What would you do: married one year with a 3 month old baby- I have above average looks- slim size 5 36C long haired green eyed- husband rarely has "good" sex with me, yet he is very much into porn... is this normal? how can you tell when your husband is not turned on by you?
2006-08-31 04:46:11 · 26 answers · asked by Brenda 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
tell him to ditch the porn. even if it is just a "hobby" or he likes to watch it he should come to you for all of his needs if you know what i mean. having that stuff around your child won't be good either especially when the child gets older. it's better to ditch the habit now. one way or another get rid of it!
2006-08-31 04:50:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not to defend him, but men are much more visually oriented than women. I know what life is like with a 3 month old but maybe you could try some sexy lingerie and see if that makes a difference? If this is a recent development, it might have something to do with you becoming a mother. Men sometimes get a little strange about their wives becoming mothers.
If it's been going on since before your marriage, then I've not got a lot of good things to say about him. I find it offensive as well; especially the sneaky, keep it hidden from the wife sort. Perhaps a marriage counselor can help you sort it out.
2006-08-31 05:01:04 · answer #2 · answered by Raven 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the porn is not always a giveaway, sometimes it stimulates the thought process and gets ideas to flow more freely....a sure fire way to tell if the guy is sexually into you or not is by the DIP STICK. Is it limp after 120 seconds of intercourse? Chances are he's not into it....or you...could be the child....babies change things.....could be his job situation....stress kills a sex life. From experience, i can tell you that I wasn't into my child's mother either.....it was a sex thing that turned into a baby thing. We tried sex lots of times later, and I just couldn't dig it....there are facts and there are truths. this is a truth: the relationship is only as good as the MAN thinks it is, women cannot change that, ever. Maybe you should consider what he's looking for in the porn, a specific act maybe, and try to duplicate it......
2006-08-31 04:59:58 · answer #3 · answered by dad of dallas 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not normal. If your husband is into porn, in essence, he's cheating on you and that's not normal or right. What I suggest is find out what turns him on. Evidentally, there is something in those porn mags or websites that turn him on. Find out what! Communication is one of the most important "keys" in a realtionship. Talk to him and find out as much as you can. From the description you gave, if you just had a baby and you are in a size 5 you are more that just average....(you go girl)!!!
I don't think he would have married you if he wasn't attracted to you in any way. Find out that attraction and maximize it!!!
God Bless
2006-08-31 05:42:32 · answer #4 · answered by jcdunbar0312 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, sweetie, it ain't normal. If a guy looks at porn infrequently, it's no big deal, but if he prefers it to you, comes home and parks himself in front of a monitor, pays to have porn sites, closes the door to his study, and jerks off watching the stuff, falls asleep watching it, he has an addiction, and good luck getting him off of it even with counseling. Good luck even going in, kissing him on the back of his neck and asking him to come to bed...... He could cure a drug, drinking or smoking habit easier. After awhile, all respect, admiration, and passion is gone, and those are the things that ARE a marriage. I'm sorry you have a child. The addiction just gets worse.... been there, and left
2006-08-31 05:53:52 · answer #5 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all why don't you talk tohim and ask him why he is so interested in it. Regardless if you get rid of the porn the thought is always going to be there. There is nothing wrong with being opened minded but in the same respect he as well needs to think of your feelings sit down and discuss this with each other and you might find that bringing something sexual besides yourselves to the bedroom just might be more exciting than you both thought . Your imagination should hold no bounds. Enjoy each other and what you do for each other.
2006-08-31 04:59:32 · answer #6 · answered by star110772000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That would be annoying... If he was into porn AND into having good sex - that's one thing; but it sounds like your husband's priorities are skewed. Have you tried discussing it with him? Is he in denial, or does he realize there's a problem? I don't know what to suggest; perhaps you could bring up counseling? Maybe it's some kind of temporary thing - or has it been like this since you're been married? If so, how did you deal with it at the time?
2006-08-31 04:56:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I myself love porn. It is a place to go and watch your fantasies come true. If he is not turned on by you though, that is a problem. You say you have a 3month old. Was he in the delivery room at the birth, if so, from my experience after seeing that happen it took a while to get over it. it was pretty gross if you ask me, sexual I mean not the baby being born part, that was awesome but the sight of it turned me off. Ask him, that may be what the problem is.
Good luck
2006-08-31 04:55:44 · answer #8 · answered by Andy S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, all adult adult males do not watch porn- notwithstanding if or not they're married or single. this is purely a guy element using fact the porn marketplace is directed in direction of adult adult males- it is why the female actors are fairly and characteristic great bodies, whilst the adult adult males can look like notwithstanding as long as they could the two carry on a protracted time or have a considered one of those enormous one that even while delicate it would not look like it. there are various women human beings- immediately women human beings- who watch porn. each and every each and every now and then for concepts, each and every each and every now and then using fact they're voyeurs and only relish observing others. Porn would not- can't- replace an rather guy or woman. So people who get indignant using fact their mate watches it, astound me almost, using fact i don't pay attention approximately those comparable lawsuits while attractive actresses do love or intercourse scenes in R-rated video clips; which does not make sense to me using fact i be responsive to greater adult adult males who locate Angelina Jolie or Megan Fox warm than I do adult adult males who watch porn using fact they locate those actresses warm. i'm a married women human beings yet i'm able to admit that i think of Jason Stratham is between the sexiest adult adult males on show- so sexy the place even my husband had to admit that he grew to become into sturdy finding. Jason Stratham could desire to in no way take the area of my husband. My husband knows it, so he would not get indignant each and every time I say "damn, that guy is high-quality!". So, i in my view think of you're overreacting and you're able to desire to end wearing your coronary heart on your sleeve.
2016-10-01 03:21:03 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband does the same thing. I'm not overweight and good looking with a good figure. Guys come on to me all the time. But he looks at porn. I don't care if he looks at porn but why not include me in on it. I like it to. Have you tried getting involved with him on it? It can be very exciting and fun.
2006-08-31 04:54:34 · answer #10 · answered by need to know 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girlfriend, girlfriend. This is becoming a nationwide epidemic. You are definitely not alone. I have been through this (and still do) as well as many of my friends. Men are visual creatures and dogs to boot (no offense to dogs) and there is no way to control what they do. I learned that the hard way. I am currently working a plan to get out of my relationship, largely due to the same daggone thing. I feel for you, honey. Please do not let it affect your self esteem. It is HIS problem, NOT YOURS. Never, ever accept responsibility for someone else's actions. You can try talking to him and let him know how you feel and he may give it up, or he may just say that (my personal experience) and continue to do what he wants to. I really hope that this helps!!
Sheri
2006-08-31 05:16:36 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋