesn't take the initiative, then you should try. You have the foundation of a good marriage.
Remember this.....The next guy may be worse than him.

Answer 2

I have not been through that but...it sounds like you have a very tough decision to make. I don't think that you love him just because a person in love doesn't need to ask. So, I think that I totally agree with you. Is he a good father to your son? Maybe something can be worked out. I'm really sorry for your position, I hope that you can work things out for the best-whatever that may be.
Another thing, just because he cheated once does not mean that he will do it again. He may have had a serious wake-up call. Was he close to losing you or, did he feel that he was?
Anyway, if you are feeling the way that you are my advice is not to get married until you are 100% sure of how you feel. Maybe, the right thing is not to be married to him, maybe it is. Like I said, you are in a rough spot and need some serious time to think.

Answer 3

I have been in sort of the same situation. My EX cheated on me also and we had a 2 year old child at the time. At first he left and said he did not want to come back, but after a couple of months he tried coming around again saying that if there was a chance for us he would leave her and come back. By this time I was already really hurt. Part of me wanted to get back and be the way we were at one time, but the (smarter) part of me realized that it will never be the same and that I would never truly be able to trust him again. So I went through a lot of pain but did not go back. I got over it and am doing great on my own, found a new man who is great, started all over. Never have been happier. It is not worth living your life with somebody that you are not happy with when you have a choice to go out and find somebody who will truly make you happy. The father of your child should and could be a father no matter what! Good luck.

Answer 4

Well until you trully love him don't marry him. If counseling didn't work then maybe its not meant to be, give it some more time , even try counseling again with a different counsellor , it doesn't hurt to try. But don't stay in a relationship that you are not happy with because of your baby, your child will sense you are not happy and its not good for kids to grow up in a house where the parents don't get along

Answer 5

Well think about it! If you guys are already arguing all the time and going to concealing. What makes you think it's gonna get better!!! Marriage is a big step in life, you have to really want it.. Now in days there is so many divorces because people relies that's not the person they wanted for the rest of their life's. It's not easy!!!!! If he cheated already on you and you guys are only dating, what makes you think he's not gonna do it when you decide to get married? Now if you are staying around only for the baby. Then your not only hurting yourself, your hurting him too. If the relationship gets worst your child is going to be brought up in a violent family. It's not worth it!! I wish you the best.....

Answer 6

If you are asking the question you already know the answer...

All is not lost however you and your fiance should seek marriage counseling what you have is a psuedomarriage all you currently lack is a legal paper stating you are married..

Marriage counseling can either help you two work through your problems or help you seperate amicably for the sake of your child..

Answer 7

It just seems like you two need a break.

Here is my story and see if it will help you:
My fiance and I have been together for 6 years. We got together when we were both young 16/17. Had our first child right after I turned 17. We have lived together ever since. We have broken up a few times and he has moved out. It would seem like he when we were together he wouldn't want to be with me but when we were apart he would want to be iwth me. I felt like I didn't love him anymore because I was sick and tired of the way he was acting. i was tired of fighting and tired of all the nonsense. I wanted to grow up and he didn't. He still wanted to hang out with his freinds and bull crap but I didn't. Then I found out he cheated on me and that was the last straw. I broke it off with him and told him to go on his way. He did. At first we would talk on the phone and it seemed like it was just going to be back the same way it was. But then I just quit. I quit answering it and calling him, I just ignored him. I let him see his daughter when I felt it was a good time. He tried to use her against me but I just ignored it. After all the mother has full custody until the judge says other wise. So that was that. We were apart for a good six months. Doing what we wanted, when we wanted. And then it just seemed like I started to miss him. I started to miss our family. So we started talking again. We started off as friends and then went to counciling. (you have to go to counciling for more than one day) and we started to rekindle.

It seems like when you aren't together you grow more. You see what you always overlooked before. You don't take thing for granted. Once we started talking again it seemed like he would do anything to spend time with me. He would do anything to talk to me on the phone. And after some time of this we got back together.

It seems that we were just so young when we got together and were together for so long that all we needed was a break. And time to think as adults what we wanted to do.

It worked for us because we are together now and have been for quite some time. With another child on the way. Being apart honestly helped us grow closer.

Now maybe it will work for you or maybe it won't. All you can do is try.

Answer 8

how can you think he "loves you so much" and say you know this when he has cheated on you? kids learn what they see, is it fair for your son to grow up thinking all this is ok? dont stay for your son either way he has a mother and a father and its best if he doesnt see you guys fighting all the time. and you deserve to be happy!!

Answer 9

So your bf can't keep his pants on? What a jewel.
Leave him; get a job to support yourself and your son. I hope the grand parents can help you raise your son. Next time, get married before you have another child, good luck.

Answer 10

you don't love him. he has hurt you too bad in the past and you can't overcome this. you should not love him. he has hurt you in the worst possible way. and if he loved you, he would never have cheated on you.