Once you've been there and done that what things are you not going to put up with from the next person would you let your kids meet your date? I personally wouldn't unless I was serious but I know people who introduce their kids to everyone, can't understand that.
2006-08-31 06:15:20 · 18 answers · asked by sasha 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
When I began dating again after my divorce I waited 2 month to introduce my boyfriend (now Husband) to my kids.. I wanted to be sure about him before I introduced him to the kids.. Why let your kids get attached to someone unless you are sure you want to keep them around...
I did however show him photographs of my kids on our 3rd date, I was up front about how much the kids mean to me and told him I wouldn't be introducing them until I was sure about our relationship... He understood perfectly the need to protect the kids from forming bonds that could easily evaporate should our relationship not work out...
2006-08-31 06:24:17 · answer #1 · answered by Diane (PFLAG) 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was single for 3 1/2 years before I dated someone seriously. My kids didn't meet anyone in all that time. I agree that you don't involve the kids unless you believe there is a future with the new person. Once you realize that the relationship is headed somewhere serious, then you introduce the children and take it slow. Give everyone time to adjust and don't rush. There is just no hurry.
This was the approach I have taken so far and every thing is running pretty smooth. They only see my boyfriend on the weekends they are with me. My boyfriend stays with me when the kids are at their dad's house and at his own place when the kids are with me. We will move it to the next step when we think they are ready and not until.
2006-08-31 13:27:28 · answer #2 · answered by Christina 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well when I was dating my kids did meet a couple of people but they met them in social settings where they would have seen them whether I was dating that person or not (like at a mutual friends kids b-day party was one, at a community BBQ was another) I didn't introduce that person to my children as hey this is the guy mommy went out with friday or anything, just this is my friend so and so. It was different with the guy I am seeing now to, he is my best friends other best friend so we crossed paths many times and he already had met my kids and they liked him before I did LOL. I won't put up with anything anymore. If a man won't help around the house after work just the same as me then he can go fly a kite. If he wants to sit on his bum and watch TV all the time he can do it elsewhere. If he can't be happy with one woman every day even when times are a little rough then he needs to move to another country. I've really turned into a B****.
2006-08-31 13:36:33 · answer #3 · answered by Red 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Introducing the kids right away is a bad idea....scares off some men. However, let you new beau know you have children right away. Like my second husband, he probally won't want to meet the kids until things are serious, as he won't want the kids or himself to get too attached to each other in case things don't work out. It protects everyones feeling this way. And when the time comes, he may end up loving the children as if they were his own. My second husband adopted my daughter from my first marriage because hes really the only Daddy shes ever known. My ex-husband hasn't made contact with her since she was 5 months old...she 6 years old now. And as for what you won't put up with...consider your first marriage a lesson in, and what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Good luck.
2006-08-31 13:31:22 · answer #4 · answered by Julie W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Halleluih for dating after divorce. Sometimes it's good to let the children meet whoever your dating. They'll feel your not keeping secrets. On the other hand they may be resentful of any one new because it's not their dad.
Yeah, your standards are going to be different and less flexible, because you have your children to consider. It's not so much your picking out a new daddy for them, but someone for you to spend time with. Then again it's difficult making sure he is someone that will interact well with the children.
Be wary also of the men that try to be close to the kids to get to you. Trying to show what a good father they'd make. Been there, done that.
It's not easy dating after divorce. But is possible and can have a great turn out. Take it slow, feel your way through, watch your children's reactions.
2006-08-31 13:31:09 · answer #5 · answered by Balou 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a male friend who is divorced and has 3 little girls. He found himself in a serious relationship and after 6 months he introduced her to the kids. The kids love her and all three girls have bonded with the g/f. She takes the daughters shopping, does crafts with them and they all went to Disneyland together. A year later, the relationship is starting to crap out and he's really concerned about how his children will react if he dumps her cause they really like her.
2006-08-31 15:00:51 · answer #6 · answered by Tony 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People should NEVER introduce their kids to a new date or bf/gf unless they feel completely comfortable with them and know their background and even THEN. show good judgment.
2006-08-31 14:33:43 · answer #7 · answered by tony 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Introduce the kids only when you are ready. Getting their feedback is important at some stage. If you do it too early or too often, they will grow weary of the exercise.
2006-08-31 13:18:59 · answer #8 · answered by Cary Grant 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would only let my kids meet the person if it was serious.I have been dating someone for a year now and I just told my son a month ago about her.......
2006-08-31 13:24:18 · answer #9 · answered by jeff402006 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well i think u have answered ur own question!!
dont introduce him if u dont want to unless its the man u intend to settle down with
2006-08-31 13:23:54 · answer #10 · answered by Miss-Kenya 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋