I feel detached from myself and i sometimes take it out on my family by neglecting them?

Question

I feel almost dead inside like i have no emotions I feel no love no hate. I never smile without faking it. I am not sad I am nothing. I know that i ignore and neglect my family because i just don't have it in me to be the loving caring father and husband they deserve. I have got to the point where i have tried to make my wife leave me because i know she would be better off with someone else. I love them all more than anything in this world and they are the reason I am still alive. I would have killed myself long ago if not for thier love. I just want some feed back on how to help the situation and if anyone else has felt this way and what did you do. Just some words of encouragement would suffice. I can't make myself feel anything sometimes. I am having a hard time faking the feelings and emotions. I just want to be happy because i have no reason to be this way. I have been on medication it didn't work. I think i need a revelation or i need to figure something out to help.

Answer 1

i would go to a different doctor and try different medicine. other than that, don't try to force yourself to be happy ( it'll only make it more apparent to you that you aren't ) try doing new things. outdoors things are better ( natural mood elevator vitamin d ) plus, that way you could get your kids involved. write in a journal and maybe inadvertently the cause of "the death of your emotions" will come out. once you know what caused it, you'll have a better idea how to deal with it.
also, keep in mind that the Buddhists long for nirvana ( nothingness! not being happy, just not being) so maybe you're one step closer than the rest of us. good luck, and try to actually get outside, it really helps me.

Answer 2

Well, you are saying you have no emotions, yet you LOVE your family MORE than anything. So, there are emotions there, right? You take stuff out on your family? There are some more emotions, right?

I would guess, you are angry and afraid. Only you will know why. You need to talk it out in a neutral area where you do not feel threatened. You need to ask these two questions, especially about your family.....What am I afraid of? AND what is making me so angry? Go deep, look at WHO you WANT to be vs Who YOU THINK you have become and find the answers somewhere there.

Maybe you are depressed? WHY?
Maybe you feel pressured? WHY?
ARE you guilty? WHY?

The key is being introspective. LOOK into your self in a mirror and be truthful. Then, whatever that truth is, deal with it NOW.

Answer 3

It's true that having some kind of personal revelation of what is behind these thoughts (and they are only thoughts) would be wonderful, but who can make revelations happen on demand? So the second best is to keep trying with your doctor to find a medication that does work for you. And FYI, I have tried many, many different anti-depressants over the years, and a lot of them simply didn't work at all for me, but others did. Of course, you have to stick with one for a month or so to see if it works.

I urge you to talk to your psychiatrist about getting, in addition to an anti-depressant, a prescription for Perphenazine (Trilafon®). That was a miracle drug for me. It acts very quickly (a couple days even) and REALLY restores your mood and thoughts to normal and happier. At least it did for me.

There is generally always a treatment that works for depression and unusual ideation like you are having. Don't give up and don't drive your family away. You need them more than anything else.

Answer 4

Sometimes medication does not always work.....it can do more harm than good. The best medication in the world is JESUS.

Sometimes we men go through bouts of depression at differnt stages in our lives, money, stress, sex, bills, car repairs and that list can go on and on and on, can grasp a hold of us and will not let go. No matter how hard you try.........and when this happens the people that love us the most , the ones that say " HEY ITS IT'S GONNA BE ALRIGHT".....for some reason get ignored, we stop caring for them, we stop loving them..........we just stop.

This is the time when we really need to show them that no matter how tough things are, or how streessed out we may be. I'm here and your family needs you as much as you need them.

Call on Jesus......trust me he listening

Answer 5

Depression is different for everyone. Symptoms are different and the way we feel is different. I think you need to find something that makes you happy, a hobby, a sport etc. Go back to when you were a kid and find something you really enjoyed, and do it. Take time away from your family and job to clear your head and think. Remember a goal you had as a kid and acomplish it. I treid a few meds before I got it right, and there is a major difference. I never wanted to get out of bed. I had no drive for life. I felt dead inside as well, and wellbutrin helped for me. Good luck.

Answer 6

Hey guy, if it sounds like depression, it probably is depression, your going to have to give the Doc's another shot. I've struggled with these issues since the late 60's, not sure how my wife stayed with me all these years. One of the best things I've found for myself is staying active, physically. I started running, sounds like Forrest Gump but it really helped. I was able to find a place to sort it out when I ran, that worked until the mid 90's when my knee's wore out. I stay active but I've had to use medication as well. Your not dead because you know you are loved and needed by your wife and family plus some body's watching over you. Get yourself back to the Doc, OK?? Take care...

Answer 7

You do have a reason to be the way you are, unless you are sociopathic, and that can be genetic. But you say you care. It sounds like major depression, a very serious condition. Other respondents are giving very good advice, about trying other kinds of medication. But even with the right medication, you've got work to do to discover what underlies this lack of feeling in you.

Answer 8

Medication sucks, you need counseling. Talking about your feelings can help you get to the bottom of what's going on in your mind. At some point something happened that made your mind shut down on the emotions. You may have forgotten it to get over it, but your body hasn't and is dealing with it by blocking all emotions. You need help, but the counseling kind. Get it soon. The sooner you start talking to someone about your problem the sooner you can find the source and deal with it. Good luck and God bless you. Hang in there!

Answer 9

That sounds like clinical depression and if the meds you had didn't work, there are several others your doctor could try. Sometimes it takes a while to get the one that works best for you, but be patient. In the meantime, please get yourself into some sort of therapy - the right counselor and medications CAN make all the difference in the world.

Answer 10

Just because one medicaiton did not work tell them and they will find one that does. I delt with depression for years. It started as post partum depression then just went into regular depression. I wanted to kill myself and actually tried. I put myself in the hospital and believe that was the best thing I could ever do. I just showed up at my local hospital in the ER and told them that I wanted to kill myself and they put me in. Got my meds regulated put me in a theripy group and I got much better. I am now after 9 years in a great relationship that still has regular daily stress but its stress I can deal with because I looked inmyself by going to groups and reading self help books. THe main thing is you will not get better if you look to others to make you better. You have to find in yourself what is broke and fix it.