How do I know if the way i feel is right or if im just so confused that I can't tell anymore?

Question

Have been in a relationship for two years, three times i have almost tried to break up with him. the last time this past fri. I don't get out alot, am never really without him by my side. I don't know if Im being stupid and selfish, or if he isn't the one for me. I've agonized over this for so long, i get so depressed and want to cry and sleep, sometimes not ever wake up. Don't know what to do..my dad says i should see a therapist to let out all the stuff i hide. my family never was talkers. i guess the things that we argue about are how he pushes stuff off, i try to explain things and he gets angry. we've had the discussion that i feel like i am walking on eggshells and i dont know how to tell him stuff. I just dont know if its just me and that ive got way to much suff to think about and sort out or if he isn't right for me.. we have overcome many obstacles together, but how do you know your in love? Is it possible for that to be clouded with to much stuff to think about?

Ok, so last time we got in a fight i told him i wasn't brking up just wanted to move into sep apts. and have alone time..told him i needed to learn how to be by myself etc..Im not even 23 yet. my dad says that it statistically takes up to 6 times to actually break up..i always end up crying, feeling like its all my fault. all my friends at work say im right, but i dont know....

Answer 1

ya see a therapist nd' break up wiit hiim

Answer 2

I really feel for you, emotions are never easy to define :-) I can't really answer the question about what it means/feels like to be in love, I don't think anyone really knows, I don't even know if it really exists... But one thing I do know is that you should never have to feel like you're walking on eggshell with someone who claims to love and care about you.

I do think that staying in this relationship may not be the best thing for both of you--you're not being fair to yourself by denying yourself a sense of peace and contentment by staying and depriving yourself of a social life outside of this relationship, and you're not doing him any favours by staying either because you're both feeding into each other's unhappiness at the moment.

I think your father's right about seeking counselling, because the wanting to sleep and cry all the time sounds like it could be the beginnings of a depressive episode, and the sooner you address this the better your chances of coming through it as painlessly as possible.

Most importantly, you are a young woman with great opportunities right now to go out there and experience life and grow, don't deprive yourself of that.

Answer 3

You are certainly confused that is the only thing of which you can be certain. I would suggest merely that you do not get caught up so much on it - you are what you are and you wrap your persona around yourself and live that which you decide to live. Choose a new dance, walk a new path, leave the city - break away from what you believe is hold you down - feel the freedom that every other human knows and feels - just as sometimes bad work situations get you so do lives pasttimes - skip it, move along - decide to be in control.

Answer 4

Depends on how you define love for one thing. Love in the Bible and dictionary is kind, gentle, considerate, soft and giving. Are both of you doing that? Doesn't SOUND as though both of you are. It does NOT include arguing, walking on eggshells, having to stuff your own feelings, and "pushing stuff off." You can be addicted to somebody and they to you but that's not love. AND, even if what you describe IS love, why put yourself through the pain? It doesn't matter a bit how you define love. What does matter is that you not lose yourself, your self love, your self-respect, and your honor in any way at any time in any relationship. If yours doesn't measure up, you know what you need to do, right? If you aren't happy, content, satisfied, and don't look forward to contact with him, IT ISN'T RIGHT, no matter what he or anybody else says.

Answer 5

O sweets: I completely understand the wanting time to yourself. So you just have to tell him that. If you dont go out very much maybe you need some new friends who can take you out. Try www.myspace.com and create a profile and then check out locals in your age bracket around your area. Make NEW friends to go out with. Maybe if you had close friends that you could talk to, you wouldnt feel so clouded with your own thoughts all the time.

Answer 6

You do know when you are in love, I didn't think that was true until I found the right guy. When you are in love and he loves you then you bring out the best in each other. You don't have the kind of problems that you describe. Even if you do need to talk to someone, it doesn't mean he is the right one for you.

Take the time away from him, straighten yourself out and then start to think about what you want for yourself. You shouldn't be in a relationship unless you have your own head straight first.

Good Luck!

Answer 7

Idk how old you are, but it's never too late to just take a break and go out with some other people. Trust me if you're really in love you'll find no one compares to him and you can't stop thinking about him and you will find eachother again. But someone that is hard to talk to about problems is not a great person to have as a life long partner.

Answer 8

only u know what the truth is