my step daughter lives with me and her dad and we get her up everymorning for school. the other day she put on a pair of high heals to wear to school. her mom bought them for her. her dad and i agreed that she was to young for heels, and did not let her wear them. she went home and told her mom, and you can imagine how that went. needless to say, her mom came to our house and took all the shoes that she had purchased, not real sure of the point. we also bought her a pair of tennis shoes for school and her mom made a comment about the color of the shoes not matching all of her clothes. our standpoint was that the girl picked out the shoes because she liked them and she is only nine and we are not going to buy her a different pair of shoes to go with all of her clothes. that would be wasteful, her foot is still growing, and not to mention that most kids would give anything to have a pair of shoes as nice as hers anyhow and she need not be taught to be selfish.did we do right?
2006-08-31 04:27:39 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Nothing wrong with what you did..... Heels are NOT for 9 yr olds..... I can certainly see why your Hubby Divorced that Floozy!
Keep up the Good work :-)
2006-08-31 04:31:39 · answer #1 · answered by D B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were right, she's too young for heels. However, at her age she is starting to try and develop a style. You should let her buy one other pair of shoes to replace the ones that are gone. The newpair should be something everyone can agree on. Let her explore her own sense of style and not what her mom throws down her throat. This would be a good opportunity to show her the proper way of dressing while at the same time she'll feel like a big kid.
2006-08-31 11:36:44 · answer #2 · answered by Carrie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a 9 year old girl.....I would not let her wear high heels to school or anywhere else for that matter. I am just wondering what you consider high heels.
I would let my daughter wear a low heel to like church or someplace they will not be running around ina nd need to dress up but nothing more than an inch and DEFINITYLY NEVER TO SCHOOL.
Regarding the shoes she has not matching her other clothes......Tell her to buy some white ones then because that goes with almost anything. She did NOTHING but break her daughters heart and feel like SHE did something wrong when all the adults in her life are pissed at each other over shoes.
Children esp of divorse, blame themselves when adults fight over something about the child. That is NEVER acceptable.
The Maternal mother needs to grow up and realize SHE is hurting her child.
2006-08-31 11:37:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you guys were right , you'll seem to have more common sense then the Mama. Heels are a NO, NO. The age of nine is too young for this little girl to wear heels, If you had not made that decision you wouldn't of been responsible and sens able parents.
I also think if the Mama wants the nine years old girl to have matching shoes for all her outfits then she can get them herself, and even that I think is a mistake " cause if you don't start nothing, there wont be nothing"
2006-08-31 11:53:01 · answer #4 · answered by Joyous Dawn in the morning 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You guys are doing just fine. Your step daughter's mom is a very materialistic, selfish, naive, petty, ignorant person. Don't pay her any mind. Just go on doing what you're doing and raise that little girl the best you know how. Yes, I do agree that she is too young to be wearing high heels period. Let alone to school. My nine year old wears my heels for fun. (dress up) I also let her pick out what she likes. She's pretty good with it I might add. She has a great sense of style. Let your step daughter express herself. Good luck and God bless.
2006-08-31 11:35:36 · answer #5 · answered by gemone523 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a nine year old girl should never wear high heels to school. maybe around the house for playing and stuff. you guys did the right thing. that mother needs to realize the girl is only nine, and yes tennis shoes are the right thing to get her, so what if they dont match all of her clothes. the woman has issues
2006-08-31 11:36:12 · answer #6 · answered by kelley_blues26 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you and your husband. Nine is way too young for a child to wear heels. She should be woring basic white tennis shoes or what ever kind of shoes she has picked out that are right for school but not heels!
2006-08-31 11:32:51 · answer #7 · answered by Joeys Girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you could have allowed her to keep the heels and wear them on special occasions, you are not her mother, her mother bought the shoes, you hurt the child by telling her that she could not wear something her mother bought her. I think all of this is between you and the mother that both of you have a say in the child's life but you have conflicting views.
If her mother buys her shoes to go with everything that is fine because that is her child and her money and she can do whatever she want when it comes to that.
The point her mother was trying to make to you is that "if the shoes I bought for my daughter are a problem to you I will take them with me and YOU buy her shoes since you know it all.
Children need to learn not to be selfish but I dont see any instance in this case of this little girl being selfish, I see you being selfish and her mother also acting selfish.
I think that you and her mother need to solve your issues and come to agreements on certain things for that child or else you will both rip that little girl's life apart.
2006-08-31 11:51:22 · answer #8 · answered by Joyann R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to straighten her up a bit. Just tell her that "it's what's on the inside that counts." or something like that. Maybe she's spoiled or something.
Maybe her mom is spoiling her, you know giving her what she wants, when she wants it? That's bad.
Anyway, no matter how good the quality of your tennis shoes, and you're not so good at the game, not only did you do nothing for yourself, you also disgraced the make of the shoes - hahaha.
No, seriously, straighten her up. She must be rich or something, being picky and all, but there is no gurantee that she'll be rich when she gets older, and if she keeps that habit and it becomes an attitude, she going to be one picky saleswoman.
2006-08-31 11:37:58 · answer #9 · answered by zack_falcon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you did good, at nine yrs. old she doesn't need to worry about matching her shoes with her outfits, for crying out loud I don't even do that. It's not like she is sixteen yrs. old or anything. You did fine, and it's good that you are teaching her this to be grateful for what she gets. Ovbisouly her mom is not aware of how acting so selfish could affect of how people think of your step daughter. My god, high heels, she does not need to wear, or get any attention like that.
2006-08-31 11:35:14 · answer #10 · answered by BlinkOnce 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES.... You are right and she is DEF wrong for getting a 9 yr old high heel shoes... thats ridiculous. Unless of coarse the mom wants her to grow up and be a stripper.
2006-08-31 11:31:17 · answer #11 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋