why does he do this?

Question

I have been married 6 years and have 2 children.The other day my husband was really staring down this girl right in front of me and it irritated me and i told him that was disrespectful to me but he continued to do it so i got pretty upset and told him why dosent he take a picture it would last longer.He replied if i had a camera i would and you would never get me out of bathroom id whack to that all night long.That really hurt my feelings.We have been having problems for a while now and i have noticed the only time he is loving with me and wants to touch me is when hes horny and wants some.Yes i have talked with him dosent work.Any suggestions please.

Answer 1

I'm sorry you are going through this, Angie.

Counseling is the best step for you both, right now. He may not want to participate with you; even so, you should go with or without him.

I think I know the area in which you live... there is a very good professional named David Noll, look him up in North Fort Myers. If he can't help your family, he could certainly recommend someone who could.

Good luck and Godspeed..

Answer 2

This sounds like you all are experiencing boredom and some budding resentments thinly disguised as "humor". After (6) years of marriage this is not uncommon. Day to day living, working, and dealing with children's issues syphons a lot of the romance out of your already hectic routines. You know each other inside and out, and there is very little that isn't predictably scripted to occur on schedule. This is when things typically begin to erode for couples, hence the concept of the "seven year itch". And if you divide up into separate camps that's exactly the road you're heading toward. But there are things you both can do to combat this; it's not inevitable for everyone. The first thing is you have to believe in the value of what you're building together. Secondly, you have to look upon your partner as a partner and take the time to make them feel special and loved just like you both do for the children. This means not taking your spouse for granted or saying hurtful things (such as your husband has been saying to you), or looking outside your relationship at others to solve your issues. Some of these bad habits he's already begun, but maybe they can be turned around before they take a solid hold in his behavior. But he has to be the one to see the benefit of changing those patterns or the effort will fail. Maybe a date night every week can help you both reconnect....some time every week away from the children where you can focus exclusively on the two of you, and remember why you became partners in the first place. I'm hoping that maybe he fell into this pattern because he witnessed his father demonstrate the same type of boorish behavior, and not because he has a genuine right to be resentful. Maybe with counselling he can see the value in changing course now to protect what you've both established. He's not satified with the way things are either, or he wouldn't be exhibiting these behaviors...maybe he just doesn't know the proper way to correct it. I've read others suggesting cutting him off from sex. That's not a good idea, but it may be a natural result because it's difficult to be intimate when you don't feel valued. But in general when intimacy deteriorates everything else crashes soon after, so intervening with counselling or other measures is called for right away. If you can get him to take an honest, good hard look at how much he stands to lose by letting his family slip away from him, it may inspire him to take some proactive steps. This is not an easy place to be at all, but there is a way back from this if you both want it. Good luck to you as you seek these answers.

Answer 3

Most of the questions up there find fault in him (obviously). Then most of the above answers say to "cut him off" sexually.

Good grief. When will people start to realize that 2 wrongs (or more) never make a right. Ever.

I would say this: YOU TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT YOU.

1 - Teach him that behavior (especially around you) is not tolerable.

2 - Men are visual beings -- whoop-de-do. Is your self esteem so low that you are watching his eyes 24-7? Or was it a 'passing' thing? If your esteem, concept, image, etc. is where it should be -- you would knock him on the back of the head and know that you are of worth to the lug.

Recognize patterns.

Answer 4

I don't want to be harsh,but it sounds like this guy doesn't really love you anymore,and he certainly isn't respectful of your feelings. To put it bluntly,he doesn't care anymore how much he hurts you. Cutting him off from sex will only push him into the arms of another woman,if he hasn't already done that.You mentioned that you have been having problems for a while now,and if he's doing things like this,the situation is only deteriorating.You need to realize that your marriage is probably over and take the appropriate steps to end it now before you are hurt even more.It's not worth saving your marriage if you are in constant pain and worry over where he could be or what he's doing and who he's doing it with,etc.

Answer 5

It's very natural for men to stair at women. We also stair at men. The only difference is we are more respectful about it. But we are all human that's why we have eyes for. But the com men he made to you was very disrespectful! He should have kept it in his mouth. If you guys have been having problems, I think it's only gonna get worst..... Especially if he do-sent meat you half ways. If he is only interested in you when he wants some. Then you know their is something wrong!!! You need to ask yourself is it worth it? Is this what you want the rest of your life to be? Not only that, you also have to think of your children. If things get worst, the ones that are gonna suffer are the children. I'm not saying to get out now try to work things out but if for some reason things get worst, get out of the relationship! You have to believe you deserve better! Good luck to you I wish you the best!

Answer 6

In regard to looking at women, yes men do look at women,and nice cars and custom motorcycles and trees etc.If something is pleasing to the eye **Why would someone look away.**Women also look at men(if you say you/they don't you're lying) as well as cars, clothes etc. Men just don't seem to be bothered as much by it In regard to his comments,it sounds to me that it was retaliation to your nagging him about looking(I'll bet this was not the first time) You can't seriously be so insecure that his looking is a threat to you. If you are doing alot of whining and complaining ,it does tend to keep a man at arms length. Try ,if only for a couple weeks ,not whining or nagging(Save this behavior for the really BIG issues) Even if you .have to bite your tongue at times, try it . See if he gravitates back toward you. If this experiment nets a result you like you may consider modifying your nag/grip policies.

Answer 7

time for you to give this man a cold dose of reality .Start eyeing up guys and drooling for them.Make comments about the sexy butts and drool over the chests .Say things like buddy you you looked HALF that good I would have you all over the house !
Stuff liek that , then let him know the couch is his and leave the Vaseline near the end table with a good supply of tissue for him.Let him know he can try to solve the riddle of the tissues!

Then I would pack his bags leave them on the curb and let the dog in the house and let him sleep in the dog house cuz he needs to strainghten his sorry butt up!

If he cant figure out what you mean then Divorce his ignorant butt and live a better live .

Answer 8

Seriously, go for marriage counsel ling; Men who rubberneck at other women while they are with theirs are showing total disrespect. And for your husband to treat you like such, and say mean things shows what a disrespectful creep of a mate he is. If you did not have 2 kids, I'd tell you to leave this bag of poop.
If he does not want to go for couples counseling, then you go by yourself to get some help on how to work this out with him. I feel for you. Best of luck.

Answer 9

Don't let him belittle you like that, i would have slapped my husband if he even deared to try and say that to me.
Give him a reality check, dress like the girls he is staring down and play hard to get. When you both are out you need to stare down good looking guy right in the front of him, let him see how it feels.

Answer 10

I'm sorry hon, it seems you havent married a man, but you have married a barnyard animal often referred to as a pig. Give him a taste of his own medicine. When he wants to have sex, tell him you're not in the mood.....when you see a hot guy, stare at him and give him a little smile....maybe he'll see how it feels and knock it off.