my 15 yeear old daughter wants out out?

Question

my 15 year old daughter is a junior in a charter high school she always complained about how she hate the the fact that they wear uniform and all the homework but she came to me tuesday a day after their first day of school and said she wanted to transfer i ask why she said she was sick of the school I DONT AGREE WITH HER DECISION AND WON'T LET HER TRANSFER WHAT WOULD YOU DO THE ONLY SCHOOL THAT WOULD TAKE HER IS HER ZONE SCHOOL AND IT'S NOT THAT GREAT and I also feel she has only one more year why leave now

Answer 1

If she's not happy there she will probably show it in grades or performance, socially even as well. If there's an alternative that works, and SHE's happy, I'd persue that. It's her education and her school life, as long as is willing to work and do her best wherever SHE is happy being, then I would let her do it.

Answer 2

Why stay? She clearly doesn't like it there. Staying will just make her resent the school (and you) more. That resentment will keep her from learning effectively because she is concentrating on how much she doesn't want to be there instead of what is being taught. It's better to let her go to the other school and learn something even if the school is not that great, because your other option is having her learn next to nothing and being resentful in the process.
You are the parent and you make the final decision, and that makes it all the more important that you not make an arbirtary one. It may be your first reaction to say no, but your first recation may not be the best one. Find out a little more information from her. You said she always disliked it, but why is she suddenly disliking it enough to want to transfer? It seems to me that something has happened to make her feel this way. Get all the information you can, and base your decsion on that.
I agree she should have asked for a transfer sooner, but at this point you have nothing to lose by trying to help her here. Sit her down and tell her that you understand why she doesn't like the school she is in, and if her reasons for wanting to transfer are sound, let her know that you are willing to look into transferring her if she will make a commitment to learning at this new school. Remind her that she may hate the new school even more. It may work out, it may not. It's better she experience the consequences of her actions and learn to make decisions now in a relatively safe way, then do it later and be really hurt or not know what to do.

Answer 3

You are the parent, so you have to ask yourself if there are any valid reasons that she is so unhappy. The uniform alone isn't the problem. There must be something going on that she is so unhappy at that school. I would do some additional digging and find out the true story. It is very odd for someone who has been at a school this long to want out.

If there are reasons for her wanting to change, there isn't really a problem with public schools. You get out of your education what you put into it. You have some pretty rotten kids in private schools too. She might just be wanting a fresh start. I would find out what is going on and make a more informed decision.

Good Luck!!

Answer 4

I had the same thing happen to me when I was 15 and ya know what? Once I turned 16 I dropped out. I say let her transfer. You really do not have a say after she is 16 and you cant make her move out either, it will just be something you have to deal with. So if you want her to do right in school and stay there, make her happy and let her transfer... atleast she wants to stay in and is giving the option of you transfering her.

Answer 5

Wouldnt' it be nice if we could all just escape the things that bug us?!?
Your daughter should stay put. You're right: she only has one more year. Why leave now? Encourgae her passions and her interests and get her sights set on the positives. It's normal to feel overwhelmed at the beginning of a new year. See if there's anything you could do to make this easier for her. Tell her to give it more time, and then talk about her feelings again in a month or so. If she's still struggling, look at the options, but don't promise anything. You are the mom.

Answer 6

Find out the real reason she wants out. Make her convince you that it's the best decision.

If she just doesn't like the work and the uniform, and she thinks transferring to a new school will solve her dislikes, then that's not a good reason. We have to do a lot of things as adults that we don't particularly like, but that's just part of life.

Again, sit down with her and tell her to give you a compelling reason. Listen to her, and if she presents her story and convinces you, then maybe she has a point. However, if she doesn't convince you, then she just wants out because there's something she doesn't like, which isn't a good reason.

Answer 7

You should take the time to really sit down and listen to her. She is the one that has to deal with the situation not you. You are not there everyday. Be open minded, try not to put your opinion in and make them law. This is why kids rebel now days. No one wants to listen to them. If your daughter is a good student she is going to be a good student at any school. What does it matter its location?

Answer 8

You're the parent, you make the decisions. She will have plenty of time in life to make her own decisions when she is of age. Besides, one more year is not going to kill her. You can tell her welcome to the real world honey, life is not about "transferring" just because you don't like something. Life is about making the best of any situation, and changing your own behavior to adapt.
Good Luck mom

Answer 9

Ask her why she hates it. If she has a good reason let her transfer if not tell her she has to stick it out.

Answer 10

You have to consider what would be best for your daughter? If she wants out, she wants out. If you make her stay there, she's only going to become rebellious and resent you. Do you want that?