I was Raped by this black man about 4 months ago and i think im pregnant now!!! I done went through all kinds of sickness and now i feel kicking in my stomach!!! If i am i dnt know for sure if it was the rapper or my ex boyfriend which i slept with a few weeks before i was rapped!! I havent told anyone about me being rapped but my family knows im not a virgin so if i am and i have the baby and it is a mixed baby my family is going to think i was sleeping with a black guy!! My family is really racist although im not i dnt want my family to neglect me or the baby!! Many of you would suggest abortion but im a christian and i have strong disbelief against abortion!!!What should i do???????
2006-08-31 05:24:46 · 21 answers · asked by Nicole 1 in Health ➔ Women's Health
You need to go to the doctor immediately.
That is the first thing you should do. Tell the doctor what happened, get tested for diseases, do what the doctor tells you to do. Tell him immediately that you think you are pregnant.
If you are pregnant and you want to keep this child, you need to tell you family truthfully what happened. Even if it is painful for you or hard for them.
If they will not love and care for the baby with you, then you do not need to have them be a part of your new life.
In which case, you need to contact someone at a state agency and tell them you need help quickly. they may be able to find you housing, temporary work, baby items, etc.
And no offense to you but from the tone of your plea, I would bet that you could use a parenting class or two. You probably don't know how to care for an infant. Now is the time to learn. There is no shame in not knowing how to do something but it is very shameful to allow yourself to get any further along with this likely pregnancy unless you equip yourself with the best knowledge and experience you can. You have a responsibility to yourself and your baby to learn to become a mother.
There are also many, many families who would happily raise your baby as their own. You might want to consider adopting your baby to a loving family.
People all the time use "being Christian" as an excuse for doing things or not doing things. But there is nothing against adopting your baby out to a suitable family. That is a loving and selfless act.
Good luck. You appear to need it. Please, please get help. Do not wait a day.
2006-08-31 05:35:42 · answer #1 · answered by ssssss 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Young Lady.. Although I never ended up pregnant I was however raped by this guy at a party and I never told anyone. Now when I look back 18years ago I wish I would have. You still have a chance to do two things... first and foremost come clean with those that love you dearly and that's your family; you can't keep such thing as a pregnancy a secret and I am glad to hear you say you don't believe in abortions. But, this little one that you are caring deserves the truth about his biological father and you deserve to feel relieved that this JERK/ASSHOLE is being punished for what he took from you and perhaps left you with to take care of the rest of this little ones life. I would report the incident to the police and press charges... you were scared and felt alone.. I know I was there and still am today at times when I think back about that awful night. Don't be scared and ashamed you did not do anything wrong.. you are the victim... and if it turned out that the rapist is not the father and your ex boyfriend is well... he (the ex boyfriend) needs to stand up and take responsibility for his own actions and pleasure. Your family being Christians and all will be upset but, they will forgive you and things will work out. GOOD LUCK and GOD BLESS YOU!!
2006-08-31 12:42:17 · answer #2 · answered by crazy life 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to the doctor and make sure you're pregnant first.
your family should know that you were raped, but only the people you feel comfortable telling.
if you are pregnant, and it is from the black man, hopefully this can help change your family's view about racism. they wouldnt deny somebody in their own family simply based on race would they? and especially not an innocent little baby. you should keep the baby, obviously god wanted you to have it and you are so lucky to be able to be pregnant. ive been trying for a long time with absolutely nothing to show. this baby could be a blessing in disguise.
2006-08-31 12:33:13 · answer #3 · answered by Bailey J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to have a serious heart-to-heart with your family. If you tell them you were raped, they will be far more supportive than you think. NO ONE EVER deserves to be raped - it's not a choice of the woman's...EVER.
You should also contact a rape crisis center - they can get you in touch with the people who are best able to help you. Do it NOW. They understand about not reporting it sooner because of fear or embarrassment. Believe me, there's NOTHING to be embarrassed or afraid of.
Next, you need to decide what to do with the baby. If you are right, you could be up to 4-1/2 months pregnant - far too pregnant for an abortion at this rate. My best advice would be to get prenatal care NOW for the sake of you and your unborn, and then contact an adoption agency.
2006-08-31 12:29:53 · answer #4 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
contact social services and start getting help right away. Its 4 months and to late for an abortion. This is a fully formed person, your child that just needs to finish growing. You can not do anything about it now just wait to see what the baby turns out like. There are a lot of mixed babies in this world and very few pure blacks any more, unless you go to Africa. But a baby is a baby and unless you plan to hang on to your families coat tails the rest of your life and not eventually be a grown up on your own. Then do not worry about it. Its your baby. But do contact social services. I have several nieces who have black blood in them and they are very cute and very smart. If you are in an abusive family then get out of it and have social services help you.
2006-08-31 12:46:21 · answer #5 · answered by T 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down and tell your family what happened, know that it's not your fault. If you are pregnant, get to the dr's as soon as you can to make sure that your baby is healthy. Remind your family that it is your baby, even if it is half black!! After the baby is born have a paternity test done with your ex to make sure it either is or isn't his... Good luck
2006-08-31 12:35:07 · answer #6 · answered by Heather 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
#1 You should have reported it. #2 Sit down and talk to your family and explain what happened, the longer you wait the more hurtful and angry they are going to be. #3 When it comes to having the baby or not. Do what you believe is right. If you decide to keep the baby, you will need to love it and not be hurtful towards it because of how it was conceived. And if you decide to not keep it know that they're are plenty of woman and families out there looking to adopt babies and would be able to provide the baby with a good home.
2006-08-31 12:34:51 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Does your boyfriend know? Since you say your family is strongly racist, I wouldn't ask them for help.
You can give the baby up for adoption. There should be counsellors you can talk to about this who can help you decide. And get this guy off the street, if you can! As far as I'm concerned, rapers are among the lowest of the low scum!
2006-08-31 12:30:09 · answer #8 · answered by Tigger 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have the baby.
Tell your boyfriend and family what happened so they are prepared and can help you through this.
If the baby ends up being mixed and you dont want to raise it because it will remind you of the rape then give it up for adoption.
Best of luck and love to you, girl. God bless you.
2006-08-31 12:29:32 · answer #9 · answered by Queen Nefertiti 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont abort you baby!!!!!!!!!!! You should go to the police and tell them that you were raped and then you need to go to the doctor ASAP!
WHY DIDNT YOU GO TO THE POLICE SOONER OR TELL A FRIEND THAT SOMEONE RAPED YOU?
If the baby is the rapers baby you can always give it up for adoption if you dont want a mixed baby or better yet ..........I'll take the precious baby and shower him or her with love and affection.
2006-08-31 12:30:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋