What should we do about my little sister's teacher?

Question

My family just moved to another state and while I am homeschooled, my little sister just started a new public school. She is in the fourth grade and while she just started going about a week and a half ago, we are already having problems with her teacher. For one thing, she scraped her knee the other day and went to tell the teacher. So the teacher said, "Are you going to die?" and my little sister said, "No." Then the teacher asked, "Are you sure?" and my sister said "Yes." However, it really hurt her feelings.
We live in a rural area. So the other day this teacher decides to tell the kids for no apparent reason, "If you go to New York and tell them you're from this area, they will call you a hillbilly." Now, my family is from New York and found two things wrong with this. One, not all people in New York will do that and we were offended that she would say something like that. Two, why should this teacher teach and encourage hurtful labels?
Should we have to put up with this?

If this behavior is wrong for a teacher, which we think it is, what can we do about it? We want my sister to be happy and encouraged in her educational environment. We would consider homeschooling her, except that she doesn't want to be homeschooled.

Answer 1

Well most people that want to be teachers do not have the mentality to be a teacher. I would talk to the school Administrators about this. The problem seems to be that the teacher has no Tact when talking to children. This is something that needs to be addressed soon. By the way I just read J.D. answer saying that the teacher has to prepare the students for the outside world. Well JD how does telling kids they are going to be called Hillbillies helping them. Think about it dude. you are just old and set in your ways.

Answer 2

I would talk with the teacher after school or ask for a conference with her. Ask her if she realizes how she is making the kids feel. I agree, that they don't need to be babied at that age and that there are certain things that they will do that aren't going to "kill them", but there is also a proper way to handle things. With our children, if they're not bleeding or haven't cut a limb off or if we can tell they're not really hurt, we just encourage them they are ok and to get back up and get after what they were doing.

It sounds to me like your little sister may be a little bit sensitive, and being in a public school (while I don't approve of them) will help her learn not to be. She's going to have to learn how life is and how it will treat her from all aspects, regardless of how she is handled. Remember - life isn't about what we go through, it's about how we handle it. This will make her a better, more rounded person, I believe.

However, if you still have problems with the teacher doing things like this, you could go to the vice principal or principal and make them aware of it. If things don't change, then you can decide to either keep her there or take her out and homeschool her. Hope that this helps!

Answer 3

It sounds like a personality conflict. Some people are extremely sensitive and others are extremely insensitive.

Teachers do things that are a lot worse than this. I've heard many stories from parents about teachers who don't bother to teach and I've seen it first hand.

So, this teacher is rude and your sister is a young child. If she were older, it might be a good experience learning how to deal with someone like her teacher. Perhaps for now your parents should just let the teacher know that their daughter is sensitive and needs to be handled gently.

My daughter's teacher had 22 grammatical errors and weaknesses in the first letter she sent to parents. I sat down with her to address reality and hand her some information on web sites that would help her with her difficulties. Doing this resulted in a two hour meeting with a director who also had language arts difficulties. It didn't turn out well and my daughter is being homeschooled as we speak. So be prepared!

Answer 4

I would recommend that you go to the principal and if won't do anything then go to the Board of Education. But if you do this and the teacher gets in trouble then it might be even worse for your little sister because the teacher would take things out on her. I would think the best thing to do is to continue to monitor the teacher and if it persists do what I said before. And if the teacher takes it out on your sister then you should probably change her schools.

Answer 5

Here's the reality of the situation. Your sister's teacher is a very ignorant person for encouraging harmful stereotypes, but you can't avoid all bad teachers or all bad experiences in life. If you report her or put her on the defensive too much, your sister will probably suffer in that class or in the school in general. Could your mom or dad send her a polite note asking for a face to face meeting, and then explain nicely why this comment was hurtful and inappropriate?

Answer 6

I'm afraid I have to side with the teacher on this one.
If your sister hurt her knee very badly I'm sure the teacher would have taken the necessary steps to get it taken care of.
Her job is to help prepare the young folks for life on the outside.
Self-sufficiency is one of those so-badly needed. It's tough out there and the kids have got to learn to take care of themselves, because they aren't getting that kind of training at home like they should be. The parents say "let the schools handle that", but when the educators do that the parents still want to preside and dictate the process. That's not helping the kids at all.
As far as the New York remark... she's right. You're either the exception or in denial of the fact that whether you do it or not, the majority of people (not all, but a lot) in large towns DO look down their noses at people from more rural areas and automatically label them as "hicks, rednecks, hayseeds and yes, hillbillies". They do the same thing here in Atlanta to me and I was born only 65 miles North of town.
I'm not saying that they ARE hillbillies, I'm saying that she is addressing the issue of how they will probably be regarded by others. Some call it Social Skills and others call it reality.
It's preparation for the future instead of just letting them find out on their own later...just like the preconceived notions of those who use the expression "dude". The children have got to develop a lot thicker "skin" to get along in the future and not be so easily-offended or quick to judge without rationalization.
Otherwise all that's going to happen is another generation of self-entitled pacifists will emerge.

Answer 7

I support the teacher fully on this one. Little kids get hurt all the time. To ease the pain we joke with them about it. I use the "are you dying?" phrase all the time. Because in public school that is what it takes to get the nurse to help you. They usually get a giggle and move on. If she was hurt and told the teacher I am sure the teacher would apologize whole-heartedly.

As for the "hill-billy" comment. Find out the context. Comments like that are often used not as an insult but as a demonstration of cultural differences and labels.

It sounds to me like you are really badly over-reacting. Meet with the teacher and find out what really happened and the context. And, in 4th grade it is time to deal with the reality of the world and it is our job as teachers to teach them those skills.

Answer 8

I used to teach and I know that many times what you say is taken the wrong way and effects a lot of people. Talk to the teacher about the situation, tell her you don't appreciate the comments, and ask her to stop. If things don't change you can talk to the principal or the superintendant. If this does not work, take it to the school board.

Answer 9

Go straight to the principle and tell him or her what you have stated here. Tell them that you want her in a new class right away. If that doesn't get the problem taken care of, then go to the school board and tell them. No child should be treated like that. She is going to start hating to go to school if something isn't done.

Answer 10

1. Why are you the only homeschooler.

2. If that little stuff upset her she is weak and needs to get toughened up.

3. You're not in the city now, whiners and pansies are not tolerated. You have to adapt to the area, the area does not have to adapt to you. If you can't hack it in the country. go back to the city.