My wife is a lesbian and wants a divorce, what should I do?

Question

I met my wife in church, we married only after knowing each other a month, a year later she told me she was a lesbian and wanted to marry me to get out of her parents home. 2 to 3 years in to our marriage at church we signed a "marriage covenant contract"! We should have separated before our daughter was born or before we signed the contract "I know"! It has been five years and we have a 3 yr old daughter. After five years my wife finally wants out of the marriage, she has confessed already being with a "woman"! And also to me she seems like she is neglecting our child as well. The problem is we live in Louisiana and have a "marriage covenant", I am physically disabled and we have a child, I am on disability "ssi" as well! Lawyers want money and my wife wants out! I do not know what to do or what direction to turn, I can take care of my child to a certain extent!

Does anybody have any suggestions?

If you'd like to correspond via e-mail my e-mail address is Eric@Ineed2repent

Look up marriage covenant you'll see what the definition is! It is legally binding in court!
She works for 40+ hrs a week, she wants joint custody of our child, I have people who agreed to help you with my daughter, but my "wife" does not want that! I am in a wheelchair!

Answer 1

Ouch.... Well I will say this whats done is done, and she seems to have made up her mind. Does she want to take the child with her when she leaves? Is she involved with a woman at this time? There actually seems there is nothing you can do at this time, but let her move on. The only concern is your daughter and you have to do what you can I am not sure of how severe your disability is, but talk to her tell her neither of you can afford the expense of attorneys and agree on something. Good Luck.

Answer 2

I have no idea what a "marriage covenant" is, but at least she is being honest with you which is better than a fake happy home life based on deception. My experience has been that in the south you guys can be very overzealous about religion, and homosexuality is not tolerated. If she came from a strict home, imagine how her life has been, she's basically felt like an outsider all her life. Sit down with her and tell her your main priority is the healthy upbringing of your child. There is nothing wrong with two women raising a child, she will not "turn" into a lesbian. Ask her what are her parenting plans? Is she involved with someone currently? Remember...the best thing for a child is a HEALTHY PARENT. If you put your wife down or make her feel bad, trust me your child will feel it, so put your child first and let your wife know you will be supportive and do whatever you can to make the best situation for your daughter. You may be surprised at what comes out of that.

Good luck to you and your family.

Answer 3

That's too bad. Agree that the only way you will get a divorce is without attorneys. They just complicate matters, just make sure to spell out what each parent wants clearly. There are mediators and other facilitators the court can provide and sometimes free. Just get yourself familiar with all the forms involved and even visit an attorney for a free consultation.

If you feel that she is neglecting your child then she needs to be in a safer environment. Depending on how disabled you are, a disabled person who cares is better than a physically fine person that doesn't care. Are you on meds that effect your judgment? Are you in a wheelchair? Is your disability mental/physical, both? If she is 3 she could be going to preschool or daycare all day and you can then have to only get through the rest of the day til bedtime. It might be difficult but maybe she will learn to be more self sufficient because of you disability.

Answer 4

There is not anything you can do to keep your wife there if she really wants out. Does she plan on leaving your daughter too? If your wife wants the divorce and wants you to have custody of your daughter, then you are not the one who needs the lawyer; let her get and pay for one.

I do not know what a marriage covenant contract is,but if it was in church, I do not know if that would be legally binding by the state.

Since you are on SIS you may be able to get some sort of state or federal assistance for child care. Do you have family who could help? How about someone at your church?

Good luck to you.

Answer 5

You have no option in this matter. She wants out. Let her get out than live a life of lies/pretenses.

You don't necessarily need an attorney if she would remain amicable with you. Ask her for child support and alimony. Do you research first as to what you are legally entitled to. Present her the dollar figures. If she refuses, try to compromise. If she still is resitant, then turn over to an attorney.

Check with your wife's employer if they have an Employee Assistance Program for legals services. Usually, you'll be allowed a 1/2 hour consultation for free. If you use the attorney, there's a 25% discount.

Pick your battles. Don't nickel and dime. It's not worth it.

Get enough to support you and your daughter. Agree to a 50/50 custody. Daughter equally needs both of you. Don't put her in the middle of it. Always think, what is good for your daughter. Not for yourselves.

Answer 6

This is a very difficult situation... I know you married in church and have a contract, but the reality is that she does not want to be with you and you need to accept that.... I know it's easier said than done.. But this situation will just make you a stronger person..

You should into looking for legal aid. They don't ask for much money. It goes by what you can afford. The consulting is free...

The number one thing that is and should be priority is your child. Maybe if you have family around, speak to them and try to see if they will help out with her. You can also look and see if they have programs for people with disability.. There is help, you just have do the research......

I hope all goes well with you.. Keep the faith... Good luck and God Bless!

Answer 7

Has she fairly informed you that or is this basically a terror you have? If she has already informed you she is a lesbian and needs a divorce, i don't see which you have plenty determination. as with every relationship, whilst one considerable different needs out for even though reason, the different considerable different does not have plenty to do yet bypass alongside with it, until of direction it became some thing with regard to the considerable different that would desire to alter the area. asserting that she is gay isn't something which you will replace.

Answer 8

Get divorced. You can do it without lawyers. If you are going to raise your daughter then you should get the house and she should pay child support. Try and get help from relatives in raising your daughter. Tough situation but marrying a lesbian wan't a great idea.

Answer 9

Get the divorce. Call around and talk with different lawyers. She mislead you i'm sure there is someone out there that can help you. It takes time. You will be better off without her. You and your daughter will be fine. You can get people to come help with her to just talk to someone in the disability office and they should be able to give you some pointers on that.
Good luck to you.

Answer 10

Try to have sex with her one more time and if she still wants to be with a woman than i say divorce her. But then again think about your daughter. How do you think she would feel with 2 moms in the same house then a father in another house? So my Advice is Think about all the pros's and con's of staying or divorcing.