My wife is wonderful. She works a full time job and helps around the house alot. However, I work full time and go to school full time at night. I try to make her feel loved and appreciated all the time. I will do anything she asks of me. Even if it is bringing her dinner at her work after I have worked all day and gone to school or whatever. Most of my days are 14-15 hours away from home (minimum), plus homework. She only works a max of 35 hours per week. I love a clean house and she has a hard time getting motivated to clean and then she bats her eyes and tells me how much she loves me so I will not get upset. But sometimes I still do. I understand she works and we have talked and she knows how I feel, but sometimes she still does not "need" it as clean as I do and does not want to work on getting it clean. What can I do?
2006-08-31 06:11:54 · 16 answers · asked by Lostlover 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It sounds to me like you are both "giving". Maybe lower your standards alittle about the house. It doesn't have to be spotless you know?
2006-08-31 06:40:55 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can afford it, maybe you could use a professional house cleaner once a week. OR you could do the jobs around the house that you can do while doing homework such as laundry. You could saty in the basement put in a load of clotthes and then do your homework at the same time then your wife would have 1 less thing to do so now she can clean.
Maybe you could compromise, just accept that the house is not a complete mess, even if its not as 'clean 'as you want it she probably feels that you both should share the housework so since you ca'nt do your share because of school she's not gonna spend too much time cleaning. Maybe its just her personality..don't stress it.
2006-08-31 13:25:32 · answer #2 · answered by ayanagin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if the house is reasonably clean than I can understand her not "needing" it as clean as you do becasue if it's not a dusty mess and you know where everything is it's liveable. Why don't you divide the major chores that NEED to be done such as dishes. Others that are done once a week or one a month give a little more with. If it's somethnig that cna wait but you prefer it more often then go ahead and do it or wait on it a little longer. Talk to her about helping you when shes there, the sooner it's dont the sooner you can enjoy your time together.
2006-08-31 13:20:33 · answer #3 · answered by K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds corny, but make a job sheet that lists each one's responsibilities. Or, if you can afford it, get someone to come in once a week or a couple times a month to clean. I have this problem with my fiance. We both work full time, but most of the household chores fall to me. Some things I've implemented are that he is totally responsible for mowing the lawn and dealing with all things cat (litter, etc.). I have also enstated a rule that we EACH have to fold 5 pieces of laundry per day and put it away.
2006-08-31 13:14:11 · answer #4 · answered by ndtaya 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If u are both working full time, i think it's cheaper to get a housekeeper than pay a marriage counselor. If u value ur marriage a lot....do something about it. u didnt mention if u have kids....if there's only 2 of you...how can u mess up the house that bad...both of u should maintain it clean and on ur days off clean together...how hard can that be.......cleaning and messing up is like dancing the tango.......if u want the house as clean as u want it to be....maintain it....after u both clean it on weekends.....
2006-08-31 13:31:07 · answer #5 · answered by ♦cat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same issues, the only thing that works is to explain your frustration and try to work out a schedule that fits her needs and yours, but you have to throw in some play time, because you know all work and no play makes for a sad relationship.
2006-08-31 13:16:36 · answer #6 · answered by loser 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
STOP BEING A FREAK. LET HER CLEAN WHEN SHE IS GOOD AND READY. I UNDERSTAND YOU DO NIGHT SCHOOLING BUT YOU KNOW THAT WAS YOUR CHOICE. GET A MAID FOR ONE DAY OUT OF THE WEEK AND THEN THE HOUSE MAY BE A LITTLE EASIER TO KEEP CLEAN. I HOPE YOU CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF AND NOT EXPECTING YOUR WIFE TO DO IT.
2006-08-31 13:19:13 · answer #7 · answered by Lady Dee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can make it to Saturday let that be clean up day so you both can do together
2006-08-31 13:19:25 · answer #8 · answered by missmadhatter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to Home Depot. In aisle 4, you will find balls on sale.
2006-08-31 13:18:56 · answer #9 · answered by Shyguy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a sincere and honest heart-to-heart talk together. know what is expected of you and let her know hers.communication is very important in a lasting relationship.
2006-08-31 13:21:21 · answer #10 · answered by sankara 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋