HELP!!! my man cant stop ogling other girls!!?

Question

we have been together for 2 years, and he tells me he loves me all the time, hes kind and gentle, and finally i have found someone who treats me, and my child right,he want a child, and to get married to me...!
but theres just one thing, when we go out, or go shopping, i find him staring at girls, i am not unattractive at all, and im not looking out for this, sometimes he double takes and sometimes hes staring right through me ,a nd at them, reguardless if im with him or not.i have questioned him about this, and he says he is not interested in other women, and doesnt relise he is doin this. it is making me feel worthless and unhappy, and i feel like im constantly comparing myself to other women all the time. what would you do, and does anybody else have to put up with this from there partner?

please dont say that its me who has no self esteem, and its a problem within myself, because if he didnt do this to me id have self esteem

of course its ok to look, and i do it, but i dont ogle and stare!!

Answer 1

If he can't stop ogling women he is not YOUR man. He is everyones man.

Is that o.k. with you?

Answer 2

So what you are saying is that during these two years you have never eyed up another bloke?

Sadly, unless you decide to date someone who has severe sight problems, you can either look ahead of you so you don't bump into objects or you can just spend your time looking at your mans face to see what he is looking at and use it as an excuse to flirt with his best mate when he's doing some chore or errand that you sent him on and he performed because he loves you.

Insecurity is an issue we all have to deal with but, as I'm sure he would tell you, if he didn't want to be with you and wanted someone else he'd end the relationship, if you don't want to be with him, then be honest.

As for issues of worthlessness and unhappiness we are all unique and all incomparable, I would respectfully suggest that you get over this and put it down to jealousy, which is a good thing because if we didn't care, we wouldn't feel.

Answer 3

Well don't let it make you feel worthless, because guys who do this, it's not because the person they are with isn't attractive or worth it, it's just because that is what they're like. Even if your man was going out with, say, Angelina Jolie, he would still be ogling other girls. It's a problem he has that doesn't reflect back on you. Some guys just feel a compulsion to do this. Have you told him that it really hurts you? Does he really not realize that he's doing it? Maybe he doesn't want to have to acknowledge that it's a problem. I think what I would do is just let him know that I'm not happy with the situation, and that he has to realize he is doing it and at least acknowledge that what he's doing is Not making me happy.

Answer 4

Ok girl. You have to understand that is the way most men are but most men will be suttle when they look or stare at other woman. they don't mean to do it. It's just a man;s nature and no harm is done here. But if you nag him then it could get really bad. so leave it alone. it's ok. as long as he loves you and respects you why would you make a big deal out of it. In fact tell him that if he wants to look at other woman to make it a little less obvious. don't worry. If you nag him about it he may withdraw from you and make it worse...forget it. My husband used to do that when we were dating but i don't mind it if it was not made so obvious and i told him that he can look at other woman but make sure he does not make it so obvious. He needs to know that you are not INSECURE...it's obvious you are and you have a low self esteem ..if you were secure and had high self esteem you would not be even bothered by it.

Answer 5

This is a guy thing, they can't help it, as long as he is not chatting them up, don't drive him away with jealousy. We go on about our favourite male actors, pop artist etc. Most guys don't even realise they are starring at boobs and bums. Its just fantasy. Not many men are prepared to get married today, you have one that wants too. Comparing yourself to other women will make you unhappy, watch the programe Do I Look Good Naked when it comes back on, finally a show for real women, its an eye opener, and shows normal women all have good points!

If you cannot trust him, don't marry him, it's not fair to constantly want re-assurance, and to feel worth anything because you have a man, you need to feel secure in yourself, and have self confidence. How many times do you tell him he is sexy, drop dead gorgeous, cant keep your hands of his body etc.... would it not wear you out constantly doing this all thetime?

Answer 6

He has an adultery problem. Jer 2:24 he needs to be mindful of you. You sure he doesn't have a little something on his mind? This is going to be a problem. It doens't matter if he's toucing them or not, it matters if he's picturing them in his head. what is he doing with them in his head? Matt 5:28

If you look at the other answers, Our sociey has become so USED to the lust, we put up with it. there's only one other answer that would agree with mine but a man who truly loves and respects the woman does nto "Check out" other women. he treats them like sisters in christ, even if he is not religious. It's called being in love. If you actually READ that other answe,rshe said her partner, the first guy who was checkign girls out LEFT her for another one and the second guy who WASN'T is STILL THERE! think about it.

Answer 7

You have to understand something, it's completely natural and not a reflection on you at all. Men look at women, we are visual animals, that's what we do. You have to let it go and not let it affect your relationship because there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. My wife actually takes part in my ogling and asks me what I think about so-and-so's body or look. We talk about it like we're both mutally interested and it makes the whole act seem completely non-threatening. Thus, it makes our relationship better because I'm not constantly trying to sneak glances or avoid her catching me.

Trust me on this, you have to come to grips with the fact that it's not about you.

Answer 8

OHHHHHHH Yes/ Every man does this. Why haven't you noticed it before? They pretend they are looking at something else...they look under their eyelashes....they take sidelong glances...they have a little grin....but then I have seen women doing the same thing. One girl was staring at a man and said to me....why is he staring at me....well.....? Why ae YOU staring t him. I shouldnt worry about it. Men are men! A bee goes to the honey but the honey doesn't go to the bee!!!

Answer 9

Its not your low self esteem.
I think there are some men who don't oggle. But I think most of us do. I'm not sure if its education, environment, genetic, hormones, or a subtle mixture of all. Remember those rumours that blokes think of sex every day and for a significant part of the time. I think that is quite true too.
We are shallow, I know. But fun? It's crap that he's not subtle or is it better?

Answer 10

Have you discussed it with him? It could be an unconscious habit he has. I would call him on it every time it happens. Or you could start ogling men and see how he likes it.
Looking isn't the worst thing in the world as long as he is faithful to you.

Answer 11

this not a big problem, he has eyes, he says he loves you, he wants to marry you and father a child with you. i feel its OK to look. i have look but don't touch policy, it works out fine. i am 10 years older than my husband and he used to be a chronic ogler, so i started playing along, by pointing out big breasted girls, slutty looking girls, and pretty girls. as long as he loves you, whats an ogle or two? its not touching, and that is disrespect. so relax and take a deep breath, he with you, not them.